abandonmentissues

Slight vent////

As I said above, I don't know how I got so lucky. In what way might you ask? Well, to put it simply, my relationship.

My current relationship it's the longest I've been in. a year next month. And I don't know how they still want to be with me.

I have ADHD, Depression, Anxiety (social), Gender dysphoria, Pedophobia, Abandonment issues (Anxious attachment style), and trust issues which can make relationships hard for me. I get easily attached to people, with that lingering feeling that I'm going to be abandoned. Not very fun.

I've had people (mainly friends) just randomly stop talking to me with no reason. And I mean like, most of my friends ever.

My first relationship was pretty toxic, but I stayed with that person because I felt reliant on them. My next relationship went pretty well until they broke up with me and decided then that everything was wrong with me.

So going into this relationship was slightly scary for me. But I am very, very glad I did. I would not change a single thing about my partner. They love me, for me. We are both aromantic which is nice because I don't feel forced to be romantic. We are both Lgbtq in some way which is also very nice.

We are long distance, very long distance, but they still find time to talk to me. We talk almost 6 hours a day when I'm at school. I know them, they know me, and we respect each other. We understand each other's problems and whenever I need reassurance or validation (which I see myself needing a lot of) I know I can reach out to them.

I feel pretty emotionally neglected by my male guardian, which I hate to admit as he tries so hard to make sure I'm healthy, but is just not very good at helping with my emotional problems and always tries to change the subject or say "Well I know exactly how you feel because ....." and I hate saying this but that doesn't help me at all? Is that okay? Or am I asking for to much?

But I know I can turn to my partner for any emotional validation I need. I've never felt that way with someone.

#Depression #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #Pedophobia #ADHD #abandonmentissues #trustissues #neglect #MentalHealth #MightyTogether #GenderDysphoria

Vent////

So I sometimes take online "Do you have -" quizzes just for fun. I never take them seriously (I am not a self-diagnoser) and I recently took a "Do you have abandonment issues quiz" because I was bored. I got "You Most Likely Have Trust Issues."

I sat there for a couple seconds before I announced to myself, 'I have both.'

Which also led me to think 'Its not noticeable.'

If you were to ask one of my parents if I had trust issues or abandonment issues, they might say no. They blame my lack of communication with strangers on my Social Anxiety.

I've talked about this before I think, but I don't like to talk to people because I fear being abandoned. I currently only have 1 friend and a partner who I talk to as I'm to nervous to branch out. Because 1, I am afraid that I will be ghosted again like every other friend in the past 2, I don't trust many people and 3, i am just nervous about starting conversations.

But here's the truth. I mask most of my feelings around my parents. I only recently told them about my Paranoid thoughts. Are they taking it seriously? Oh of course not.

When my mom encourages me to make new friends I just tell her "I'm just to nervous." not about why or about that fact I don't want to deal with more pain that comes with being abandoned. I really can't. And I don't tell anyone because I don't want to seem like some selfish, self-centered trans kid who wants attention from everyone because I can't get my gender right.

I'm lost. I've been feeling less and less emotions lately. When I laugh, I don't understand why. It just seems like a thing I just do without thinking to cover up my pain. And then i find myself going on and on about my life like this and I start to feel bad. Like I'm just taking up space on the platform.

#abandonmentissues #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #trustissues #Depression #LGBTQ

Hello everyone I hope you all are at least doing okay today.

I, a lot of the times in person come off as rude, mean and un-understanding. Which sure I might be un-understanding sometimes, but I never try to be rude or mean.

I just have abandonment issues and really bad social phobia/Social anxiety. I am not good at holding conversations but also have trouble stopping them. I always try to reach out to people I have talked to before. Might be a simple "Hi" or "Hi how are you" but I am just afraid to losing them again. Losing friends again.

But the conversations are always awkward because I have no idea how to hold them. I don't want to push people away. I don't want to lose people. I don't want to be alone.

Anyone else understand this? Like I mean feel the same way? Any tips on controlling the fear?

Thank you for reading and if you comment for commenting.

#SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #abandonmentissues #CheckInWithMe

Hi, my name is ANormalDeer. I'm here because I would like to learn more about other diagnosis's and learn about other peoples experiences and share my own. You can call me Allister or Al.

#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #Pedophobia #abandonmentissues

My Story - I have bpd and I grew up in a household that was very unique/Strange. Well onlookers saw us as strange but as a child growing up it seemed very normal. I had no clue that both my parents were narcissistic. But looking back on things my dad was always leaving us mom would always get angry and take it out on me and my siblings. This happened for years. They said I didn't start talking till I was 2 years old, but I can remember dissociating at age 5 didn't know it was called that then, but it really sucked! My mom regularly invalidated me like it was some kind of game or something, but she had her own thing going own from her childhood and would zone out most of the time. This a chapter out of my childhood. From this I have trust issues and abandonment issues#trustissues #MentalHealth #MentalIllness #abandonmentissues #BPD

So my daughter was with my in-laws all day. My husband was working for most of the day. I tried to have a girls day and invited some girlfriends over. Gave notice. No one could come. I spent the day alone. I’ve lost two jobs in 2.5 months. My self esteem isn’t the best. I’m depressed, sad, tired… and today was just the icing on the cake. However, I take it as a good sign that while I was sad and lonely I didn’t go down my normal path of suicide ideation, I didn’t cry, I didn’t get mad, I didn’t rant on social media… I just tried to make the best of it and enjoy my day. It wasn’t easy. I just as outside in my pool so that helped me being in the nice weather getting some vitamin D and just listening to upbeat music. So I’m proud of myself for that. But I’m still feeling sad and lonely cause everyone was busy or couldn’t come over. #codependent #codependentpersonality #Codependency #Depression #Anxiety #abandonmentissues #Loneliness