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It's A Great Day for an Episode

I went to Disney World's Hollywood Studios (Florida) when I was little, my Dad participated in the Indiana Stunt show as a volunteer, back when they had them. I remember crying saying I wanted Daddy because I was afraid he was gonna die or go away.

It literally hit me hard today as I went to approach the seating area to watch the show today!

I felt like I was punched in the chest and could not breathe. I had to take medicine and within about 30 to 40 minutes began to feel better. It didn't help I had to try to hide my tears, sobbing and walk with tears in my eyes.

I try so hard to not let this still hurt me, but it does. I think I cannot ignore it, and that it's just going to continue to do what it does. Especially since it's coming close to the date he passed away just one year ago March 7, 2022.

I wish I didn't feel such grief. But.. at the same time, it shows that I loved my Dad.

I realized I have to pay attention to myself more. I started off very irritable. Then it went into a sort of blank state or unawareness, then I became anxious, then saw the stage, thought of my Dad, and then BOOM.

The other day I was hypomanic. I realized I didn't stop talking the whole 45 to 55 minute drive on the way home.

No One said anything to me until later my cousin was like "You had a lot to say today."

I was like oh shit 😡 I talked non-stop. Dude, as I get older, the bipolar disorder is harder to deal with.

I don't want to be a negatively charged person, or emotionally charged. Otherwise the discharge is required and I become emotional and sad.

What is #Wrong with me?

#BipolarDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#PanicAttack
#WaltDisneyWorld
#WishThisDidNotHappen

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Memory Lane

Hello Everyone!

I believe we have officially kicked off the #Holidayseason here in central Florida. I am #excited but #sad at the same time. Do you know what I mean?

You see, the time change, mixed with the days being shorter, mixed with #Bipolar II and #Anxiety , it's pretty #horrible .

I am a mix of excited for the decorations around the #ThemeParks and I am looking forward to seeing what is happening in #WaltDisneyWorld next.

I do feel #Loved and #Supported , but I know that I am not 100% where I thought I would be at this point in #Life . Perhaps we have an illusion we are supposed to be something else, when nature always happens?

Let's hope this #Holiday season is #good for you!

How do you #celebrate the holidays?

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Choose Joy

I had a wonderful time visiting #WaltDisneyWorld here in #Florida . I know how busy it can be visiting central Florida theme parks. Especially since I work in a #themepark It kind of wears you down. However, lately I have felt a bit of a buzz of energy. I don't know if it is the #Holidayseason or if it is #Hypomania .. but is welcomed.

I do feel stronger lately, despite having some serious #PMDD concerns. Prozac medicine makes you feel like you have some kind of a band-aid on whatever emotion you are feeling. It is so weird that I do not know entirely how to best describe it in words.

Have you ever taken #prozac before? If you have, let me know what it makes you feel.

Do you have any plans for this #Holidayseason ? If so, what are they?

I am really looking forward to whoever reads this and replies. ♡

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#PrideMonth

Hello Everyone!
I am so happy to be here and celebrate Pride Month with you all! Living in Central Florida we see many awesome things in our local theme parks to show love, and equality in honor of Pride Month.

I am so thankful to have each and every one of you as part of this group! We are a strong family and we are here to help one another through our dark times and our bright times. This group is growing day by day and that's a wonderful thing to see. I like to get to know everyone. Would you leave a comment below to say Hi and just say a little something about yourself?

I will go first.

I am Valerie and I love hello kitty. 😁. Hi!!

#welcome
#Love
#WaltDisneyWorld
#UniversalStudios
#equality
#MentalHealth
#Support

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