exhausted

Saw my pain management provider this morning.
My last procedure didn't help me.
She's going to talk with the surgeon and see if there is anything else they try, but she didn't seem very confident, almost to the point of being sad as she talked.
She's also leaving her position at the pain management department at the hospital,.
and going to a different position .
Hope is gone.
Wishes are gone.
Happiness is gone.
I'm almost gone.
Nobody should have to live like this.
Thank you for the kind words you've said to me.
I can't fight anymore, I give in.
My nightmare is ending.

Anyone else just get so unhappy with how your life has turned out, but you feel powerless to change it? Then you’re sitting there crying thinking to yourself that this can’t be my fucking life. There was supposed to be more than this. It’s supposed to be better than this. I’m supposed to be happy. Not miserable. #quarterlifecrisis #exhausted

I have days where I can't wake up or function. Especially when the weather is all over the place. Well I've missed some work with FMLA protection because of the exhaustion. My wife has had it. She refuses to try and understand. It's been 15 years of this disease and I think she has finally had enough of me and it. To bad I can't walk away from the fibromyalgia too. Just lost and alone. 25 years together. Just need some advise. Some support.

Guys, I'm really struggling at the moment. Every single day of my life, I'm in pain. I've accepted it as a fact of my life. But a few weeks ago I randomly injured a muscle in my lower back that has been locked/cramped up ever since, and is pretty much crushing my sciatic nerve. I'm getting such painful burning-aching sensations CONSTANTLY. There is no reprieve.

I can't get comfy when I'm sitting, and I'm barely sleeping at night. My doctor has examined me and she's pretty sure it's my sciatic nerve that's been pinched and that I need the appointment for physio. But the earliest they could fit me in was 23rd October - 10 days away! My doctor has prescribed a course of diazepam (valium) to help ease the muscle and try and abate the muscle spasming around the nerve. Which works to an extend but I really can't do much. I can't lift anything heavy, etc.

I am truly miserable right now. And I have been for the last two weeks since the injury. It just doesn't stop... My nephew came over on Wednesday and I couldn't play with him the usual way I do - chasing him about, lifting him up and bouncing him. And he just kept coming and cuddling my leg, raised his arms at me and said; "Up!" It broke my heart when I said no. He walked off with his head hung down and his bottom lip poking out.

Since the injury, I've eaten a LOT of junk food. I just cannot stop, and I don't really care all that much. I know I'm comfort eating (I used to do this a lot in the past), and I know it's not good for me. I'm just finding it really hard to give a crap about it.

What should I do? I'm so close to tears... I need a nice long, tight hug/cuddle. It's so hard to keep going.

#POTS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #FattyLiverDisease #NAFLD #Diabetes #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #InterstitialCystitis #ChronicPain #sciatica #BackPain #exhausted #mentallyexhausted #feelingdefeated #chronicillnesswarrior #Advice