Sometimes I don't want to be brave, or strong, a warrior or a survivor.
Sometimes I just want to be...not me, not someone else, just be.
Part of nothing and part of everything, wrapped in my own cocoon.
I have an amazing therapist. Do i like what she has to say all of the time? Absolutely not. Thats only part of what makes her great because shes honestand understands me really well. Thats incredibly important when seeking a therapist. Thats also why, although i dont want to do this, I'm still honoring her request for me to #Justbe with my thoughts and feelings. So, without further adieu, here we go...
All i can truly think about right now is how i have ao much to work on. I know that everything happens in due time. However, just like any other human, i too experience irrational impatience. Imagine for me if you will that you know how to cook. You have done it before and and know every step. You can even walk someone else through the process of the recepie, but when you step into the kitchen, the only ingredients you have for dinner are half a pound of corn starch, pepper, and a banana. ....the hell are you supposed to do with that?
Thats how i feel. #ifeel like i have the knowledge, but the lemons life gave me are really killing the #vibes that i know i should be able to roll with. I know thats a lot of #Pressure to put on yourself. #iknow . It still doesnt stop being #frustrating .
when you feel like youre stuck in a box with the best and worst versions of yourself and they are having their own personal fight club?
I’m being a bitch on my birthday. My wife is trying to come up with things to do—no no no. I hate myself for being so mean. Nothing sounds appealing; it’s not her fault.
I’m feeling distant. Angry.
I’m turning 29, tomorrow.
I feel like I survived. Sparkling energy today; feel exhausted already. I woke up at noon.
My pup is laying on my lap, and my wife wants to get me coffee. You just have to get through the day sometimes. One day, and the next...