exhausted

I stay on my phone sometimes until I pass out from exhaustion. A few times, I do not even remember what happened. I would fall asleep, and my phone would drop to the floor or get lost in the bedsheets.

I cannot believe how much it tears at me sometimes when I can't sleep! Then there are evenings when all I do is pass out! My brain 🧠 goes 100mph or 500+ mph, and other times it's about 10mph in function.

#Insomnia really sucks but #exhaustion really sucks too!

What else can I do?
Just journal, write, and pretend to talk to someone? It gets lonely.

#Insomnia
#Anxiety
#PanicAttack
#exhausted

I'm exhausted and tired of thinking of what to do. My resources are limited but something inside keeps wanting to figure out the impossible and it's exhausting

#helplessness
#exhausted
#monday
#CheckInWithMe

#exhausted

#exhausted #Depression #Anxiety #Speechless

Today is one of those days. You know the kind. The kind where no matter what people say, look, do cheering up is just not happening. Short of someone telling me, I won the lottery. My total take home amount after taxes is 1 billion dollars, yeah, cheering up is not in the cards. I am not sure how many others are out there who have these days. These days you feel trapped. Since my divorce, I have no car, and no official income. I live with my retired parents and unemployed brother.(I am not sure why he doesn't even try to get a job but I am sure something is wrong with his spirit. He has mental issues of his own too. So, I try to cut him some slack.) I've been applying for menial jobs just to have some stream of income, with absolutely no success. Sure, I am halfway through a data analytics course. I have been working on this for 3 months. However, that brings in no income. On days like this I feel like I have climbed halfway up the depression hole, only to discover I am still at the bottom. All of the climbing you did yesterday was around the hole, not upwards. Also, by the way, the hole gets deeper every day. On days like this, my 100 square foot room feels like a glorified prison. I know I need to cry. I know I feel like this because I am exhausted and weary of the daily wear and tear life puts on us but there is no way to activate the catharsis because I officially have no one who "gets it". I have no one who gets me. I just want someone to give me a call, tell me, "Let's go have some fun. Don't worry I will pay." I want to get you out of the house. I want to get you away from the oppressive life you live with older Christian puritanical judgmental parents and family on watch, an annoying brother who will not get off the couch and bleeding clipped wings that long to escape this mind and body. Yeah, it's one of those days you have to wait it out.

#Depression #depressed #lonely #hopeless #MentalHealth #exhausted #weary #stuck #prison #catharsis #Isolation #Judgement #Escape #Needabreak #Fun #betterdays #Divorced #single #unemployed #noincome #livingwithparents #careerchange #financialstress#waitingforbetterdays