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Community Voices

Unpresent (A poem)

I feel like I’m watching the world
happen around me.
Distant from my body,
leagues and leagues under the black sea
bewildered by the brilliant bioluminous lights. Or
in the cold choke of space,
floating through little diamonds
and pinprick stars. Far.
D i s c o n n e c t e d.

#Dissassociation #Derealization #Depersonalization

Community Voices

Need reassurance

<p>Need reassurance</p>
7 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices

I believe you

For all of you with dissassociative identity disorder- I believe you. I 100% accept you. I just wanted to let you know that someone on the “outside” believes that. I think DID is a beautiful expression of the personality, although it is never something a person would choose.
peace and light, Ingrid
#dissassociativeidentitydisorder #DID #dissassociativedisorder #Dissassociation

Community Voices

Does anyone else struggle with disassociation in regards to their chronic illness?

I've been chronically ill since I was 10, symptoms have frequently been debilitating since I was 14. I'm 23 now, and I'm just now realizing that I never really embraced the fact that *I* am actually sick. It just hit me that I never really thought of it as *me* who struggled to get out of bed every morning, couldn't walk straight, or eat like everybody else, or the girl in more daily pain than the average 80 year old. I'm just now realizing that this is not someone else, this is not some part of me that I can run from, or that I can get back. It's weird because I thought I'd accepted my chronic illnesses, as part of me, but not owning me, the last several years, but now it's suddenly hitting me, that internally, I've always been somebody else, not connected with my chronically ill self. And now it's really hard to face it. I don't like that this is me, ya know? Does anyone else struggle with this as well? #Dissassociation #ChronicIllness #Dissassociating #chronicallyill

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

My husband is getting a second surgery on his shoulder tomorrow. I have fibromyalgia and a bunch of stupid little ailments along with it and my husband was just diagnosed with #CPTSD so we have a lot going on. I also have a job and two young kids. I can’t seem to sleep and when I feel myself drifting off I snap out of it really quick because my anxiety tells me I need to stay awake because my dreams have been really strange and very vivid leaving me in the actual emotion I’m feeling in the dream. I can even smell and taste stuff it’s weird. So I just snapped out of falling asleep, my hubby went to sleep on the couch because he’s also having a hard time getting comfortable. Well as I snapped myself out of my sleep I went to the bathroom and spent 30mins or more picking the crap out of my arms. I disassociate when I’m doing it. Like it feels good like a stress release but it hurts too but I feel like I’m cleaning my skin up even though I’m making it waaaaay waaaay worse. It looks horrible. I have blotches and scars now. I hate my skin. I’ve struggled with #Dermatillomania for about 24yrs maybe and as life has become harder the picking has gotten worse! I wish I could stop. I hate my skin and my need to pick that one little bump that nobody else can even see. Now I feel so much shame for picking my arms.... my husband will see them in the morning and shake his head at me and said “Ohhh ellie why did you do that babe? That’s no good!” And of course I know it’s not, I don’t want to do it, I just start doing it somehow and then can’t snap myself out of it!! can anyone share any ideas to help me stop in the moment? I’ve tried putting bandaids on my arms as a visual trigger to stop but that only works sometimes

9 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Hi has anyone else experienced everything feeling like a dream?

I’m 17 and have been diagnosed with Borderline traits, Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It’s been a few years and I’m lucid and understand what’s going on but I just feel like everything is passing me by and it feels like a dream or a memory. It’s been happening since before I was put on medication. Anyone who has experienced this have any advice? #Borderline #Dissassociation

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices
Community Voices

Over the past few months, I have heard several times that my memories are false. This is always in a way where the memory has turned against me, as it were, putting me in a victimised position, feeling unseen/unheard/undervalued/unimportant. Besides this, I legitimately forget a lot as well, which might be both due to BPD as well as epilepsy.
Recently, I have become aware of my disassociating, although only at times. The same goes for splitting; I didn’t realise I engaged in this coping-mechanism up until now, although when I look back on earlier years, I was already doing it.
These things, learning about them and encountering my own unhealthy behaviours in the moment or afterwards, are truly painful. The realisation that my mind is playing tricks on me, especially involving people I love and admire very much, is terrifying. What? Why? How? And how much longer? I feel truly awful and have been depressed for a few weeks again now.
What do I do? Does anyone recognise this in themselves and/or have any pointers to deal with unreliable memories and/or splitting? (I tend to split most from myself)

2 people are talking about this