National Suicide Prevention Week

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National Suicide Prevention Week
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    For those struggling with suicidal thoughts: what helps you during hard times? #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Suicide #SuicideAwareness #SuicidePrevention

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    National Suicide Prevention week September 4-10 on my mind #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Suicide #Depression #ChronicPain

    I have faced lifelong depression and mixed episode mood swings. My first husband of 10 years successfully took his life during our wonderful marriage. I have experienced extreme trauma as a young person. The past 5 years, I have been in therapy 2 x a week. It has not always been easy, but gradually I have gained the ability to ride out my emotional storms and get back to my new normal of being happy and content in my life. Seven years ago, my normal did not include much contentment despite being extremely affluent, being able to travel the world and have anything I wanted. September 4-10, 2022 is National Suicide Prevention week. I am writing this ahead to share that week. I want to encourage anyone experiencing chronic pain (like my first husband did), depression, mental health challenges, an abusive relationship or any other problems that I’ve experienced the effects of- including my own struggle with suicidal ideation-to reach out for help. My cardiologist talked me into going to therapy and it has changed my life! I especially encourage anyone struggling with the thoughts of taking their life to know, no matter how bad it seems, situations and feelings will pass. Help is available among friends, doctors, therapists etc. Just reach out to SOMEONE. You are NOT ALONE. #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Suicide #Depression #ChronicPain

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    Letter to my brother

    This is a letter I wrote to my brother after he had passed. I gave this to him before he was buried.

    “I am going to miss you so much. I’m going to miss our weekly phone calls after work. It was something I would look forward to because I couldn’t wait to tell you something or talk about our favorite tv show or a new movie. I’m going to miss laughing with you and being a complete weirdo. Not a lot of people got to see that side of me but you were the very first. You made me feel loved. There is no doubt in my mind or heart that you loved me. I felt it all the time. I am so hurt and heartbroken by your choice to take your life. But I want you to know that I forgive you. I blame depression, heartbreak, and pain. I know that you were going through hell. I know my true authentic brother wouldn’t want to leave us behind. You truly are a good person. I’m often thinking that you are a better person than me. The many relationships you have maintained since you were a little boy, to the kindness you show to a stranger is so much more than I could ever do. I wish you could have seen yourself through everyone’s eyes. You were, are, and will always be loved by many. I really don’t know how I’m going to continue life without you and it hurts so bad imagining you not in it, but I know that life does have to go on and I will try so hard to keep going. We have to keep pushing and living for you. I know that you want us to keep living and I know you don’t want us to hurt - it wasn’t your intention to hurt us. I just hope that some day I will be able to receive peace. Peace for the loss of your life and peace for how you took it. I know that your suicide, suicide attempts, and those last 3 weeks will haunt me for a long time to come, but I hope to have peace some day. I cry as I’m writing this letter because this is something I never wanted to do. I never wanted it to come to this. I know you told me that the pain I would feel when your gone is exactly how you are feeling, and at the time it made me angry and I’m not going to lie I still don’t like it, but I now i understand… and I’m so sad you couldn’t pull out of that darkness. I fought so hard for you and I did everything I knew to do to help you. I knew deep, deep down that you would eventually take your life but it’s still hard to accept… I just want you to know that you were truly the best big brother and I loved you SO much more than any words can describe. I hope you will be able the hear these words from my heart and I hope that someday you will be able to show yourself to me. Show me that you are still with me, I need a sign - maybe show me you a close by giving me goosebumps or as something I can physically see. You can choose. I miss you so much!!! I love you. I can’t wait to hug you and laugh with you again some day. I will be writing you often, so this is not the last time you hear from me - I hope you will be able to hear my words and feel my love in heaven. May you Rest In Peace sweet Brother. “

    #Depression #SiblingLoss #Mourning #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Death

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    Lost brother

    Last week I lost my brother to suicide. He made his first attempt a little over 3 weeks ago. In the 3 weeks following he attempted 2 more times before his final attempt, which took his life. Me and my family did what we thought we could do. We supported him emotionally, financially, and offered resources. He was heartbroken and lost. He lacked any sort of self love. As his sister he confided in me during those 3 weeks. He told me his deepest darkest secrets and told me how he thought he was a terrible person. It was so hard on me at the time. I tried my hardest to reinforce positive thoughts and told him how much I loved him along with others. It was not enough. Last week he took his own life. This is the hardest thing myself and my family has to endure. I know that he was hurting beyond my own comprehension but it doesn’t take my own hurt away. If anyone has gone through a loss like this I would greatly appreciate a kind word or advice during this time. Thank you. #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #OurSideOfSuicide #SuicideLossSurvivor

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    Just face it like a warrior!!

    It’s often in our darkest moments, those moments when you are the giver or the taker. That moment you know you can not stand to watch the down fall of someone you admire. Someone you cherish, or someone you want to be there for. But you also know outcomes are positive and negative in their reinforcement for those involved. To the complex world of our human behavior we thrust our hearts,minds, and often our souls only to realize the learning curve of good mental health! To all of you who are in this amazing group titled DepressionSavingOurselves I say let’s just punch that pain away, take today by the freakin hand and yell “It’s my way, It’s this way, I am of great worth to so many. You will not break me today, tomorrow, matter of fact NEVER!” But know as I can tell you I know all to well, is that this needs to be at the most darkest of moments. And with that I tell you PUNCH on and know I love and care for everyone of you, of all who search for a hand. I try as do we all to be true in this group for the hope of saving OURSELVES and I am here to help you do that the best I can!!!! May we all last the ten rounds. May you all be happy and amazing ALWAYS!!!! #BipolarDepression #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #ChronicIllness #BeStrong #EmbraceYou #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Selflove

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    Just face it like a warrior!!

    It’s often in our darkest moments, those moments when you are the giver or the taker. That moment you know you can not stand to watch the down fall of someone you admire. Someone you cherish, or someone you want to be there for. But you also know outcomes are positive and negative in their reinforcement for those involved. To the complex world of our human behavior we thrust our hearts,minds, and often our souls only to realize the learning curve of good mental health! To all of you who are in this amazing group titled DepressionSavingOurselves I say let’s just punch that pain away, take today by the freakin hand and yell “It’s my way, It’s this way, I am of great worth to so many. You will not break me today, tomorrow, matter of fact NEVER!” But know as I can tell you I know all to well, is that this needs to be at the most darkest of moments. And with that I tell you PUNCH on and know I love and care for everyone of you, of all who search for a hand. I try as do we all to be true in this group for the hope of saving OURSELVES and I am here to help you do that the best I can!!!! May we all last the ten rounds. May you all be happy and amazing ALWAYS!!!! #BipolarDepression #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #ChronicIllness #BeStrong #EmbraceYou #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Selflove

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    See full photo

    Just face it like a warrior!!

    It’s often in our darkest moments, those moments when you are the giver or the taker. That moment you know you can not stand to watch the down fall of someone you admire. Someone you cherish, or someone you want to be there for. But you also know outcomes are positive and negative in their reinforcement for those involved. To the complex world of our human behavior we thrust our hearts,minds, and often our souls only to realize the learning curve of good mental health! To all of you who are in this amazing group titled DepressionSavingOurselves I say let’s just punch that pain away, take today by the freakin hand and yell “It’s my way, It’s this way, I am of great worth to so many. You will not break me today, tomorrow, matter of fact NEVER!” But know as I can tell you I know all to well, is that this needs to be at the most darkest of moments. And with that I tell you PUNCH on and know I love and care for everyone of you, of all who search for a hand. I try as do we all to be true in this group for the hope of saving OURSELVES and I am here to help you do that the best I can!!!! May we all last the ten rounds. May you all be happy and amazing ALWAYS!!!! #BipolarDepression #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #ChronicIllness #BeStrong #EmbraceYou #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #Selflove

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    October is Suicide Prevention Month

    What can we do to prevent suicide? For starters, we can all start talking about it.
    Resources on nami.com
    #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #ChronicDepression #Suicide survivor #mental health

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    I'm So Happy I Didn't Do It #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #BipolarDisorder #ADHD #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety

    In honor of those who struggle with suicide or suicidal thoughts I want to tell you my story.

    I have early onset Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and ADHD. I've been struggling with it my whole life. But I did have my time with a suicide attempt, several actually.

    I have always had an abusive relationship with my #narcissist and alcoholic father. When I was 13 I tried haphazardly to hang myself with my childhood blanket in my closet. I did so because I felt like I had no way out. By the grace of god the blanket snapped. When I was 20, I was doing something you should never do and I almost accidentally killed myself with my pistol due to a horrible error of not checking if it's loaded, I was probably .01 of a pound from it going off. Then the final time when I was 21 I went to a shooting range, rented a handgun, and as quickly as I could I loaded one round into the chamber then armed it to fire.

    If it were not for the range master checking and literally getting super close to me I probably would've done it there. If it were not for my conscious to kick in I would've blown my head off in my apartment.

    If it were not for the rope snapping when I was 13, I wouldnt be here to tell all you good people this story.

    I bite the bullet almost everyday, but I've become stronger in my mind and in my mental health.

    Now in the present:
    I am a licensed solo skydiver with 95 jumps. I got to see my oldest Nephew get accepted into Harvard, I got to see my new niece and nephew born in the hospital, I got to see my mom smile at me whenever I accomplish something. I get to tell people to NOT GIVE IN TO THE WAR WITHIN and offer my ears should they need it. I've been to London, UK and it changed my life (afternoon my fellow Brits). I've gotten to meet my extended British family there. I've helped my friend grieve over the death of his father from melanoma when no one else was reaching out to him. I got to see and take care of my new defibrillators, my dogs, Gizmo and Luna. I got hired as a full time IT intern at a Fortune 300 company.

    I'm crying writing this as I sit on the factor that if I actually went through with it, and gave into the temporary feeling of gloom and doom, I would not be here right now to tell you DON'T DO IT. Don't kill yourself. You have an entire life ahead of you. Don't fret over things that you can used CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to trick your brain into diminishing, seek help should you feel a deep desire to do it.

    Be the light in the dark.

    You are the best and the only version of you, no one else is like you. You are amazing. You are wonderful. Don't pay attention to those who are not Neurodiverse and mock or manipulate your mental health issues, cut them off. You are loved. You are loved. You are loved. I said that three times because I forget that sometimes.

    My friends, be strong, keep your head high, and stay mighty you will get through it. It will be OK. You will persevere. You got this.

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    #IfYouFeelHopeless Sometimes you just need to hear this... #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #encouragement

    ;This is your life today NOT the rest of your life.
    ;Tough situations never last, tough people do.
    ;You can't breakdown what can't be broken.