Emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder

I feel so ashamed for something I did in the past, it was a terrible day and everytime it’s mentioned I freeze. I don’t know how to apparoach the shame without not wanting to hurt myself. I hurt people that day and though they forgive me I still feel like they hold it against me and that I’ll always be In debt. My whole existence is reliant upon people liking me. Having loved ones almost control me but in a way of being scared so that doesn’t happen is so hard. I just shut down, I can’t talk, can’t function. I just want to cry in a hole and not exist. #Emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression

My mental health is affecting my friendships.
I'm not the most social person howver recently I've found my mental health has really started to make meeting friends even harder and I have become such a shit friend.
Always bailing or not making plans or completely shutting out due to just not being able to cope or because at that moment I don't feel in control of my emotions it's just not the risk.
Some of my friends take it to heart and think it's because of them. They see me out one time with one friend and that's it they think I'm ok. I just don't know what to do #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD #Emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder #Depression #Anxiety #Friends

When I feel emotional pain, I feel it physically in my body too. It’s an extremely real and painful sensation in my body. Does anyone else have that?

How do people cope with working when your head is so loud.
I feel so trapped in my head but also the building. Feel like the walls are caving in and everyone and everything around me is a blur.
My body is walking around whilst my mind is somewhere else.
I'm so disorientated. My normal routine has turn in to a why am I in this room. What am I doing here. What was I meant to be doing. Please don't talk to me. When they do it's just noise. Nothing Is going in so I try and hide. Hide away but when working you can't do that. You've got to face everything.
Same time without work I'm even more than the nothing I feel I already am.
#BPD #Depression #Emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder #EUPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Work #lost #Cantcope

1 year since I last self harmed

1 year since I last attempted to take my own life.

I might still have angry outbursts, and I might reach for alcohol when it does get tough - but I have self control now

I might still have mood swings so violent I feel disassosiative and like I don’t belong to my body - but I know my brain and how to feel like I belong again

I might still see things black and white and not fully in colour - but I feel more positive emotion that I ever did a year ago

I might still have so many “symptoms” of #BPD but I am MANAGING it!. BPD does not define me and I am not a diagnosis, I am my own person and I am learning every day how to deal with having a perment mental illness

As permanent as it may be, every day is not the same - some days it’s like I don’t have a mental illness

I am living my life again and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come in a year.

#BPD #Borderline #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD #Emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder #MentalIllness #improvement #Recovery #happy #YouCanDoIt #borderlinehelp #BorderlineStigma #BORDERLINEPROBLEMS

I’m currently in hospital because of seizures, and they are trying to state that my seizures are down to emotional unstable personality disorder a term called dissociative seizures. But surely #Fedupofdrs if this was the case I would’ve experienced this months ago when having psychosis and mental breakdown no? Not now when life’s going fairly well and I’m actually happy. #Dissociativeseizures #Emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #fedupofmybody