ambition

When I was a kid
My chest would fill
With intense pain
Every time I ran.

When I was fourteen
I got dizzy
And saw colours
Every prolonged stand

When I was fifteen
My fingers bent
Past normal and
I loved this misdeed.

Now I am sixteen
My chest fills
With intense pain
Regardless of speed.

(Costochondritis.)

I get dizzy
And see colours
Every time I stand.

(Orthostatic Hypotension.)

My body aches
And bends to lengths
Most can't understand.

(Undiagnosed.)

I never knew
I could survive such pain,
Going day after day
Feeling mostly the same.
And for this,
They give me pity
Because they see not
Where I see beauty.
They see broken hearts
And shattered dreams,
Not the ashes
Where fire starts
And where hope gleams.
Not for me,
But for humanity.
This slight synecdoche
Displays the cores of
Human sanity:
Our resilience
Determination
Ceaseless pliantness
And strong ambition.
We stop at nothing
To stay alive
We keep going,
Continue to strive.

#Poetry #survival #Costochondritis #OrthostaticHypotension #Undiagnosed #Hypermobility #Dysautonomia #Pain #Pity #sickofpity #Beauty #BeautyInPain #beautyinsurvival #shattereddreams #Hope #humanity #resilience #Determination #pliantness #adaptability #ambition #strive #Disability #strength #MightyPoets #strengthinpain #strengthinsurvival #Teen #Poem #poets #Writing

So, being ill got me into volunteering and volunteering got me into charity work. I've run 2 charities but the most recent made my life a misery after they found out about my depression. Back to work schemes don't want to support me into professional work, pHDs or higher responsibility positions. I'm tired of being written off because I'm unwell. Do you guys get that? The more I see of the world the more I want to help with healing it.

If there was a charity you came across on Google and you thought 'this is the answer to my prayers' what would it look like? Who would it be for and what would they help you with?