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Driven By Music

Music has been the driven point of my moods for a long time. Music, I remember from songs once heard as well as songs heard on the radio. Never been able to regulate my moods without thinking of a song or hearing a song. When I'm driving about 80% of the time, I'm listening to music that will help me adapt to the upcoming situation. #Radio #Music #MentalHealth #moods

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#Life #Thoughts #changes #moods #Reality

Was this life part of a plan
Could I change beforehand
Sad & happy, false and true
Why did I put my trust in you
What am I to learn from this
We don’t all feel eternal bliss
Is it what we signed up for
Lean upon your sacred door
To be fooled into thinking
Soul is positively shrinking

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Toolbox posters - could you tell me one action you would use for a particular feeling?

In #Therapy I was told to create a Toolbox poster
Here's mine. It's stuck by the side of my bed.

Different #moods call for a different #actions

What would yours look like?

#ChronicDepression #ChronicIllness #feelings


Ending of a film, book (story) completely changing your mood

This is going to sound really odd..
Has the ending of a storyline, whether it be a book or movie, completely changed your entire mood for days?

I was feeling pretty good the other day, worked out, did really good on my run too.

In the evening I decided to watch "A Star is Born" for the first time. It was a really good film, however, since watching said film (or anything that has a sad ending), I've been feeling very down and overall crap.

I don't really relate to much of the film, maybe some small aspects. Just not sure why it has impacted my mood so much. I was wondering if anyone else experiences this? Is it normal?


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Nothing Personal

I tired of people keep asking what’s wrong!!! Over and Over (This is a trigger)
Please stay out of my bubble let me work out what’s going on in my Head
Nothing Personal
#nothingpersonal #PTSD #moods

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Making a deal with the devil! #Bipolar #Depression #moods #Thoughts #Mania

Having Bipolar takes one on a rollercoaster of extreme moods, thoughts and behaviours, sometimes difficult to manage. In 2012 I ended up in hospital with psychosis and diagnosed with this lovely condition.

During this time, I would daily walk round the hospital building to attempt to collect my thoughts and try make sense of them all. To begin, they didn’t make any sense - all scrambled. But as days went by, I began collecting the jigsaw pieces of where this all began and to admit to myself certain things weren’t real! It was complete mania and psychosis I was experiencing.

Given my new dosage of meds in the mornings, I was coming out of the aforementioned experiences; I continued with my daily walk round the hospital. I sat on a bench, adjacent to a beautiful oak tree, with coloured flower patches, and seagulls i observered, I realised I had to get better not only for myself but for my daughter who was temporary staying between her dad and grandparents.

Tears began to roll down my face ‘no I wouldn’t let this condition ruin me’ I’m stronger than this I asserted. That’s where I made a bold claim - ‘I’ll make a deal with the devil; if this was rock bottom then I’d fight my way back to some form of normality for my daughter. She never asked to be born, she was innocent and needed her mummy’. Therefore I lost the right to end things, that right was no longer my choice.

If it meant worst case, being a medicated zombie then I would as she needed a mum. And there id be until my time was up. My daughter deserved a mum, albeit a bipolar mum. Previously I had worked in looked after kids residential and all those kids wanted were their parents. Some of which were addicts, alcoholics, had their own issues and thus unable to watch them and hence, the care system stepped in with the view of the kids returning to their parents once they got better.

It didn’t matter to the kids of wealth, or living in a beautiful house, what mattered to them was their need to return to their parents - they hoped that day would come fast! Kids are resilient, more so that I had originally thought.

So the handshake was done; my word was given. And so I wiped away my tears, stood up, wiped myself down, and began my fight to have my daughter back in my arms once again.

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Self care is a challenge #Selfcare #cowdens #Parenting #worklifebalance #Family #Parenting #Caregiver

So, I had my twice a year visit with the oncologist and I really really need to schedule that hysterectomy. I have a large family and don’t want more kids, and it’s not like I don’t know I need it I’ve been kicking the can down the road for two years and at least three opinions. I can go for a third opinion but it’s not like I think they are going to say something else. I’m having a hard time scheduling for the following reasons I’ve identified I think they are all dumb and toxic and I’d love encouragement that I’m doing tbe right thing by scheduling in February (once both Covid vaccine doses are in )1. I feel guilty about letting my boss down - I’ll be out for three months
2. I feel guilty about letting my family down I won’t be as present as usual
3. My mother doesn’t believe in surgery I kicked the thyroidectomy down tbe road for at least a decade because I didn’t want to let her down
4. I don’t want to feel unfeminine
5. I’m scared of a long recovery
6. I’m scared of being needy
7. My poor husband will have to take some time off and his boss will be a jerk
Help me navigate this emotional maelstrom it’s not like I have it together on a good day #Chat #Hysterectomy #moods #cowdens


Understanding my Moods after 7 yrs with a #Bipolar diagnosis

There was a time where I used to ignore my moods and my emotions. In fact I used to feel scared when I felt anything like an emotion.

After years of experimenting with my moods I've come to the conclusion that you just have to feel out your moods. At least that's what helps me.

I use music to sort out emotions that make me uncomfortable and writing to make feel at ease as I am going through depression or mania.

If you are having a hard time dealing with emotions read some articles about how others have dealt with their moods, try writing, art, or music.

What helps you to deal with #moods ? #MentalHealth

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