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Would you ever?
As I continue on this journey I see things that my other self wanted me to forget. The Mother Me said she would have come to get me when I called. That scared 8 year old girl who’s own mother unknowingly (that’s debatable though) sent her on a “Daddy daughter” date with her abuser. And he was so highly intoxicated that she was permitted by restaurant staff to use their house phone to call her home. Home. Let me rephrase that. The place where you resided with “adults”. Where mother answered and said that there was no other way for that little girl to get home. And surely he couldn’t be THAT bad off mother added. Well he was that bad and the scared little girl rode home a treacherous 15 minute journey back to the residence. Abuser didn’t care that he had almost had 4 head on collisions with the little girl in the vehicle and he became angry when she told her mother what a terrible time she had. Mother never spoke of it again. And neither did Mother Me. The reason for my title, if YOU my dear friends were mother, what would you have done? Would you have picked up your child? Is that… abuse? I never felt I could answer this for myself. And I seek opinions, nice ones only.
Until just yesterday when my 9 year old son asked me what was the scariest time I remembered from around his age. I didn’t tell him all of it, but just enough for him to look at me so sadly and say, “I’m sorry Mommy”. Those words were the words Mother Me and Little Girl had never heard until they both did thanks to him. I didn’t know that having children could help me love my Little Girl and for her to love herself the way no one else did. Mother Me is so proud of me too and she is willing to let me do what I need to do now. I know with this will also come more memories and things that she will need me to be strong for. I want to be strong for me, my kids and the light inside that drives me forward now because I can answer my own question; I would have called 911. I would have called a friend or family or whatever I would have had to do to protect my child. Period. End of story. I hope this helps someone and I appreciate the help in return. #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #ChildAbuse #DID #MultiplePersonalityDisorder #CPTSD #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Survivor
