I’ve only been in this DBT-IOP class for 3 days, and I’m learning that it’s exactly the kind of class that I couldn’t have handled before.
For some reason, I have more hope and self-confidence than I have in years, after hitting rock-freaking-bottom at the beginning of the year.
In the past, I lived in fear of someone telling me I had to *do* something to get better, because I was so burned out and overwhelmed, the very concept of adding one more thing to my “to-do list” was enough to send me into a panic.
To be honest, I’ve gotten much better at getting things done, lately, because I made the decision this summer that I have to make a change and get better, for my kids. However, being motivated to get up and accomplish something is still somewhat of a challenge for me, but especially when I’m in pain.
Today, the IOP therapist said, “I know you’re going to hate me for this, and you can yell and scream and rant, if you need to, but truthfully the best response to a lack of motivation is the opposite action, like the Nike slogan: Just do it.” 🤨
The strangest thing was that I didn’t feel panicked. I didn’t yell or scream, as she’d allowed for; I just accepted it for what it is. I’m certain it will be a struggle for me for quite a while, if not always, but the only way to fight this bull (or at least bull-headed stubbornness!), is to take it by the horns and show it who’s boss. Here’s what shocks me the most: I actually am starting to believe that maybe I actually *CAN*! 🤔
This small beginning of self-confidence is *HUGE* for me! I’m so used to being afraid to try, and certain that I would fail, creating my own self-fulfilling prophecy. 😒
Can I magically become Super Woman overnight, and tomorrow have my house spotless, like a 50s housewife. Psh! Heck, no! I know better than to expect that....by now, anyway....😅
However, I can continue making strides, by living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, and evaluating each moment of action or inaction to decide if it’s the appropriate response to the current situation.
It doesn’t mean that I was/am lazy. It simply means that other aspects of my mental health needed to be addressed before I could take the tools DBT teaches and use them wisely, to succeed, heal, and grow. Now, I have HOPE.