#Autism #Disability #InvisibleDisability #Success #improvement Well, today I made another step towards a big change in my life. I realize many people won't think much of it, but the people here who deal with disabilities that affect their daily functional skills and such will. That much I've learned in my short time here. I retrieved the dinner plates I've had in storage over at mom's for almost 2 decades. They are unpacked and waiting to be washed and put away! For most of the last 2 decades I have used paper plates, and reusable plastic cutlery (washed over and over again until they break. Often at mom's protest)
2 of the smaller ones need repairing as they have broken. 1 today, and 1 I discovered that way. But that can be a tomorrow project too, or whenever. I need to find some food safe adhesive. (Google was ready with several suggestions when I looked.)
These days I'm usually pretty capable of washing dishes regularly enough, all by myself, that such a move is reasonable!! I've been slowly increasing the amount I use metal utensils, and bought a few more so that I don't run out before I can wash dishes. Now I guess I am on to plates! With any luck this latest experiment will work out! There certainly seem to be enough plates I shouldn't have an issue. There are two different styles. 1 plain, but durable stoneware, (just a few), and the rest more fragile ceramic (judging by the broken ones), but very beautiful ones.
Wish me luck! I never could've imaginedmy life would improve to this point, even 10 years ago!!
Just over a month ago I packed up my life in the city and moved to the outback for my first full time job. I was terrified of everything that could go wrong. My paranoia was out of control just before moving and I would constantly think of the worst possible things.
Now I realise I made the right choice, I'm enjoying my job (most of the time) and my mental health has drastically improved, when I started seeing a therapist last year my anxiety was so high that even my therapist seemed surprised, and I had moderate depression. Now my anxiety is at a moderate level and my depression is rarely symptomatic. I don't remember the last time I had a panic attack. My OCD is still pretty symptomatic and my self-esteem and personal confidence isn't great but that's ok.
I honestly think helping others and learning so much is helping me. I'm an allied health professional and working with children in the community and clinic.
1 year since I last self harmed
1 year since I last attempted to take my own life.
I might still have angry outbursts, and I might reach for alcohol when it does get tough - but I have self control now
I might still have mood swings so violent I feel disassosiative and like I don’t belong to my body - but I know my brain and how to feel like I belong again
I might still see things black and white and not fully in colour - but I feel more positive emotion that I ever did a year ago
I might still have so many “symptoms” of #BPD but I am MANAGING it!. BPD does not define me and I am not a diagnosis, I am my own person and I am learning every day how to deal with having a perment mental illness
As permanent as it may be, every day is not the same - some days it’s like I don’t have a mental illness
I am living my life again and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come in a year.
#BPD #Borderline #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD #Emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder #MentalIllness #improvement #Recovery #happy #YouCanDoIt #borderlinehelp #BorderlineStigma #BORDERLINEPROBLEMS
I'm getting better little by little now. I can't believe I'm actually saying that! It's been a rough 2 & 1/2 years and I have hated parts of this journey but it feels good to say I am doing better now. My suicidal thoughts have decreased, my energy has increased, and I'm thinking more clearly. A huge piece of thi Shasta been my medication working. Not everything is great but that's ok. I'm getting there. Keep going everyone! You can do this. 💪🏿💛
I'm looking for some inspiration. Is it really possible to change your thought patterns so you believe in yourself or changing your eating patterns so the new way becomes normal-ish.
I've tried to make changes for so long and it never works. I know ALL the theory but applying it is a step beyond what I can do.
Is there hope, or is it really about making the most of where you are? #Anxiety #Procrastination #Depression #hopeful
I stayed home all day, didn’t feel guilty about it (usually, I feel like I’m not doing enough). I took the time to rest and relax and I didn’t beat myself up about making that choice (which I usually do). I did some dishes, some self care journaling, and made a quick, healthy supper. I watched a lot of tv and played a computer game. I did some knitting and looked through my library account online to renew books and put some more on hold. I did a little bit of reading. I stayed in my robe all day. I posted comments here on the Mighty. I don’t feel “great” or even “average” but I don’t feel awful and that is a big improvement for me. #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #Selfcare #improvement
*Heavy exhale* Some of you know, some know silently, or some dont know that this is something I struggle with. On this day 2 years ago around this exact time around 2am...was the last time I had relapsed. Be ashamed. Be disappointed. Feel sorry for me. You do you. But for me...accepting the scars that I made by my own hands is not easy to forgive myself. Even though I’ve come this far, its still...TO THIS DAY...not easy. Im very proud of myself but I hold on with every ounce I have. I can still feel every second and time. Its hard not to hate myself..but I have to forgive myself. But I will not apologize...because life, Is not easy, and people will make mistakes. Im not sorry...but please forgive me for the past, present, and or future.
“Time will heal all wounds.” #Selfharm #selfloveisnotselfish #MentalHealth #Proudofmyself #Depression #Anxiety #Suicide #improvement