struggle

George Bernard Shaw said, “A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, ‘The one I feed the most’.”#Trauma #Love #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Lonliness #Sadness #Depression #Lonliness #self #Friends #Family #sad #Emotion #Life #MakeMeLaugh #Shame #Guilt #suffering #Pain #hurt #struggle #Happiness #peace #MightyMinute

When my world came crashing down, I was forced to find my way in the world. Every bad decision I made altered the course of my life. I was stuck in a rut as my father described it. Unfortunately for me; it was much worse than that.

The rut was one thing and the need to pull myself out of it was ever present. Sadly the rut was only the beginning of a life-time of negative emotions and regret. I wish I could have experienced the trauma and continued with a positive attitude and I did attempt to forget about the people who hurt me. No matter how hard I tried to forget and move on I was stuck reliving the trauma over and over again.

Angry, sadness and revenge continuously played on my mind. As time has passed I just wanted some closure from the incident as it is forever haunting me. Even an apology would make me feel a little better instead I am stuck in self-loathing and misery while the people who hurt me continue on as though nothing happened.

While everyone my age was having a good time and enjoying their youth, I would spend each weekend isolating in my room. Weekends trying to forget what happened to me with the help of marijuana. I was my own worst enemy, imprisoned and desperate for a solution. Just like everything else in my life - I was looking for an easy fix. An easy fix which I am still looking for to this day

I have come to realise that trauma will be ever present in my life. It has become a part of me whether I like it or not. The victim mindset has plagued me for years and I need to make a change. I need to let go of the negativity and anger once and for all.

#Recovery #PTSD #Depression #selfmedicate #Sadness #Pain #hurt #suffering #Addiction #Hatred #Jealousy #anger #despair #gloom #Doom #Love #Support #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Friendship #Family #people #places #things #control #Emotion #sad #feelingbetter #Slowly #Survivor #illness #struggle #adversity #Sabotage #selfawareness #Reflection

Since I was diagnosted with BPD, I started being late to more and more appointments. While the years from school until 24 I was always a bit early. I really want to go back to being that person again, but how.. it now seems impossible. #struggle #Advice #Tips #Strategy

For so many including myself it is hard to see a positive from the struggles you have gone through or are currently going through. Struggles often shape us and change, they make us self-isolate and hide from a society filled with stereotypes and stigmas. A society that judges those going through a struggle. A society that makes those with a story hide their story and let others tell our story. I struggle everyday not just with my struggle with my mental health and legal issues, but also with a wonder of will the values and strengths I have gained from my past struggles and current struggles ever come to fruition.

There is true value in the struggles you have been through or are currently going through. You need to find those that have also been through a struggle because these are the people that will not judge you and stereotype you. Going through a struggle and coming out the other side gives you a strength no one can ever take away from you. Often it is hard for ourselves to see the values and strengths we have gained from our struggles, that is why connect with others that have gone through struggles will give you someone willing and able to tell you what they see.

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #valueinstruggles #struggle

bipolartater.com/value-in-struggles

My fiancé was sexually abused I try so hard to be strong for her but then there are moments where I just think I can’t believe she went though that normally when I’m alone I just start to cry just before posting this I was in tears for over an hour I just hate to think of her every going through anything like that just so afraid and alone and not safe I know I shouldn’t think this way like I always think if I only met her sooner maybe it would have stopped sooner I know I shouldn’t beat myself up like that but it’s just she’s my world my everything it doesn’t help either when you read articles saying it’s just about the survivor there feelings there pain there healing when the partner of the survivor has there own set of unique emotions that come with it then I go from being in tears to being so angry not at my fiancé at all but the one who hurt her I have been going back and forth between the two since this morning how do I overcome these feelings should I talk to my fiancé or try to handle it on my own sorry for such a long post but I really had to get this off my chest

I struggle with my #Mania often. Thankfully today is a good day, but I remember on my darker days, a specific song (my manic and I by Laura Marling) would help me. Here are the lyrics. I recommend this song to anyone who has or is struggling with that war inside of them that almost feels like a separate entities from yourself. I truly hope this helps someone out there feel seen like it helped me 💜

He wants to die in a lake in Geneva
The mountains can cover the shape of his nose
He wants to die where nobody can see him
But the beauty of his death will carry on so
I don't believe him
He greets me with kisses when good days deceive him
And sometimes we're scorned and sometimes I believe him
And sometimes I'm convinced, my friends think I'm crazy
Get scared and call him but he's usually hazy
At one in the morning, day is not ended
By two he is scared that sleep is no friend
And by four he will drink but he cannot feel it
Sleep will not come because sleep does not will it
And I don't believe him, morning is mocking me
I?ll wander the streets, avoiding them eats
?Til the ring on my finger slips to the ground
A gift to the gutter, a gift to the city
The veins of which have broken me down
And I don't believe him, morning is mocking me
Oh, the Gods that he believes never fail to amaze me
He believes in the love of his God of all things
But I find him wrapped up in all manner of sins
The drugs that deceive him and the girls that believe him
I can't control you, I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill
I can't control you, I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill
And since last that we parted
Last that I saw him down by a river
Silent and hardened
Morning was mocking us, blood hit the sky
I was just happy, my manic and I
He couldn't see me, the sun was in his eyes
And birds were singing to calm us down
And birds were singing to calm us down
And I'm sorry young man, I cannot be your friend
I don't believe in a fairytale end
I don't keep my head up all of the time
I find it dull when my heart meets my mind
And I hardly know you, I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that we're ill
I hardly know you, I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that I'm ill
And the Gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me
The Gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me
My nihilist, my happy man, my manic and I
Have no plans to move on
But birds are singing to calm us down
And birds are singing to calm us down

#BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD

Even when I know to practice opposite action and do the "right thing"for my mental/physical health, trauma processing and panic makes it very hard

After my therapy session over the phone, I don't have the motivation to go outside. One of those "order food and eat ice cream" days. Its a hard day for me. Can anyone relate?

#Trauma #Therapy #Depression #struggle