While in hospital for my mental health, I was taken off of certain medications to be put on new medication. And during this difficult time I started to write poetry. With ADHD I sometimes struggle to put thoughts together in a way that makes sense.. with creative writing I really learned to express how I feel about my situation.
So I wrote a poem about our inner self-created guardians, the inner children that we have inside us that still tries to protect us from harm even when we no longer need them. Whether we have this guardian because of abuse of any kind, I wrote this piece so that people could relate to having that inner voice that can sometimes be guilt creating, harmful and overwhelming.
So while off my meds this is how I strung my thoughts together in hopes that I might find someone who can relate.
The poem’s name is
Sometimes I'm overcome by a shadow and marked unsafe by feelings of madness,guilt,badness...sadness
That my own mind runs wild searching for peace, my
thoughts making me fight with a "ME" that I have
created out of necessity..
Now that very creation bothers me not only now and then but incessantly...
Trying to find a purpose for existing in a world it was not meant for...
Trying to hold onto the woman that doesn't need her anymore..
How does one create space in one's mind for a self-created guardian? And still exist as one's own protector? One that I have always been? And never even knew...
How then do I become truly "ME" without letting go of you? - a poem by Camron Botha
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