Just like snowflakes ❄️ no two people are the same. Depression affects everyone differently and for a variety of reasons.
Covid has profoundly affected everyone in someway. #Depression #Anxiety #Loss #hopelessness .
Whether you are on medication or not, depression can strike no matter what. Everyone’s form of depression looks different, one person’s depression will enable them to cope with their every day life, while another person’s depression will put that person in the hospital or unable to do everyday tasks.
I myself have experienced a rainbow 🌈 variety of depression experiences. From being hospitalized when I was young due to suicidal thoughts and attempts. Then had a complete breakdown in college, and ran away to another state due to the pressure being to much. I did come back, once I started my meds again.
Then I got married, however quickly found out he was abusive. I craved worked to just get away. I put a smile on everyday even though my insides felt like they were crumbling. Finally I left my husband. However the damage was done I was left with no self worth or confidence.
I met my current husband next and we got engaged right way for my fear of being alone. Three babies later, I’m home all day alone with me struggling. Exhausted, no friends, no time without the babies, running 24/7. My husband only home for dinner,sleep and return to work. This was life.... I ate to feel comfort, I cleaned to have order, I organized everything so I had some control and yet my smile was fake. Day in and day out, on repeat.
There were major events that happened in between that affected my life and my families. I did the depression Merry go round, lay in bed for days with no shower. Not wanting to eat or see daylight. Then eat to much and sit in front of the television. Finally I would shower and leave home for weeks. I did this for two years
I finally came home and decided I needed more help then the meds I occasionally took. I got a counselor, a psychiatrist, case manager and support person along with all new meds. I was determined to get myself back. When I was back, there was never a “normal” . I did however need some sort of semblance of balance in my life, a routine of sorts.
Do I have bad days? Yes of course, I’m human. I also have mental health issues and will not let them define me! I have #Bipolar1Disorder , #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder as well as #Anxiety and #CPTSD . I’ve come to accept that I will have good days, bad days and some days where I hide under my covers. I’m just grateful I’m not running away anymore.
Nothing I ever did made me feel better and made the #empty go away... running away, food, sleeping, avoiding people, fake smiles, hospitalization, working my self to exhaustion and having companionship just because I was afraid to be alone.
This is my depression #No2AreTheSame