combined presentation ADHD

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New diagnosis and mix feelings

Yesterday I went to my new primary care provider for pain and getting established with her for care. Upon my arrival, she diagnosed me with ADHD based on my behavior (I guess I always thought I was like everyone else) and based on evaluation.

My mother was just recently diagnosed with ADHD as well so I suppose it should surprise me. I have also been asked by other of I was diagnosed with ADHD. To be honest I really thought that I just had extra energy from being cooped up because of Ehlers-danlos and chronic pain a month and a myriad of other issues.

After taking the assessment I realize I have ADHD and now I'm trying to process this new information and well, let me tell you, it's not easy. I have always thought that the things that were pointed out were part of my better side but now I just feel like I'm awkward and weird because I've had all the “weird” things pointed out to me. I am looking over all my interactions and wondering how “weird” I have been seen as all this time. I'd question everything I do and wonder if yet another person was going to avoid me because of my ADHD symptoms.

I believe in Jesus and I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Made in the image of God but still I wonder if my symptoms have been holding me back and keeping me isolated because people don't understand me and I don't know how to communicate what is going on inside my head. Have I scared all my friends away by talking too much, hyper-focusing, and such?

I'm, nonetheless, thankful that God has given me this chance and understanding to reach out to others with similar issues and be able to share the joy and comfort I have found and continue to pursue every day in Christ.

Can anyone else relate?
#ADHDInGirls #ADHD #CombinedPresentationADHD #Christian #FaithAndIllness #Faith

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Does anyone know who does AUTISM assessments for ADULTS in western NC, or east TN, or southwest VA?

Hi. I am seriously interested in getting an assessment for ‘Autism,’ or ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder’ for Adults. I am over 60, and I don't need it to qualify for any kind of help or benefits at my age. I just need to know, so I can answer a thousand personal questions about myself. It's for my peace of mind, but it also has the advantage of being useful family medical information that I can pass along to my kids and grandkids.

I have a ton of different diagnoses from as many doctors and therapists from over the course of my life. So many of these diagnoses have some of the same symptoms, and so many of the diagnoses seem to battle with others for ‘dominance’, that I don't know what to believe anymore. One doctor will say he's certain I have one thing, and five years later another will say he doesn't agree, and says it's something different. Meanwhile, both of them put me on medications for those things, and the second one is basically telling me I just wasted 5 years of prescriptions and therapy designed for the first thing. Not once, not twice, but many, many times I have gone through this.

Because of all of that, I currently have a bushel of diagnoses that are supposedly correct and current, and a ton of prescriptions to go along with them. And I don't have the confidence that any of them are correct, like I so easily assumed when I was younger. Do you see my frustration?

From my reading in the last few months, I have seen my traits (i.e. symptoms) and my thought patterns and thought processes turn up time and again under the detailed descriptions of Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorder. If that were found to be true, it would settle my mind, and it would give me something that I lost long ago, and assumed I would never see again: Hope. It would make such a difference if I could be able to focus on one true diagnosis instead of a jillion competing diagnoses. I could work on learning coping skills and workarounds for one thing. One.

So, I need to find a doctor or a therapist who assesses for ‘Autism’ or ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder’ IN ADULTS  in the:
1.               western half of NC, or
2.               southwest area of VA, or
3.               eastern part of TN.
(A little outside of those areas could work, too, if they are good.) ***I have been told that “the MIGDAS-2 assessment” works better for those of us who have been masking for many years. What are your thoughts?

I do appreciate you reading this far. I know that it was long. If you can help me find someone, please let me know. Thank you for your time.  I wish you Peace, and Joy, and excellent Health.  ♧


#Autism #Depression #Anxiety #PathologicalDemandAvoidanceSyndrome
#ReactiveAttachmentDisorder #SocialAnxiety
#MajorDepressiveDisorder
#Bipolar2Disorder
#BipolarDepression #TreatmentresistantDepression #CombinedPresentationADHD #ADHD #AspergersSyndrome #AutisticAdults #Autistic
#Hypervigilance #Hyperfocus #silent #EyeContact #Stimming #Suicide #PTSD #CPTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder
#BodyFocusedRepetitiveBehaviors #BFRBAwarenessWeek #Parentification #Abuse #neglect #Insomnia #DermatiIlomania

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Nowhere to go from here

My wife just blew up at me. We need to communicate better, she said. She has a habit of telling me what negative thoughts I am thinking and feeling, and then adding, "well am I wrong?" to it. This is years in the making. Essentially, it happens when she asks me a question or tells me about something, and my tone of voice sounds negative to her, or my face or body language looks negative.

I have chronic pain as well as deep depression, so it is difficult for me to convincingly put on a happy face, or speak with joy in my voice. But I do try my best to speak in neutral tones at the very least, and I have thought that I have a resting face of a neutral mood or higher as much as possible.

It has been building for a long time. I am struck out of the blue most times when she tells me what I am thinking, and how unfair that is, and paints me as the bad guy and her as the innocent one. In the early days, it would just shock me, and sometimes confuse me. In the last couple of years, it just makes me angry and defensive. We've had plenty of arguments about it, but no agreement. She doesn't see it as mind reading because she says "I 'feel like' you were disgusted by what I just said, and you shouldn't be", or "I 'feel' that you think I'm stupid just because I did X, or Y". She says since she uses the word "feel", she isn't mind reading, and so it's up to me to tell her if she's right or wrong. Well, I have been telling her she's wrong for over 40 years now, and that only makes her angry and defensive. I told her time and again that I get mad when people try to read my mind and put words into my mouth. I tell her to skip saying the part about what she is so sure that I am thinking, and just ASK ME what I am thinking, instead. Ninety percent of the time, I am not only NOT thinking what she thinks I am, but I am thinking about some other subject altogether. Then when she accuses me of thinking some negative thing, it hits me out of the blue, and I register it as an insult. I asked her why she can't just ASK me what I am thinking, or ask me how I am feeling. I would welcome both of those if they were honest questions. I would feel like I was cared about. That makes perfect sense to me, but she doesn't see it that way. She says that she's just being honest, and that she IS asking me how I feel, or what I am thinking, when she tells me what she feels like I am thinking. We can't get past that. So she got louder and more accusatory, and then angrily walked out.

I don't know what to do. I am battling Major Depressive Disorder, CPTSD, Anxiety, ADHD and severe Chronic Pain. I am doing the very best that I can. I am on disability, and I fill my days and evenings reading books on my various diagnoses, learning as much as I can, so that I can better control, or adapt, or adjust to the reality of my life, and I do feel good about that. I have tried to share some of this with her, both verbally, and by sharing articles with her via email. She seems stand-offish about it, at best. When I ask her outright if she wants to learn more, she swears she does, but she has a life, therefore she just doesn't have the time or energy to read much about it. I told her a few minutes ago that I will stop burdening her with it, and will stop sending her articles and such. She rebuffed that idea, but added again that she just doesn't have the time. She said she is doing the best that she can in trying to deal with all my problems, and she doesn't have the energy or the will to do it any more. She's "had it."

She came back and brought up another time recently that I was unreasonable, saying that she had told me something about her job, and I had reacted with sarcasm and disgust. I remember it well. It was just the opposite. She told me that her employer was giving $50 bonuses to anyone who got a Covid booster shot, and I responded "wow, that must be nice. Go ahead and do that." She and I both agree that that's all that I said. But she says I was being sarcastic, and spit the words out like venom, and I thought it was disgusting. I remember calmly saying those words, genuinely happy for her to get $50 just for getting a shot that we both were going to get anyway. The difference, more than likely, was the fact that during the time that she was unwinding after work and telling me bonus, as well as about the rest of her day, I was in a pit of depression, and I was in a ton of physical pain from my legs and my back. I know that had to have affected the tone of my voice, the look on my face, and my body language. But I don't talk about the pain, because it would sound whiney and redundant. I was just sitting there listening to her, and I thought I answered appropriately and honestly. Anyway, that night, after I had answered her, she responded by telling me what (she believed) I was thinking and feeling, and she wanted to know what my response was. My response was "that's not an argument I am willing to have right now." To me, I was angry that "it" was happening again, and I could argue about it like so many times before, or I could choose not to. I chose not to argue. To her, I had just insulted her, and said she isn't worth arguing with, and since I had not argued, then what she had thought about me must indeed be true.

If (and when) she "reads my mind" again, and assigns various negative thoughts and feelings to me, we could bypass all of this trouble if she could just hold those 'mind-read thoughts' inside, and just ask me two simple questions, instead. First, "how are you feeling?" And second, "what are you tinking." I will gladly and honestly answer her. But I just can't take any more veritable accusations for thinking and feeling certain ways, and then be expected to explain or defend myself, meanwhile letting it roll off me like water off of a duck's back. It's not an argument I'm having anymore.

Thanks for listening.
♧♧♧

#MajorDepressiveDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #CPTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Anxiety #ADHD #Autism #BodyFocusedRepetitiveBehaviors #PathologicalDemandAvoidanceSyndrome #AutismSpectrumDisorders #TreatmentresistantDepression #TRD #ASD #anhedonia #ChronicDepression #ChronicPain #SpinalStenosis #GAD #Sadness #CombinedPresentationADHD #SmilingDepression #SocialAnxietyDisorder #Disability #MentalHealth #Insomnia #DiabetesType2 #Diabetes #Asthma #Hypertension #Hypervigilance #nerveandjointpain #HearingLoss #Grief #generationaltrauma #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #TraumaRecovery #Trauma #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #MedicalTrauma #IntergenerationalTrauma #Trauma #SexualTrauma #traumasurvivor #Survivor #EmotionalAbuse #ChiildhoodSexualAbuse #ChildhoodEmotionalAbuse #PsychologicalAbuse #PTSD #AdverseChildhoodExperiences #ChildhoodAbuse #ReactiveAttachmentDisorder #RAD #attachment #Childhoodneglect #attachmentdisorder #ChildAbuseandNeglect #FearOfAbandonment #abandonment #Suicide #SuicideLossSurvivors #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #PassiveSuicidalIdeation #suicidal #Depression #MajorDepression

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Repetitive HUMMING while watching movies and TV?

Whenever I am watching TV or movies, anything except comedy, I continually hum, and have done so all my life. Sometimes I hum an actual tune, but in the vast majority of the time, I hum  just 2 or 3 random notes, which I will repeat for really long periods of time. Sometimes it is in unison with a main note in the background music, or a harmony,  but most times the notes have nothing to do with the music soundtrack. As you can imagine, it distracts and irritates other people to varying degrees. My solution, since I haven't been able to stop it, is just to watch alone. If you still don't understand what I am talking about, imagine sitting next to someone humming the cello notes to the theme from JAWS while you are trying to concentrate on an episode of The Gilmore Girls, or Dateline, or Law & Order.  I've done this my whole life, and it soothes me while at the same time it embarrasses me because I can't stop without starting up again a couple of minutes later, usually unbeknownst to me. I'm not actually looking for a cure for this. I just want to know if I am the only one, and does anybody know why I might do it, or where it comes from? Thanks for your time. Peace.♧

#Humming #ADHD #CPTSD #DistractMe #Anxiety #hums #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Autism #Aspergers #PervasiveDevelopmentalDisorders #ASD #AutismSpectrumDisorders #Stimming #stim #BodyFocusedRepetitiveBehaviors #BFRBAwarenessWeek #ADHD #CombinedPresentationADHD #noise #Music #Selfsoothing #Soothing #Calming #Depression #neurodiverse #neurodivergent #distraction #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #obsess #obssess #Singing #ThroatSinging #noise #Movies #TV #Drama #Fidgety #restless    #DisruptiveImpulseControlAndConductDisorders #impulsive #compulsion #Habit #habitual #Misophonia #

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What do yall do to help yourself focus whenever you are having a hard time doing so?

It seems that I can't or am unwilling to focus right now. I know it's from an underlining fear of failure, and that perceived "failure" saying something about my value as a person.
How do yall conquer the fear?
#CombinedPresentationADHD

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How untreated ADHD turns into depression and anxiety

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is just so painful some days. Not being on a stimulant makes it a bit more painful sometimes.
There are days when I just look at ADHD as honestly just so upsetting to have to deal with every day. I am hopeful that it’ll get better ❤️‍🩹 #CombinedPresentationADHD #ADHDInGirls #ADHD

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MOVIE IDEAS

Does anyone know of any good movies with ADHD characters or a movie about ADHD? Preferably Adult ADHD, but any ADHD type movie will be good.
#ADHD #CombinedPresentationADHD

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QUESTIONS.....

4 yrs ago at age 43 i 2as diagnosed with combined type ADHD. Im curious about the stimming aspect. Im not sure if what I do is a stim or tic. Also if it's either or, is it due to ADHD? If not, then what? Why do u do this? Most of not all the time I don't even realize I'm doing this unless someone tells me to stop. Here is what I do:
1. Squint my eyes or repeatedly raise and lower my eyebrows.
2. Hum. CONSTANTLY. No tune, just whatever sound sneaks out of my mouth. This has been distruptfull in the past. I do it till I'm in tears and out of breath.
4. A throaty constant moan when I am tired.
5. ALL DAY, EVERYDAY my fingers on my non dominant left hand are in constant wiggle motion, sometimes they flex, and sometimes any one finger will stand up, it involuntarily goes up. My joints are kinda sore by the and of the day
6. Rub my left thumb and index finger together CONSTANTLY.
Anyone here who can answer any/all of my questions? Thanks so much! #Stimming #CombinedPresentationADHD #Anxiety #Depression

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ADVICE/IDEAS

For work today all day, I'm supposed to just read about my new position at my job. We have training on it tomorrow. Problem is, I have no clue what I'm reading about, therefore I'm not retaining info, and it's boring PLUS I have to do this all day. Any advice or things I could be doing to help myself? Boss is working from home, I'm in the office. I have tons of fidget toys. I can hear my coworker talking. I cannot move to a different room. 47 with combined type ADHD. #CombinedPresentationADHD #hypersensitivity #Anxiety #Depression #overwhelmed

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