A day to recharge- but why do I feel guilty?
Today I spent the day in bed. Didn’t talk much on the phone. Scrolled through emails, and desperately searched the internet for some info on why it’s ok to stay in bed the entire day. I didn’t find much about it, I found many things talking about why people stay in bed and it seems they are normally depressed. Although I do suffer from extreme anxiety and depression, I don’t think that’s it. Not today anyway. There has been many a day where I spent days in bed when my son was with his dad just because I didn’t feel like being part of the world. But now I do it probably once a week. I feel like I need it. I work a lot. I have a studio and I also work from home whenever I can. I am single mom to an 11 year old boy which is exhausting in itself. I’ve had insomnia for the last 20 years and although I take meds, I can’t remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed. So once a week, if my schedule allows for it- I stay in bed. Some weeks and not often I stay in bed 2 days. And then there are weeks that I don’t at all.
I feel like I need to recharge and this is the only way my body can keep going- mentally and physically. I’ve spoken at length about it to my therapist over the last few years and she said some people work out, some people do drugs. Others lay in bed or sleep to recharge. But why do I feel like a useless, lazy piece of trash?! Anyone else? #sleepallday #recharge #Depression #Anxiety #Lazy #recharge