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The Cops Were Called

Today is the first time the #Police were called on me for a #wellnesscheck . My husband had text my mother earlier in the day, and I even had let her know I was feeling emotionally sick and needed time away from things.

I felt suicidal, and my husband had sat with me and watched me and spent the whole day with me. I had no sharp objects, no phone to look at social media, no strings or wires or cords, ate with plastic fork and spoon on a paper plate, and followed all other protocols for at home care.

I made sure he followed me and sat right by the bathroom door when I had to go. I was not about to go to a facility that is in town that I had already reported to the state of #Florida for the conditions there. I now have been doing therapy trauma as a result of me being at that facility.

When someone like me feels suicidal to the degree that I have felt, it was more so a pull sensation, and often times would leave me to want to bang my fits on something or self harm because I was emotionally hurting so much. I have been down that road so many times.

I am not thinking those thoughts right now, nor do I feel that way anymore... But I am completely aware that I was triggered by recent events and that I have a very #serious problem. I talked with my husband about finding a retreat that offers therapy, yoga, nutrition classes, outdoor walks, and 24/7 care if I needed help. The mental health facilities in my area don't have spas or yoga or anything that can help treat a lower risk patient like myself.

My next #Therapy appointment is next week. And my doctor appointment is the same day. So I just want to make sure that I mention all of what has happened. I do not want to feel this way ever again... But with this disability #BipolarDepression I cannot guarantee that it will never throw me for a relapse.

The sad part is for me, which is also a good thing though is I am fully aware of what is right and wrong about what I am thinking when I feel that way.

Do you have any friendly advice?
I don't mind paying for the retreat, but I would like to find someplace to go where it is warm. Preferably here in the state of #Florida .

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#serious question

I’m not doing well lately emotionally. My son wants to visit from Boston for Thanksgiving. He has left my daughter in law after 20 years, she’s devastated and frankly I am too. He’s gone to be with old girlfriend. I love my son but don’t want to see him at this time. I don’t have the words to say to him. My bi polar is greatly affected by this. I am to tell him all this today. Why can’t I except his decision? I feel like he is a stranger to me now. It’s a horrible feeling to feel this way

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#Fibromyalgia #Schizophrenia #ChronicIllness #Selfpity #sad
"Back for More" by FFDP

This #Song "(YouTube link on top of post) is like my anthem for living. The physical & mental hardship/suffering......every day I gotta #fight being #Weak & giving up & I gotta. be determined to keep 'coming'"Back for More" 😆 https://LOL.but #serious 😐takes every bit of my #strength & fortitude to go day to day this way- borne out of my #Fear of hell & eternal damnation)

sorry I so depressing today-seems I'm,full of self pity-outside of myself looking at my pitiful torturous life.


I'd like some advice

#sensitivetopics #suicidalthoughtsandtendancies
Hi, I'd like some help. I am a guy in my mid teens and second year of high school. I have been suffering with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. I have also been bullied since around the third grade. I have four friends that i'd say i was close with. A few other people I can call friends but I wouldnt say were too close. The main reason I get bullied is that i'm a "gamer weeb" and most people think most of my time is spent sitting on the couch playing games or watching anime/reading manga. The guys call me names and hurt me and the girls stay well away from me. All the people around me, even my friends, are all moving on and making their own paths through life. Finding lovers, going to parties, getting jobs, ect. And no matter how much I try, I can't. I feel like i'm a burden to everyone. I told my friend about my depression and anxiety but it felt like he was giving fake sympathy. I'm not proud to admit but I have tried to take my life many times, but as you can tell by me writing this.. I stopped in the nick of time. I keep getting the feeling that I am supposed to be elsewhere. This feeling has lead to me exploring lucid dreaming and even forced sleep paralysis. Both things were terrible. During sleep paralysis I was attacked by a spider and lucid dreaming lead to me in a huge crowed being shuned and beaten by the people I called friends. This has lead to my wanting to distance myself from them. I don't want to go to a doctor. I don't wanna ask for help. I want to beat this alone, and it's probably due to my family not helping me when I was younger and making me do everything not just for them but for myself too. I've made my own food since early childhood, and never showered or shaved with any help. My hygiene could be better but I don't smell, I use deorderant and wash my hair and body. I'm a little overweight but not by a lot, only about twenty pounds. I can't really run due to asthema and this helps with the taunting and bullying. I just want to be important to people and be loved by someone. I just want to be happy and not this sad, depressed, lump of flesh I am now. I want to be able to protect my friends and find a passion in life to persue, but I need to relieve myself of these shackles caused by anxiety and depression. Please.. someone help me..


#ADHD the illness overlooked

The wrong diagnosis can and will destroy your life. #ADHD is overlooked with 90% of people suffering #ADHD . A #serious life threatening mental illness. #meds for #Bipolar will not help, and if #Psychiatrist doesnt notice you're not improving, take you own life back. Please get #rediagnosed . I went for 40 years bipolar/#BPD they said. When I listened to myself and went for another opinion, I was correct. I'm #ADHD , with #BPD and #Bipolar . According to the #Psychiatrist who #diagnosed me, my entire life has been #compromised , and I've lived in unspeakable #mental hell, simply due to incorrect #Diagnosis .


#how you feel

When someone tells you that your anxiety is just an excuse to get any attention, I noticed for some people who dont have it is hard to explain that it's not joke to have. #serious condition