National Suicide Prevention Week

I have faced lifelong depression and mixed episode mood swings. My first husband of 10 years successfully took his life during our wonderful marriage. I have experienced extreme trauma as a young person. The past 5 years, I have been in therapy 2 x a week. It has not always been easy, but gradually I have gained the ability to ride out my emotional storms and get back to my new normal of being happy and content in my life. Seven years ago, my normal did not include much contentment despite being extremely affluent, being able to travel the world and have anything I wanted. September 4-10, 2022 is National Suicide Prevention week. I am writing this ahead to share that week. I want to encourage anyone experiencing chronic pain (like my first husband did), depression, mental health challenges, an abusive relationship or any other problems that I’ve experienced the effects of- including my own struggle with suicidal ideation-to reach out for help. My cardiologist talked me into going to therapy and it has changed my life! I especially encourage anyone struggling with the thoughts of taking their life to know, no matter how bad it seems, situations and feelings will pass. Help is available among friends, doctors, therapists etc. Just reach out to SOMEONE. You are NOT ALONE. #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Suicide #Depression #ChronicPain

It’s often in our darkest moments, those moments when you are the giver or the taker. That moment you know you can not stand to watch the down fall of someone you admire. Someone you cherish, or someone you want to be there for. But you also know outcomes are positive and negative in their reinforcement for those involved. To the complex world of our human behavior we thrust our hearts,minds, and often our souls only to realize the learning curve of good mental health! To all of you who are in this amazing group titled DepressionSavingOurselves I say let’s just punch that pain away, take today by the freakin hand and yell “It’s my way, It’s this way, I am of great worth to so many. You will not break me today, tomorrow, matter of fact NEVER!” But know as I can tell you I know all to well, is that this needs to be at the most darkest of moments. And with that I tell you PUNCH on and know I love and care for everyone of you, of all who search for a hand. I try as do we all to be true in this group for the hope of saving OURSELVES and I am here to help you do that the best I can!!!! May we all last the ten rounds. May you all be happy and amazing ALWAYS!!!! #BipolarDepression #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #ChronicIllness #BeStrong #EmbraceYou #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Selflove

It’s often in our darkest moments, those moments when you are the giver or the taker. That moment you know you can not stand to watch the down fall of someone you admire. Someone you cherish, or someone you want to be there for. But you also know outcomes are positive and negative in their reinforcement for those involved. To the complex world of our human behavior we thrust our hearts,minds, and often our souls only to realize the learning curve of good mental health! To all of you who are in this amazing group titled DepressionSavingOurselves I say let’s just punch that pain away, take today by the freakin hand and yell “It’s my way, It’s this way, I am of great worth to so many. You will not break me today, tomorrow, matter of fact NEVER!” But know as I can tell you I know all to well, is that this needs to be at the most darkest of moments. And with that I tell you PUNCH on and know I love and care for everyone of you, of all who search for a hand. I try as do we all to be true in this group for the hope of saving OURSELVES and I am here to help you do that the best I can!!!! May we all last the ten rounds. May you all be happy and amazing ALWAYS!!!! #BipolarDepression #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #ChronicIllness #BeStrong #EmbraceYou #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Selflove

It’s often in our darkest moments, those moments when you are the giver or the taker. That moment you know you can not stand to watch the down fall of someone you admire. Someone you cherish, or someone you want to be there for. But you also know outcomes are positive and negative in their reinforcement for those involved. To the complex world of our human behavior we thrust our hearts,minds, and often our souls only to realize the learning curve of good mental health! To all of you who are in this amazing group titled DepressionSavingOurselves I say let’s just punch that pain away, take today by the freakin hand and yell “It’s my way, It’s this way, I am of great worth to so many. You will not break me today, tomorrow, matter of fact NEVER!” But know as I can tell you I know all to well, is that this needs to be at the most darkest of moments. And with that I tell you PUNCH on and know I love and care for everyone of you, of all who search for a hand. I try as do we all to be true in this group for the hope of saving OURSELVES and I am here to help you do that the best I can!!!! May we all last the ten rounds. May you all be happy and amazing ALWAYS!!!! #BipolarDepression #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #ChronicIllness #BeStrong #EmbraceYou #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Selflove

In honor of those who struggle with suicide or suicidal thoughts I want to tell you my story.

I have early onset Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and ADHD. I've been struggling with it my whole life. But I did have my time with a suicide attempt, several actually.

I have always had an abusive relationship with my #narcissist and alcoholic father. When I was 13 I tried haphazardly to hang myself with my childhood blanket in my closet. I did so because I felt like I had no way out. By the grace of god the blanket snapped. When I was 20, I was doing something you should never do and I almost accidentally killed myself with my pistol due to a horrible error of not checking if it's loaded, I was probably .01 of a pound from it going off. Then the final time when I was 21 I went to a shooting range, rented a handgun, and as quickly as I could I loaded one round into the chamber then armed it to fire.

If it were not for the range master checking and literally getting super close to me I probably would've done it there. If it were not for my conscious to kick in I would've blown my head off in my apartment.

If it were not for the rope snapping when I was 13, I wouldnt be here to tell all you good people this story.

I bite the bullet almost everyday, but I've become stronger in my mind and in my mental health.

Now in the present:
I am a licensed solo skydiver with 95 jumps. I got to see my oldest Nephew get accepted into Harvard, I got to see my new niece and nephew born in the hospital, I got to see my mom smile at me whenever I accomplish something. I get to tell people to NOT GIVE IN TO THE WAR WITHIN and offer my ears should they need it. I've been to London, UK and it changed my life (afternoon my fellow Brits). I've gotten to meet my extended British family there. I've helped my friend grieve over the death of his father from melanoma when no one else was reaching out to him. I got to see and take care of my new defibrillators, my dogs, Gizmo and Luna. I got hired as a full time IT intern at a Fortune 300 company.

I'm crying writing this as I sit on the factor that if I actually went through with it, and gave into the temporary feeling of gloom and doom, I would not be here right now to tell you DON'T DO IT. Don't kill yourself. You have an entire life ahead of you. Don't fret over things that you can used CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to trick your brain into diminishing, seek help should you feel a deep desire to do it.

Be the light in the dark.

You are the best and the only version of you, no one else is like you. You are amazing. You are wonderful. Don't pay attention to those who are not Neurodiverse and mock or manipulate your mental health issues, cut them off. You are loved. You are loved. You are loved. I said that three times because I forget that sometimes.

My friends, be strong, keep your head high, and stay mighty you will get through it. It will be OK. You will persevere. You got this.