For my entire life I have had a fondness for plushies. I love having the soft fur against my face. I usually put one under my head at night. It's my way to self soothe. I'm pretty sure it's a form of stimming.
This is Lux Alba, my trans cow. He's so soft.
Both before and after my various diagnoses, and, really, before I even had an inkling that my brain was wired differently from others, I had to come up with coping mechanisms. We all do, neurospicy or not. The world is not set up to ensure our safety or happiness on a regular basis, so we develop mechanisms for coping with both the good and the bad. (Let's set aside how we cope with good stuff for a moment, but I think it's a really important conversation.)
So, because I just need to share, because I'm an extrovert, and because the BPD "unclear sense of self" means that I am more me when I'm around, or communicating with, others than in a vacuum, I'm going to offer a few of the ways I deal with the difficulties of this condition.
I don't know where number 14R7@45alpha5 originally came from. My partner brought it home with her from work and it sounded silly, but I gave it a go and now it's my first thought. I call it "Tap Tap." You cross your arms in front of your body and start double-tapping each shoulder with the opposite hand. As with any kind of stimming, it may take a while to find the right rhythm, but once I do, and my brain starts concentrating on the rhythm, I break out into a huge grin, if not full-on laughter.
My understanding is that the stimulation of opposite sides by opposite sides helps the two hemispheres of the brain communicate a little better. There's also the mind-clearing effect of focus, much the same as concentrating on one's breathing during meditation.
Admittedly, it doesn't work for everyone. But it works for me, even when I am feeling my lowest. It may not make me smile at that point, but it keeps me from spiraling and ruminating into despair. A good friend pointed out to me about this practice that a lot of the time we're trained not to accept simple explanations. Things that are complex appear to be better-researched and more reliable. Tapping is easy. And it works. We don't need everything to be complicated.
So, "Tap Tap." Give it a go if you're feeling panicked, or teetering on the brink of one of those "everyone I ever loved is a bastard who never loved me" moods.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #copingstrategies #BPD #Stimming
#ADHD #Autism #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #MentalHealth #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #Anxiety #PTSD #Stimming
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I've written before about how I was misdiagnosed as bipolar for a few decades, and the therapies and various prescription medicines never helped me. In fact, they nearly killed me.
In my last year on the meds, I got lithium toxicity, and was rushed to a trauma center a hundred miles from home, and spent a week in ICU. That was the autumn of 2021, and I am still recovering now in February 2023.
Yesterday I saw my third psychiatrist in a row who told me I had never been bipolar, but I am Autistic. This time he put it all on paper, and entered it into my medical records. I guess that means it's official. Or maybe 'I' am official? Nah. I'm still just me.
I never had an inkling that I might be Autistic before sometime last summer, when I read a story in The Mighty by someone who found out accidentally that she was Autistic while she was having one of her children tested and assessed. When she described her life and her challenges, she sounded to me like she was describing my own life.
From that point onward, I started reading everything that I could get my hands on about the Autism Spectrum.
Then there were the internet tests, the books with tests, and finally talking to doctors and to Autistics.
Eventually, I was convinced beyond any reason of a doubt that I myself was, and am Autistic. Thereafter, I brought it up with my psychiatrist, and it took off from there.
That brings me back to yesterday, and the third psychiatrist to agree, and who added it into my medical record.
Now if I can get my General Practitioner to remove the bipolar label from my record there, I will feel like I can finally relax a little.
I don't have a problem with bipolar in itself. I just have a major problem with being misdiagnosed for decades and spending the bulk of my money on therapy and prescriptions that kept me physically exhausted and in a heavy mental fog for decades, and didn't help me in any way. I feel like the majority of my life was wasted.
So to have the label removed from my records is removing a constant painful reminder of all the life that I missed in my youth and middle age.
I am going to spend the rest of my years as a happy, grateful Autistic old dude. Peace be with you all.
♾️♾️♾️
🖖
#Autistic #actuallyautistic #audhd #ADHD #Autism #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #AutismAcceptance #Stimming #Dysgraphia #dyscalcula #pathologicaldemandavoidance #PDA #AutisticInertia #AutisticBurnout
#EFD #ExecutiveFunctionDisorder #executivedysfunction #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RSD
#ReactiveAttachmentDisorder #rad #MajorDepressiveDisorder #MDD #Dysthymia
#Hyperfocus #hypervigilant #SensoryOverstimulation #SensoryIssues #SensoryPain
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I know that many people associate stimming with autism; however I’ve been struggling really bad lately due to severe anxiety and ptsd. I will rock back and forth, flap my hands and sometimes go non-verbal #SelectiveMutism I’m trying to learn ways to cope, but it’s really hard. Anything help any of y’all with this issue?
#Stimming #Autism #Anxiety #PTSD
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