Essential Tremor

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BOUNDARIES? sacredsavage/iameveryoneeverywhere

Since the beginning of this year I‘ve faced so many challenges, non-stop, I just cannot deal with any more. I’ve reached my mental, emotional, and physical limit, and tomorrow I’m going to postpone a scheduled procedure for a few more months (colonoscopy) because I just need a break! It will be the 3rd test for cancer I’m having since January and I still am waiting on results from the first 2 separate ones!
I just had 3 mammograms and a 6-punch biopsy. A vein was inadvertently hit, and I am entirely deeply black & blue, and in pain. 2 weeks for results. Long story of misdiagnosis, but I’m finally seeing the correct doctor to determine whether lesions on both sides of my head are cancer as my GP diagnosed. I saw a prominent movement neurologist who said I did NOT have Parkinson’s, (Yay!! Yay!!) but severe Essential Tremor which only focused ultrasound treatments to my brain or microchip implants might help diminish the tremor. (I am not independently wealthy or so inclined.)
But in addition to all the physical stuff is the termination of my relationship with my eldest daughter-she’ll be 45 soon. I just absolutely cannot “reach” her anymore.
My first daughter who I have always cherished & enjoyed began having problems in her teens, especially following my divorce in an acute domestic violence situation where I was forced to take my children & pets and give up their only home because my ex- refused to leave, and he was hurting us all. I found a great fixer-upper right across from the high school, transformed it, always had a houseful of kids, worked hard and had a happy life. Both kids were honor students and active in clubs & sports. Until my eldest dropped her good stand-by friends and began hanging out with troubled kids from other schools, and acting out. Their father’s abuse never ended, but he targeted our eldest and adamantly refused the counseling for her she so desperately needed & deserved. She turned from a sweet, bright, funny talented youngster into a rage filled, viscous, self-sabotaging bully exactly like her father. And has maintained that personality toward all her family since, blaming each of us for her unhappiness and health problems, and being unrelenting, escalating abusive, continually speaking outrageous lies and manipulative accusations that leaves her sibling and I aghast as she’s got increasingly worse over the past 10 years.
Her sibling got married, has a beautiful family, and always tried to include her sister, even’tho she was always abused & shunned. Her sister got counseling, and no longer allows the eldest into her life, although they have met several times at relatives for the children’s sake.
My eldest lives 3-4 hours drive from me. I would do look forward to her coming to visit years ago until she became very belligerent over absolutely nothing, began deliberately provoking “fights” I NEVER wanted to have any part in, objected to anything I said or asked, and got herself so angry & worked-up that she’d leave yelling, screaming, & cursing me at the top of her lungs! I live in a very quiet senior building and I did everything I knew to de-escalate the situation, each time, to no avail. The final visit, a few years ago at Thanksgiving, she suddenly lunged at me from across the living room fists raised, teeth clenched, maniacal eyes…got right up in my face, then backed off. I can never feel safe with her again. I did have a few sessions with the counselors at the local Domestic Violence Center.
So she’s continued this degrading abuse via phone calls over the past several years, blaming me for everything her father did to her, and it’s just broken my heart to hear all her bizarre, hateful, untrue name-calling and bullying. She is “in therapy” with someone online whose credentials are clearly from Walmarts 101, and who has no philosophy whatsoever other than “everything is your parents fault & there’s nothing you can do about it, so rage away making yourself sick, suffering, & staying stuck!” I can’t take any more of her endless incredible hatred. I loved that child and woman with my entire heart her whole life through thick and thin, protected her, encouraged & cheered her on, looked after her when other parents might not have bothered, had fun together…never laid a hand on her. I am gentle and reasonable with discipline that teaches consequences.
But the stress of her calls, constant demeaning without cause, is too much stress for way too long. My glucose levels skyrocket for days from the cortisol and totally mess up my diabetes & blood pressure. I just had a major Arrhythmia episode. I’m having to deal with depression & anxiety & ptsd whereas I’d reached a level of contentment and peace and pain management. She’s slammed the phone down on me once too often. I finally agreed with one of her many threats and while I said I always have and always will love her with my whole heart and soul, I will no longer tolerate her abuse in any form. No more calls or texts…until or unless she can find it in her heart to relate to me with some respect and civility. She then texted me a photo of her and a bunch of friends smiling, laughing, and said “See mom! I’m HAPPY without you! I’m having a great life without you in it!” I had a stillborn baby birth in between these two kids who I mourned over for a long time. I’m going through a great mourning now for my beloved firstborn- we’ve been thru so much together. But I feel a great sense of relief and calm is returning just these past 2 weeks and I know we’re both going to be ok. I’ve prayed for her every day and I’ll never stop. I miss who she was. A huge part of my heart and life is missing.
I’m hopeful about all my test outcomes, too. I threw my own theory into the mix. Instead of 4 or 5 specialists sending me for endless invasive tests, I’ve proposed that all my symptoms are attributable to an allergic reaction to a specific medication I started 10 years ago. I got 2 doctors to agree, so I stopped it last week and now we wait and see! Who knows? Meanwhile, should I just get the d€¥m colonoscopy over with now? Or give myself a couple months break?😵‍💫

#ChronicFatigue I #ChronicPain

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Been here for a while. Struggling still.

I think this is one of the first times I've ever posted on here. I am currently struggling with my anxiety and depression. My anxiety has made it hard for me to be out and about for long before I'm ready to be in the comfort of my home. I'm a recovering alcoholic and addict. Struggling with vaping though I am listening to a good audiobook that seems like it's going to help me with that aspect.
I currently live with my parents until I get back up on my feet. It seems that it's taken longer for that to happen although that's the part of the alcoholic/addict brain, wanting that instant gratification. I am seeing a therapist and trying to get my medications balanced out which seems like they are at the present moment. I'm so thankful for the mighty! I feel like I can relate to a lot of you on here and I'm grateful for that. If anyone ever feels like chatting, just send me a message as I would love to have a larger support group as well as making friends.
I've reached a point in my life where I'm just tired of being around toxic people. All I want is to love myself and develop healthier relationships. I want less drama in my life although sometimes I know that all drama can't be avoided. Okay that's enough for my rambling. Just grateful that I found this place.

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #EssentialTremor #AddictionRecovery #Recovery

134 reactions 29 comments
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Just thought I'd say hello..

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for a good portion of my life. It has made it hard for me to find and keep jobs. I also have essential tremors which makes things hard like writing. Recovering alcoholic and addict. I'm 49 years old and from Georgia.
Obviously new to this group. My anxiety has gotten so where I experience issues with being out of my house and out and about for more than a couple hours. Working on stuff with my therapist. She said I'm not ready to get a job and that I should start volunteering though I'm on disability income and they said that I need to at least find a job with the minimal hours to keep my benefits. I'm currently living with my parents and desperately trying to get back up on my feet though there have been a couple setbacks but fortunately it has nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. I'd love to make friends on here and be able to relate. Nice meeting everyone 🌻 #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #EssentialTremor #Addiction #AlcoholAbuse

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Still trying to quit vaping

I went 24 hours without vaping. I'm a recovering alcoholic and addict like I said many times over. My sponsor told me that I need to take baby steps. I've already told so many people that I'm going to quit for good this time and I guess it's not the best time for me. I know that it affects my depression and anxiety though right now I don't have a lot of stuff to occupy my time and I need to work on that. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I know that time is coming though like I said I need to find more things to do so that it will be easier. I don't feel like a failure because it'll just need to be a goal that I will have to work on with baby steps like my sponsor said. #Addiction #MentalHealth #Depression #ADD #EssentialTremor #Alcoholism

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#Myoclonic jerks and #Essential tremor after minimal physical exertion

Hey all

My Myoclonic jerks started around 12-13, of course I just called them twitches until I know what Myoclonic jerks are

I'm currently 28 and the Myoclonic jerks are progressively becoming more frequent with some being a little more intense than others. I cannot do really any task without a jerk happening. I can have like 4-10 in the space of a minute

The essential tremor is relatively new, only the past 5 years but has significantly got worse. If I am standing for more than 5 minutes or maybe Its a hot day and I am attempting chores, my entire body will be shaking

I had an MRI a few years back with nothing showing apparently but I don't have a Neurology appointment until April 2024 and because I'm undiagnosed I never know where to turn

I have various other health issues too including craniosynostosis and a cervical spine issue also undiagnosed

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Introduction

Hi, I am cgolias120. I have #Epilepsy , #Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1, #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS -C, and #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease I juggle every day. I also have #EssentialTremor . I survived COVID-19 as well. I am looking for support and to share my stories. Many of my problems are nervous system issues, but they also affect my digestion.

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Hi, I'm new here. I'm here because I have been diagnosed with gastroparesis, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Essential Tremor, meralgia paresthetica, and migraine/cluster headaches. #Gastroparesis #TrigeminalNeuralgiaType2 #EssentialTremor #MeralgiaParesthetica #Migraine

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I’m new here!

🇬🇧Hello, my name is Adele. 🙋🏼‍♀️I am here because I regularly post on social media sharing what it’s like living with multiple rare and complex chronic illnesses to raise awareness and to support others. I pride myself on my positivity whilst being honest about the challenges that living with multiple health conditions comes with. I’m not “so positive” because I’m exceptionally brave or anything like that. It is my own personal coping mechanism that I’ve adopted since childhood because most of my conditions are congenital. I’m also here because I am keen to learn and appreciate different writing styles in topics of interest and adopt my own so I can achieve my bucket list and write a self help book for other parents who face similar daily obstacles because of their health. I am excited and honoured to be part of this community.

#MightyTogether #Fibromyalgia #PTSD #RheumatoidArthritis #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #HeartDisease #congenitalheartdefect/Disease #EssentialTremor #Depression #Migraine #Grief

16 reactions 4 comments