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The holiday season is upon us…does it make you feel joyful and happy? Or does it make you sad and depressed? It stirs up a lot for me….how about you?

Are you really looking forward to seeing family and friends? or Do you dread being alone? Do you love hearing Christmas songs on the radio or at the mall? or Do you just wish it would be 2024 already? For me it makes me feel a mixture of these…each year I go down to see my mom and family for Chanukah which created social anxiety for me this year but eventually I settled in and enjoyed the company and connections which was nice, then since I came back home at times I have felt sad, lonely and isolated! I celebrated Hanukkah weeks ago and In the past I have felt like so many others are being festive and celebrating Christmas with a decorated house, sparkling tree, and presents for all…without me …especially when I was younger! What are you looking forward to doing this weekend? I send you all blessings for a festive, joyful and special time!

#ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #physicalpain #PeripheralNeuropathy #BackPain #Migraine #Headache #COVID19 #covidlonghaul #Disability #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1 #Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #PTSD #PainAcceptance #Acceptance #Happiness #Selflove #Selfcare #MightyMinute #MightyTogether #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #MentalHealthHero

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Feels like the emotional pain of 30+ years turns into physical pain.
I hate days like today when evrything seems too much. Doing nothing makes my head spin around. All the worries and lies shout at me.......

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I am trying really hard to cope with all the emotions, emotional/physical pain, and flashbacks. The past two weeks have been hell on wheels. I'm trying so hard to push myself. I have a lot going for me and it would be pointless to give up, even though I have days where I want to. I'm trying my best and asking for words of motivation! Thank you, guys. #BulimiaNervosa #Suicide #Trying #physicalpain

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Comparing our journeys to others can weigh on us & lead to self judgement & shame. My journey is unique & I need to remind myself I’m doing just fine!

It is so easy for me to beat myself up because I feel I’m not accomplishing enough…and thinking other people with the same diagnosis seem to be much more productive and successful. But many friends and family members regularly remind me that just staying alive, dealing with my pain and taking care of myself is a victory. I have learned that it never helps for me to compare myself with people who seem to be capable of doing more…because this just brings on very strong, almost debilitating shame & self judgement and leaves me feeling emotional pain that just adds to the physical pain I already have!

So I try to always remind myself that I am doing just fine dealing with the hardships I face and I am practicing great self care to love myself exactly as I am… and accept that I am unique & different and I’m doing the best I can. It leaves more room to accomplish things that are within the limitations I have due to physical pain!

I send you all blessings for moments of peace, serenity & less pain, and good health & healing!

#ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #physicalpain #PeripheralNeuropathy #BackPain #neckpain #Migraine #ChronicVestibularMigraine #ChronicDailyHeadache #Headache #COVID19 #covidlonghaul #Disability #SocialAnxiety #Anxiety #Depression #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #PTSD #PainAcceptance #Acceptance #Happiness #Selflove #Selfcare #relief #EmotionalHealth #physicalhealth

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I drew this last year because I suffer from Gastroparesis

My drawing of my paralyzed stomach Also known as “Gastroparesis”….I drew this last year because it was the only visual way of describing just how bad it is to suffer from having a paralyzed stomach that’s not ever going to work right for the rest of my life….My stomach has to rely on a surgical inplantation device called a Gastric Pacemaker that sends electrical signals to my stomach to remind it to digest solid food….To live with this everyday is a struggle but over the last few years, I have learned to accept it for what it is & live the most of life that I can, on top of suffering from mental illness….This saying alone is so very true….So many of us has an invisible illness that no one can see with their own eyes, nor understand what it’s like to suffer with it, unless they themselves have suffered with it or are suffering from it…So no matter what invisible illness you may be suffering from, big or small, try to live life to the best of your ability & just try to enjoy the small moments in life because we only get one life & one chance to do it right….As the saying goes..”Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

#Gastroparesis #InvisibleIllness #physicalpain #mentalpain #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #SocialAnxiety #Anxiety #Paranoia #IRefuseToGiveUp #IRefuseToAllowMyDiagnosisToDefineMe #Lifeishard #YouAreASurvivor #ThatShouldCountForSomething


Peace was never an option.

Been anxious most of the time and not feeling of doing anything even some simple tasks, getting out of bed, eating and a lot of things. Having difficulty sleeping, totally restless since this year started. 😶

I’ve been trying meditation, positive self talk, manifest positive energy and all but seems like it’s not working at all. Maybe because I am trying so hard to avoid this pain. I have been dealing with this pain for quite a while and I feel like I shouldn’t deal with it anymore because it’s been too long and I shouldn’t be feeling this anymore. I thought this new year is the time to just move on. Perhaps the time has not come yet and I shouldn’t rush the healing process.
Or maybe I just don’t want to move on? Idk. 🥲
Just dealing with a lot of things. It’s physically and emotionally exhausting and feeling like I’m at the edge of a cliff. #Anxiety #emotionalpain #physicalpain #emotionaldistress

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Wide awake in agony first time in months

I'm experiencing a lot of pain in my hip where I have two big screws and a metal rod in my femur.

I've been onto the NHS 24 and my GP is to call me urgently in the morning (well, it is morning so when they open in 4.5 hours).

I've been doing my best to calm myself, use topical treatment as I need to discuss my medication to be changed, meditate to try and chill out, watching comedy, using heat pads on the hip etc. Just trying to be as comfortable as possible for another few hours.

I bought some new things off Amazon as a result. A new orthopaedic side sleeper cushion, a compression belt and a hot/cold pack that can be wrapped around the area and worn. I'm rather excited about these things.

Right now I'm just so sore. I've requested my GP see me to examine the hip as it's really tender. Let's hope she agrees.

#Disability #MobilityAids #physicalpain #Pain #ChronicPain #medical #Hospital #Trauma


I am miserable

I’m just exhausted. I don’t just feel like I can’t get anything done I really don’t. It’s really threatening my relationships and accomplishments.
I’m buried alive but I don’t know why and how to get out of the chain of days and days and days of anxiety and depression.
#Depression #Anxiety #physicalpain #Selfharm #Fear #Pain #trustissues