TryingToStayPositive

I know how important voting is and that it’s a privilege to be able to vote (specially being a woman) but this election has been a huge trigger for me. My abuser was always very head strong and out spoken about his political views and opinions and whenever a president was elected he didn’t think should be in office it was like the end of the world (literally) so then he would talk about all the bad things that were going to happen to the world and people. It Used to keep me up at night as a kid worried about things my little mind couldn’t comprehend. Anyways I just have found this election to be a huge trigger for me and has given me a lot of anxiety To hear people talk about and post on social media. I had to stop watching the news. Weird how something so simple can be such big triggers for people with bpd. But I am feeling a lot of love in my heart today regardless. #prayingforpeaceandlove #nomatterwhat #BPDtriggers #TryingToStayPositive

I started having symptoms in December of last year and have been seeing a rheumatologist since January. I've had a few blood tests show my DS DNA test is a 6 and it has yet to change. My doctor thinks I'm in the early stages of lupus but I haven't officially been diagnosed yet and has started me on hydroxychloroquine. I've been taking it since April and don't really feel like its working. I'm always exhausted, joint/muscles pains, and over the last few weeks I've developed constant muscle twitching and body spasms. Not knowing what's going on is terrifying and it's really started to cause me to be really depressed. I work at an oncology office and seeing/talking with patients about their struggles makes me feel like things could always be worse, ya know? I try to remind myself to be thankful but it's getting really hard to stay positive. #ChronicPain #TryingToStayPositive

Just Clocked In To, Work. Let see How the day Goes #TryingToStayPositive

When you think you are actually having a really good day, able to eat without throwing up, belly isn’t bugging you too bad. So you make plans to go to the beach and all of a sudden your belly decided “not on my watch” ugh so over this. #TryingToStayPositive

It has become a yearly thing. Stand in line at the DMV to take my permit test. Its been four years now, and I've watched a majority of my friends get their licenses six months into having their permits. I wish it didn't bother me so much... I know I will get there and that I will hold it in my hands proudly, but I can't help but be jealous how little time it took them. Most of it isn't my fault, due to car issues and modifications in the car, but its daunting to watch everyone celebrating the thing you desire most. On top of everything else, I have to go through a different process than everyone I know due to the modification to my steering wheel. It includes paperwork and interviews and it makes me look in the mirror at myself in disgust. I want this so badly, but being positive is hard. Each year that passes I feel more distant for not being able to meet my goal.

So I wrote linear algebra this morning. The flare has been building up since last week though, but my body just couldnt hold on any longer since after the test. Now everything hurts, especially my chest and joints (writing sucks right now), the infection (11th time this year for absolutely no reason) is getting worse and I can barely keep my eyes open to continue studying. I have been trying to just do damadge control and keep my stress levels under control, ie. leaving what I can and minimizing what needs to be done and how well. We are writing statistics tomorrow, investment management the day after and then applied maths and economic worldviews back to back on Friday. Please send some cheery motivational quotes to help keep me going. All my friends are super stressed out as well and they dont need my stupid sickness affecting them as well. I mean I wish I didnt have to deal with it now too, so I am just giving them a breather. Tanks guys! #strugglingstudent #actuarialscience #TryingToStayPositive #Stressedout #getittogetherbody

I have depression and anxiety and so I had this one job for years and left because it was time for me to go and I have this new job and it’s amazing. Thing is the first week, I had to be there at 7:30am at my old job it was 9:30am so it’s taking me a while to get used to it. Is it just me or when this happens I get exhausted and I go home and cry. Same thing happened today since I was up at 4:30am and started at 6am and went to a bunch of different job site something I’ve never done before it’s a lot of change going on but yeah that’s basically what I feel and I’m impatient and I want to my best and I get frustrated that it’s a learning process but I just want to get to the point where I know how to my job automatically it just gets me down that I can’t do that :( #Newjob #Impatient #overwhelmed #TryingToStayPositive