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#distraction #OppositeAction #Selfcare #BPD #struggle #Lifeishard #robin #Art #hobbies #Christmas #stressful #DBT

So haven’t been on here for a long time but found it really helpful last time. Currently doing dbt and struggling to use my skills I have learnt already. Gave in to self harm a few times the last couple of weeks. My partner and kids have been unwell and still are so I have had no time to myself and everything is getting on top of me. Trying to be positive today but I really just want to give up. Put some washing on, went to see my mum who is also poorly, made a pasta sauce and got my drawing pad out. Couldn’t think what to draw so decided on a robin, my favourite bird. Yet to see one in my garden they always give me a sence of peace when I do and I feel like I’m getting a sign from a loved one who is no longer here. I really need hobbies or art ideas they would be much appreciated. My life is ruled by being a mum and I have no sence of who I am. I literally just spend each day just struggling to get through to the next one. I really neee a purpose.

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Taking Action Towards Wellness

I’m terrible about taking care of my body. I eat like crap. I don’t exercise. My sleep pattern sucks. Then, I wonder why my mind and body hate me so much! 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄😒 Of course, I have about a million excuses, primarily my #ADHD , #EmotionalEating , #MajorDepressiveDisorder , and #Fibromyalgia . It’s valid: those things make it extremely difficult to find the willpower to follow through. I know I’m not alone in that. I also know that my eating, while it doesn’t necessarily *cause* all those problems, absolutely *contributes* to them. If I want to get better, if I want my mind and body to be well, then I need to practice some #OppositeAction and change my habits, even though it will be extremely difficult and frustrating. I know in advance that I won’t be perfect at it, and I’m holding space for that. I’m NOT perfect, and shouldn’t EXPECT perfection from myself, anymore than I expect it from others.

So, I made a couple signs for myself, as reminders of my new-ish rules for eating. The sign that’s pictured has some rules based on the Juice Plus+ Shred10 program, but slightly altered to accommodate my own lifestyle. (Ie: minimal, rather than “no” caffeine and processed foods. I don’t think all “processed foods” are bad, you just have to be wise about label reading, and chocolate technically has caffeine, and I’m NOT giving up chocolate!!😱)

The other sign has suggestions of things to do, when I get the munchies: drink 2 cups of water, exercise for 5 mins (because that’s honestly about as long as I can currently do), get some sunshine, do something crafty, read my Bible, pray a gratitude prayer, memorize a Bible verse, hug/tickle a kid, etc.

It’s really hard, because my family’s eating habit revolves around processed foods, in large part because of sensory challenges, and because I don’t have teeth to chew tough things, like nuts, raw vegetables, whole meats, etc. I just got dentures, so I’m trying, but it’s hard to get used to and painful. I mostly rely on smoothies.

Anyway, screw New Years resolutions that never get kept. I’m doing this for me, for the long haul, because I need it, and my family needs ME.

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What’s your #selfcare , today?

My self care for this morning:
• Juice Plus+ gummies: nutrients
• Mini chocolate chips: chocolate
• Pretzels: crunch and salt
• Christmas clothes: mood boost!

Now, to finish my mid-morning snack, take some pain medicine, and get busy cleaning. Hopefully the pain will stay mild enough so I can get stuff done!

(For the record, I could totally fall asleep, right now, and *really* don’t want to drag my butt up to get stuff done! #OppositeAction )

What will you do for self care, today?



“Just Do It” #DBT #Motivation #OppositeAction

I’ve only been in this DBT-IOP class for 3 days, and I’m learning that it’s exactly the kind of class that I couldn’t have handled before.

For some reason, I have more hope and self-confidence than I have in years, after hitting rock-freaking-bottom at the beginning of the year.

In the past, I lived in fear of someone telling me I had to *do* something to get better, because I was so burned out and overwhelmed, the very concept of adding one more thing to my “to-do list” was enough to send me into a panic.

To be honest, I’ve gotten much better at getting things done, lately, because I made the decision this summer that I have to make a change and get better, for my kids. However, being motivated to get up and accomplish something is still somewhat of a challenge for me, but especially when I’m in pain.

Today, the IOP therapist said, “I know you’re going to hate me for this, and you can yell and scream and rant, if you need to, but truthfully the best response to a lack of motivation is the opposite action, like the Nike slogan: Just do it.” 🤨

The strangest thing was that I didn’t feel panicked. I didn’t yell or scream, as she’d allowed for; I just accepted it for what it is. I’m certain it will be a struggle for me for quite a while, if not always, but the only way to fight this bull (or at least bull-headed stubbornness!), is to take it by the horns and show it who’s boss. Here’s what shocks me the most: I actually am starting to believe that maybe I actually *CAN*! 🤔

This small beginning of self-confidence is *HUGE* for me! I’m so used to being afraid to try, and certain that I would fail, creating my own self-fulfilling prophecy. 😒

Can I magically become Super Woman overnight, and tomorrow have my house spotless, like a 50s housewife. Psh! Heck, no! I know better than to expect that....by now, anyway....😅

However, I can continue making strides, by living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, and evaluating each moment of action or inaction to decide if it’s the appropriate response to the current situation.

It doesn’t mean that I was/am lazy. It simply means that other aspects of my mental health needed to be addressed before I could take the tools DBT teaches and use them wisely, to succeed, heal, and grow. Now, I have HOPE.


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Think I just made some progress #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Massive strong emotions still shaking. Something happened which isn’t really important but I had that flood of massive emotion and felt totally overwhelmed and my heart was beating out of my chest. I did ring my bf which in retrospect now I could wait until the physical reaction has calmed, but I explained from my perspective what had upset me without putting blame on him. After the phone call, which went ok but mega awkward you know 😏 I cried and wanted to run away #Selfharm , get drunk do something to sabotage myself, but I closed my eyes and said ‘these strong emotions are mine and they will pass’ until my heart beat slowed. I thought about the consequences of doing the above things and decided to challenge myself #OppositeAction #DBT and continue with my evening with him without feeling that I had to cause conflict or be massively agitated.
I’m still nervous about going up to see him as I don’t want to go back to that space but I want to know what making up feels like with a hug instead of running away and hurting him too.
I just want to cry and cry but it feels like a break through.
So much love for this community. Does anyone else feel this way when they make small breakthroughs? Also any advice on how not to go back to that crazy place tonight? Xxxxxxxxxxxxx thank you 🙏


Distinguishing Between Fatigue and Lethargy

Fatigue and lethargy are similar in that they feel as though a heavy blanket has inhibited your ability to physically and cognitively function. You may resist tasks which require getting up or moving position, you may feel sleepy and desire a nap, or you may have little interest or ability to focus on anything in particular.

Fatigue is a physiological response to a lack of adequate rest, food, or other imbalance in the mind or body. Distinguishing features of fatigue are accompanying physical symptoms such as muscle aches and mild flu symptoms, feeling like you can't fully wake up, and an internal desire to do something, whether you are able to or not.

Lethargy is a mental emotional response which causes the sensation of being tired, or physically drained. Lethargy can indicate depression, but it can also show up when there is no particular urgency to complete tasks. Distinguishing features of lethargy include accompanying negative self talk or internal distress, feeling like you can't care, and a lack of "willingness" to begin or complete a task.

While these two experiences can often present similarly, the treatment for each is polar opposite.

Fatigue requires rest, pacing, and any additional needs required by the individual. It is only through acquiring enough rest, nutrients, and adequate care that the fatigued person will regain the physical and cognitive ability to perform tasks to the best of their ability.

Lethargy requires action in order to recover. While feeling lethargic, it is imperative that one takes intentional steps to complete tasks, even and especially when it feels pointless to do so. Through the application of physical and mental exertion, as well as affirming one's ability to complete tasks, lethargy is often lifted and one feels less tired and more capable.

Understanding what is happening in your own mind and body is important to be able to administer the correct treatment when you are experiencing exhaustion which inhibits your ability to function. Many people with chronic illness or mental illness experience both of these symptoms, and it can be confusing to try to figure out what you need at any given time. But staying aware of your diet, physical exertion, mental emotion exertion, and other ways you either recharge or use up energy can really help you determine whether you require a resting period or would benefit more from pushing yourself.

#Fatigue #Depression  #Lethargy  #exhaustion  #rest  #OppositeAction   #pacing  #Recovery   #CognitiveBehaviorTherapy   #selfhelp


Challenging my #InsecureAttachment & #Shame

I never realized how often my insecure attachment gets in the way. My therapy homework this week was: recognize when my insecure attachment was speaking up, identify the feeling (usually shame) and then practice opposite action (ex: leave my room instead of isolating). I never realized, until this week, how often my thoughts are directed by my insecure attachment. How often I think I don’t fit in, that my roommates don’t like me, etc, but it’s multiple times a day! And sometimes I do the opposite action and other times I stay in my room all day. You win some, you lose some. #InsecureAttachment #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #DBT #OppositeAction