Suicidal Ideation

Kind lover, father's daughter
Loyal friend, caring mother

Someone as rare as you
Is like finding that one in a million
You might be gone
But you'll never be forgotten

The phone won't ring again
From you calling just because
No laughing uncontrollably
You were there when no one else was

We could talk for hours, you & me
The definition of what a best friend should be

Smiling as we reminisce about the good ol' days
You would want us to keep moving on
Laughing as we reminisce about your old ways
You would want us to keep having fun

We're all wishing this just wasn't true
Words can't explain what we're all going through
We're all feeling down, feeling blue
Words can't explain how much we miss & love you

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #Journaling #Addiction #Depression #MentalHealth #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #Selfharm #MightyPoets

Kind lover, father's daughter
Loyal friend, caring mother

Someone as rare as you
Is like finding that one in a million
You might be gone
But you'll never be forgotten

The phone won't ring again
From you calling just because
No laughing uncontrollably
You were there when no one else was

We could talk for hours, you & me
The definition of what a best friend should be

Smiling as we reminisce about the good ol' days
You would want us to keep moving on
Laughing as we reminisce about your old ways
You would want us to keep having fun

We're all wishing this just wasn't true
Words can't explain what we're all going through
We're all feeling down, feeling blue
Words can't explain how much we miss & love you

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #Journaling #Addiction #MentalHealth #Depression #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #MightyPoets

My appointment went okay. We did a lot of workshopping over my medication. He didn't want to admit me (plus no beds), but he gave me another appointment this week.

#SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Anxiety

I have my appointment with my psychiatrist in 4 and a half hours. I'm worried that I won't get admitted, and I'm worried that I will get admitted. I've had poor in-patient experiences in the psych ward. I think it's the safest place for me right now though. I just don't like that I will lose control of things. I won't be able to control my medications, things will be taken away from me, etc. I'm just really stressed. Especially about not being admitted.

#SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe

I don't know if this is something I can post but I just wanted to get it out there. Maybe someone else is feeling the same way.

Always loving
Now that's missing
Tossing
Turning

Everything's changing
Constantly regretting

I keep exploring
Don't know where I'm going
No way of seeing
No way of knowing

Quickly moving
I see me crashing

Emotions running
Sanity ungluing

Why am I living?
What am I doing?
Where am I traveling?
Who's even noticing?

No one's hearing
What I'm saying
So my yelling
Turns to screaming

---

Here I'm talking
Is anybody listening
No one's there caring
The pain is stinging

Time is ticking
Time is passing
I'm not playing
I'm not joking

What is happening?
Tears are flowing
Hard time breathing
Vision is fading

Body is numbing
Heart is crushing
Blood is pouring
I need reviving

I feel like I'm falling
But who's there catching?

Was that me jumping?
Or was I dreaming?

#SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #MightyPoets #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #Journaling #Addiction #MentalHealth

I love to write. I've mostly journaled but every now & then I write a poem. I really like how this one finally came together. I don't know if anyone will like it but maybe. It doesn't have a title.

Always loving
Now that's missing
Tossing
Turning

Everything's changing
Constantly regretting

I keep exploring
Don't know where I'm going
No way of seeing
No way of knowing

Quickly moving
I see me crashing

Emotions running
Sanity ungluing

Why am I living?
What am I doing?
Where am I traveling?
Who's even noticing?

No one's hearing
What I'm saying
So my yelling
Turns to screaming

Here I'm talking
Is anybody listening
No one's there caring
The pain is stinging

Time is ticking
Time is passing
I'm not playing
I'm not joking

What is happening?
Tears are flowing
Hard time breathing
Vision is fading

Body is numbing
Heart is crushing
Blood is pouring
I need reviving

I feel like I'm falling
But who's there catching?

Was that me jumping?
Or was I dreaming?

#SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #MightyPoets #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #Journaling #Addiction #Depression

I bought a weighted blanket. When I feel a panic attack coming on, I get under it, and it staves the worst of it away.

#SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Spoonie

My anxiety is out of control to the point where I want to end it all just to get rid of it. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Tuesday, so I'm just trying to wait it out until then.

#SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #MentalHealth #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder