It’s Christmas Eve here. So challenging. I’m going to somehow get through tomorrow with my family, then I’m looking forward to finding peace. No more hurt, and connecting with those who have left. Merry Christmas everyone.
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So this is something that took me back to a not good situation, and just wanting some advice.
Seven years ago I left a very bad marriage, my kids on their own decision have nothing to do with their dad.
Today in my mailbox, and in all of my neighbours mailboxes was a letter.
Saying they (not sure who they are!) are attempting to reach my ex urgently regarding an important matter. And there’s a phone number to call urgently.
Do I
1 call them because I do know where he lives
2 ignore the letter
I know he’s not a good person, and this will probably be about something bad that he’s done.
It’s also unnerving that they’ve traced him back to here (I still live in the family home. But I paid him out so me and my kids could stay)
And it’s embarrassing that my neighbours also got the same letter, addressed to the occupant. One of them had opened it, and put it into my mailbox.
This has brought up a lot of bad feelings which I was trying really hard to get over.
Thank you for reading, and any advice is greatly appreciated.
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The last few weeks have been so hard. I’ve been told to relax. My anxiety has been so bad. I’ve lost a lot of weight and sleep. I was accused of something I would of never and could never have done. After being suspended work wise, then reinstated due to no proof.
It’s brought a lot of my old past back. Things I’d wanted to put behind me.
I’ve wanted to harm, but so far haven’t.
I sleep fitfully with lots of terrible dreams.
I’m not the person I was. I look in the mirror and wonder who I am
I need a hug, a person who may say it’s going to be ok, a kind word.
Thank you
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Hi, my name is ACreativePlace. I want to learn more on how to deal with my Disabilities/Conditions. I also want to become clean from self harm
#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #AutismSpectrumDisorder #EatingDisorder #OCD #PTSD #ADHD #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Selfharm #FND #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #SH #hypermobile #hypermobileehlersdanlos #TouretteSyndrome #SuicidalIdeation #MentalHealth
3 reactions Hello new members and so excited you joined 'A Safe Sapce'! My name is Kate and I'm a part of the Morning Chaos System. We are an OSDD system, and we may do alter intros at some point. Super excited you've joined, so enjoy!
#osdd #DID #newmembers #SafeSpace #Anxiety #Autism #ASD #SH #SuicidalIdeation #Bettertogether
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☆ " Self Awareness... And Destructive Behavior's Come In All Diffrent Form's... Mine Are By In The Form Of Self Negative Talk.. Or Injurie's At Work That Are Not On Purpose... But Other Form's Leave Visable Scar's... Or Lead To More Chronic Pain... I Would Love To Get My 1st Tattoo But I Don't Like Needle's... I Already Have Scar's From Fall's Or Work Related Scar's And Childhood Surgerie's... And Stretch Mark's... So With Alot Of People Suffering From Self Harm Find Art Therapy To Combat The Fight... In Harming... Is It Really Worth The Pain To Go Through... It Just Lead's To More Scar's To Remember And Look At Daily... And No I'm Not Bashing Or Anything Like That So Don't Paint My Post In A Negative Way These Are Just Question's And Thought's Honestly..." ° #t .W. ¤ Skaoi Kvitravn ¤
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° " So I Was Finally Off Mon / Today... Everytime I Wake Up In The Morning... This Is Going To Sound Disappointing.. I Want To Just End It... I Have Already Hurt Myself At Work... Alot Actually But Out Of Frustration... And The Amount Disrespect That I'm Getting Is Insane... My Co-worker's Constantly Complain Why I'm Never At Work... Well I Need To Recharge And Rest... I Work For The Worst Boss... That I Have Right Now... So Cruel And Unfortunately Two-Faced... She Would Fake Being Super Nice To Me... And Next Now She's Looking For Way's To Fire Me... I Don't Think The Complaint That I Made Yesterday Morning Will Go Through... Companie's Have Loop Hole's... All Of These People Really Have No Idea The Amount Of Abuse From Customer's Calling Me The R-Word Slow... Incompetent. A Horrible Cashier... My Co-Worker's Say Racist Thing's Behind My Back... Tbh I Just Don't Want To Live In This World Anymore... Why I'm I So Nice And Helpful To Other's... When All They Do Is Stab You In The Back... I Truly Don't Like Working Any Customer Service Job's... Why Was The Job Market Setup Like This... I Do Better By Working Alone... Without Any Distraction's Or Loud Noise... I Only Get Super Overwhelmed On The Register Because Too Many Customer's See The Menu And Keep Changing What They Want... How Is This My Fault... My Boss Get's Very Annoying And Angry At Me Because I Call Her Too Much.. To Remove Thing's... Some Customer's Apologie's Are Fake.. But Never Want To Say That They Messed Up.. I'm Just Totally Burnt Out... My Body Is Crying... And I'm Losing Every Bit Of Myself Just Trying To Survive In This High Inflation... And Right Now It's Harder To Find A Decent Job... Nobody Want's To Hire Someone With Disabilitie's... I'm Too Much Of A Cost And A Liability..." • ▪︎▪︎¤ S.K. ¤▪︎▪︎
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° " This Started When I Was Very Little... Not Having My Father Probably Affected How I View Human's... And Having An Emotionless Mother.. That Didn't Show Any Physical Love Like Hug's.. But Would Show It By Buying Thing's.. Those Are Thing's That I Didn't Want But Experienced It Anyway's.. Now Fast Forward... To How I View Human's... I'm A Loner.. I Don't Let Anyone Get Close To Me At All.. I'm Pretty Distant When It Come's To My Sibling's... Trust Me They Are The Same Way... So I Don't Have Friendship's Not Even Outside Of My Job... Because I Don't Like Immature People... If I Can Try To Get To Know Someone... Maybe Trust Will Build One Day... But Right Now.. Too Many Bullie's And Mean Hurtful People Are Ruling This Messed Up World.. So For Now I Will Stay Locked Up With My Pure Heart.. And Mind.. Even Though My Mind Is Not Doing Well For These 2 Month's... Thought's Alot Of #SH .. And Alot Of Saddness Going On Atm... " ° Sincerely, °•° SKAOI KVITRAVN °•° #severedepression
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× " I Sent A Text This Morning .. I Worked So Much Last Week.. My Body Told Me NO! I'm So Sleep Deprived.. That All I Think About Is Work... And Then #si #SH ... Want To Play A Role Too... Even Though I Have Never Acted Nor Done Ethier One... But I Feel Worthless All This Grinding For What Just To Try An Afford An Overpriced Place To Stay... I'm Like Running On Fume's My Job Already As Me Feeling The BURNOUT MODE... I Feel Overwhelmed And Overworked... And Not Appreciated... I'm Starting To Feel Miserable... Because Other's Don't Want To Work.. I Should Litterly Get A Pay Cutt Out Of Everyone's Check's Who Don't Want To Work... I Value My Physical And Mental Health And This Job Is Breaking Me... " × #Anxiety #Depression ☆☆☆ S.K. ☆☆☆
I feel like such a burden to everybody around me. I can't seem to do anything but hurt them. I've been crying myself to sleep every night for the past few weeks, and every day I have to stop myself from cutting. I need help but I don't know how to reach out and ask for it. After coming out as trans, things seem to be harder for me too. I've finally figured out who I am, but it seems that I can't be that person. All because other people don't like it. Within the past week, I've had 4 attempts and a total of over 70 cuts and then 2 burns. I'm scared. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to ask for help. *sigh* I'm stuck with a fake laugh and a lying smile. But I don't know how much longer this can go on. Seems like there's always someone who disapproves. Judge me and hate me without even knowing me. And it's even worse when they do know me because then they know where to hit me. Where my soft spots are. I go through each day not knowing why I'm still here. Here being on Earth, or in a house that doesn't feel like home anymore, I don't know. I've tried talking to my mom but it doesn't seem to quite get through. I still spend each day struggling. I still spend each day wondering. Wondering if it'll ever get better, wonder if I'll get a chance to really live this life that I've been given. I try so hard to make things easier for my friends and my family, but when do I get to make things easy for me? I'm 16, but I've lived the struggles of someone 30. I've been raped, molested, on the verge of death. I've been through across rooms and called horrible things that nobody should ever be called. I've been starved and beaten. And yet nobody ever thinks to stop and ask, "Can I help?" or "Are you okay?" I'm only 16, I'm a child! Why am I being forced to do all of this on my own? It's not fair that I'm forced to think that I'm crazy when I say I'm never heard here. My mom is great, she's better than I deserve. But her boyfriend is a gaslighting emotionally abusive man who thinks he's the fucking king. He pretends to be supportive but then turns around and talks shit about me to his friends and his mom. For years I've been trying to tell my mother that he degrades me and makes me feel like I'm not worthy. I've even said it bluntly and it's always "We're working on it" or "I'm doing the best I can". And I know that this makes her sound bad, but I promise you that I see that she's trying. But I can also see that her boyfriend is not willing to change at all. He's an alcoholic, but I can't be around alcohol. I used to be an alcoholic...when I was about 10 to 15. And then I was over it because I didn't like how it made me feel (the stealing or the alcohol), not to mention that I have complete panic attacks when he drinks because I have PTSD from 2 different men doing and saying things while they were drunk. ONE OF THEM BEING HIM!! I just...*sigh* I don't know what to do anymore.#Depression #Survivor #Anxiety #LGBTQ #helpme #SH #trans
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