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Believing Pathologicals

One of the unhealthiest things I’ve done is believe toxic, abusive people. This has hindered my healing and personal growth. As a survivor of both sexual and narcissistic abuse, I’ve had to learn to discern the voices of my abusers from my own. As I utilize mindfulness and my religion, I am slowly becoming at detecting toxic situations. There was a point where I felt trapped by the abuse, it engulfed me. I felt hopeless.
I acknowledge that I still have a long way to go but one of the best things I can do for myself is to discredit those that tried so hard to destroy me. I must put blame and shame where they belong. The weight of my past is not as crushing as it once was. I have to make a conscious effort every day to live in happiness and in the moment. To love and heal myself.
I am not responsible for anyone’s healing but mine. If you are trapped in an abusive or pathological relationship, know that you are not alone and that the best thing you can do is find your authentic self. Be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished. It takes work but it’s worth it. #strengthinsurvival #authenticity

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There's ̶b̶e̶a̶u̶t̶y̶  strength in the  ̶p̶a̶i̶n̶  survival

When I was a kid
My chest would fill
With intense pain
Every time I ran.

When I was fourteen
I got dizzy
And saw colours
Every prolonged stand

When I was fifteen
My fingers bent
Past normal and
I loved this misdeed.

Now I am sixteen
My chest fills
With intense pain
Regardless of speed.


I get dizzy
And see colours
Every time I stand.

(Orthostatic Hypotension.)

My body aches
And bends to lengths
Most can't understand.


I never knew
I could survive such pain,
Going day after day
Feeling mostly the same.
And for this,
They give me pity
Because they see not
Where I see beauty.
They see broken hearts
And shattered dreams,
Not the ashes
Where fire starts
And where hope gleams.
Not for me,
But for humanity.
This slight synecdoche
Displays the cores of
Human sanity:
Our resilience
Ceaseless pliantness
And strong ambition.
We stop at nothing
To stay alive
We keep going,
Continue to strive.

#Poetry #survival #Costochondritis #OrthostaticHypotension #Undiagnosed #Hypermobility #Dysautonomia #Pain #Pity #sickofpity #Beauty #BeautyInPain #beautyinsurvival #shattereddreams #Hope #humanity #resilience #Determination #pliantness #adaptability #ambition #strive #Disability #strength #MightyPoets #strengthinpain #strengthinsurvival #Teen #Poem #poets #Writing