Suicidal Ideation

Hi, my name is princesss_Arley.

#MightyTogether #BPD #Anxiety #ADHD #PTSD #EatingDisorder #BodyDysmorphia #BulimiaNervosa #BipolarDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Dysgraphia #Dyslexia #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

... and the end of them.
I don't want support or fake encouragement, I want the power to die with the dignity that I will never have in this Neverending painful existence some called life.

PLEASE NO RELIGIOUS COMMENTS, THANKS.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #Depression #ChronicIllness

The tricky thing about shame seems to be that it’s both the cause and the effect. I have extreme shame about my trauma responses. I can’t even talk about it. I’ve talked with my therapist a little and it’s helped minimally. She said “what is normal, anyway?” which made me feel even more insane. I self-isolate all the time. I hate being around large groups, and especially around men. My marriage is totally falling apart which perhaps it was time and this is only the catalyst, but we have three children and I am still emotionally dependent on him.

I was a normal woman before this. I was. Now I’m an empty shell.

I’m tired of trying. Ready to throw in the towel. Getting my will notarized and saying goodbye to this cruel world soon. The suicidal thoughts will never cease. I’ve had them since I was as young as I can remember. And here I am at 55 wanting to just go away, be gone. As trite as it sounds, everyone will be much happier without me.

#PTSD #ADHD #SpinalStenosis #Osteoporosis #Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalIdeation

It's so easy to just take these pills in my palm and end it all wit nth to live for yet still nth to die for im too far gone#suicidal #SuicidalIdeation

Lately, I've been in mind, and I can't seem to find a way out this time so I've been acting like I'm fine my hearts beating out my chest, can't get it to slow down I been feeling stressed I can't even breathe, I think I'm depressed I can't sleep, I just think i need some rest. But this anxiety's leaving me nothing left. I'm feeling alone, lately, I'm losing control I might just drive off the road, feel like my heart too cold i feel like I'm losing control, and maybe I'm far too gone

#Suicide #SuicidalIdeation #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder

As of right now I'm okay, I think. I don't know how to feel. I'm not sad but I'm not happy either. I'm awake at least, but it's only when I'm awake that I think about dying. I will be okay I think. but it's hard to think with a million thoughts.#SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #Awake

I’m not sure what I’m thinking
Or feeling
Confusion is around
For sure
Sadness
Disappointment
Anger
Resentment
Understanding
All of the big uncomfortable ones I guess
My belief is everything heals with time
My partner and mom will one day come together
With time
Happiness will come with time
Everything that is meant to happen
Will happen
In good time
But then
I’m stuck
The anxiety
The spiral
My reactions to the spiral
Suddenly I can’t think about time
Just these next few moments of
Me and the situation
The situation of
Yes
You are right
Nothing will be okay
And then I remember
I’m alone
No one to actually hear how i feel
Can’t make anyone look bad
So if i can’t tell them about how I feel
And theses big feelings scary feelings
I isolate myself
Don’t text my friends
No interest of the outside social media life
I can’t call my mom
Or at least tell her how I am doing
Because it goes back to
Okay I if I don’t do a “thing” to myself
I have to trust in time and that everything will be okay
But im stuck
I’m not okay
But I’m not okay trusting in time
Sometimes when I’m down and suicidal
All i want is to call my mom
All i want is to be held by her
But I’ll try to keep trusting in time
#SuicidalIdeation #Depression

The fact is, no one can truly understand the depth of someone else's suffering or the reasons that could drive a soul to such desperation. Only God knows what is in a person's heart (Psalm 139:1-2). Only the Lord knows the extent of pain that might bring a person to the point of suicide.#SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #SuicideAttemptSurvivors