short-term memory

I had been doing so much better with my energy and interest in pushing myself forward, but from Friday to now (Tuesday) I have been dragging horribly.

The previous week was unusually stressful even for my stressful life, as I announced to my husband’s family that I can no longer be his caregiver and need help finding him a care home. That’s technically “good” stress, I think, but it was still hard. Then my younger daughter-in-law visited for five days with her beau and that wiped me out even though they are both sweet people.

When your life is full of a situation that makes you anxious plus you have chronic illness, chronic pain, and are undergoing intense therapy for cPTSD, it is difficult to not be on an emotional roller coaster.

I don’t think I will have any real relief from what holds me down until I am no longer a 24/7 caregiver to someone who has no short-term memory, no ability to steer his brain and dementia. I have become so super-sensitized to his every little sound and cannot help but react. It isn’t much wonder that I want to hide in bed and lose my mind in games on my phone.

I “comprehend” why I need to hide in self-defense of my health, but cannot fix it until I can get my husband a new diagnosis to qualify for entry in a care home we have not yet found. That all takes time and energy that is hard for me to manage.

Please share your reaction to this quote and tell us how it relates to your situation.

#apathy #Depression #Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #PTSD #PanicDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Selfcare #Caregiving #Dementia #ShorttermMemory

I’m starting to open up about more trauma with my therapist. Lately I’ve been having flashbacks several times a day about a few specific traumatic events in my life. It’s to the point where I catch myself in a dissociative state. My brain is having a difficult time keeping up with work & life. I forget things or get so flustered (no one sees it). I hide this all so well. My husband with whom I live and work with hasn’t noticed my drifting mind in the last few weeks. I finally told him today I just can’t keep up and have made mistakes. I get so frustrated at my brain. I’ve learned how to easily tuck away flashbacks but now I’m learning a new way to approach them. I tend to power through but often forget what I’m doing in the moments that I have the flashbacks. Seriously my long term memory is pretty good but my short term memory is very scattered and it just plain sucks. I’m trying to not get too hung up on this but just wanted to share with others.

#CPTSD #Depression #Anxiety #MemoryLoss #ShorttermMemory