Back Pain

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Sigh

Pauley keeps yelling at me for having greasy hands. She yelled at me for putting one fingerprint on her bag of salami. I'm sitting here trying to schedule my rides for all of my appointments over the next month. I'm actually struggling with -vaguely gestures to all of me- and I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to handle it on my own. I'm stressed out cuz Pauley is going out of town for a convention next month. It's not a big deal, except for the fact she's going to be with her QPP and she has said some nasty stuff about me over the last few years. We went to the movies with her and her husband a few months ago. It went well. I don't hate her, I don't know her well enough.
I think I'm hungry but I have a bad migraine.
Pauley is asleep on the couch next to me and I was just minding my own business and my darling stupidhead let loose a very loud fart. I jumped and I might have yelped in fright. She thought it was hilarious. Then she went back to sleep.
My neck kinda hurts. I don't know if it's cuz of my eye disease or cuz I didn't wear my glasses this week. I finally put them on and my vision is utter shit. My eyes are blurry and I see double. I wish today would go faster.
I'm in so much pain and I need to call my doctor's office to schedule an appointment with my Opthalmologist surgeon and with my headache specialist. I need to get both of them to communicate with each other so we can work together. I'm so glad I have Pauley to help me talk to my doctors at my appointments.
I'm hungry and thirsty and Pauley is asleep still. I gotta go figure out what to make. Popcorn chicken or broccoli in some Alfredo sauce. And my migraine is at 8.5 right now. I can feel it in my eyes and I can feel it in my hands. I don't understand how my eye surgeon said I'm not a candidate for the surgery. She didn't really say what her reasoning is.
I gotta get my doctors to communicate with each other so we can coordinate the right care. I'm so tired of this constant migraine. The constant nausea and dizziness are not easy to ignore. I have some 8mg zofran but they haven't worked lately. I need a break from the constant migraine and GI distress and hips and back pain.
Time for...oh. it's too late for going out for dinner.
I guess I gotta go make food for dinner. But Pauley is very asleep. I feel like if I try to make Alfredo broccoli she's gonna wake up and be upset with me for cooking for myself. But my hunger is stronger than my fear of Pauley being a cranky pants.

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Pain

I’ve had continuous (24×7) pain for about 8 years.

Pain is deep, non-focal and present simultaneously in the front (upper abdomen/lower chest), both flanks, and upper–mid back.
MRI findings are non-explanatory.
NSAIDs, muscle relaxants, and pregabalin have given zero relief.

Because of this, my studies and daily functioning have been on hold for years.

I’m not looking for a diagnosis.
I want to know if others here have had long-standing, MRI-negative, constant pain like this,
and what approaches (pain rehab, central/nociplastic pain management, etc.) actually helped over time. #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #BackPain #ChronicPain

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Mama didn’t tell me there’d be days like this…#AnkylosingSpondylitis #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #Depression

Hurting in every joint. Swollen fingers and toes. Random tears. Back pain that gets better with movement, but you lack the strength to leave bed. And a little 8 year old girl who needs mommy.

And the tears and guilt that follow that last sentence.

I never knew that AS, Fibro, depression/anxiety could all work together to create the (not so) perfect storm.

New rheumatologist tomorrow. Here’s to hoping that a set of fresh eyes will help me. I just don’t have much strength left.

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Jacqui2025. I'm here because I have chronic back pain and Complex Regional Pain Syndrome in my left hand. It is making me very depressed and I would like to learn how other people with chronic pain manage.

#MightyTogether

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I was hangry. I want cheese fries or poutine at the local bar and poutinary, Liberty bar. So I walked into my kitchen and looked in my freezer. Tater tots. Ok that's a start. I looked in the fridge and found shredded cheese, guacamole and salsa. I'm still disappointed I didn't grab the sour cream. But I smooshed the tots and mixed it with delicious things. Oh it was so yummy!
I've got a full tummy, my blankie, Lux Alba, and my music on Spotify keeping me feeling good. Of course now I have to go back to the kitchen for more juice cuz I drank a whole bottle of coffee in about 10 minutes and forgot it was for taking my evening meds. Whoops. In my defense I got very excited for coffee and I haven't gotten excited for much lately.
My neck really hurts right now. The X-ray from 2 years ago showed some unpleasant snafus including my last vertebrae under my skull has calcified to my skull. I didn't even know that was possible. And the spot under my skull where my optic nerves cross each other has narrowed. None of my eye doctors can give me any real answer about what it means.
My eyes are really hurting. My vision has been trashed since I woke up. Double vision and the left eye keeps fogging up. I gotta call to schedule an appointment with my ophthalmic surgeon cuz I asked my ophthalmologist's nurse about scheduling to talk about the pain and she said he doesn't deal with eye pain, I just gotta go back to the surgeon and tell her what's happening. Fun times.
How's your night going?
#bilateralintermittentexotropia
#BackPain #FemoralAcetabularImpingement
#spinalepidurallipomatosis

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2 weeks

The pain came back yesterday. I was hoping it was just a fluke. But of course I'm not allowed to be pain free for more than 2 weeks.
My broken tooth really hurts but I haven't seen a dentist in 14 years. I require sedation. So I basically just said fuck dentists.
It's almost 6am. I've been typing this out for about 3 hours. I have no attention span. I really want maple Spam musubi. *Pause for nap* . My tummy hurts. I got sick 15 minutes ago. Today is luckily a weekend no appointments day. I am gonna take my meds and a gummy and have her put some CBD cream on my back....
*paused for 20 minutes to eat some generic Ritz crackers dipped in mango-apricot-peach for some breakfast snacks*
She's out cold asleep and I don't want to wake her up. I just need a gummy. Ugh this sucks.
#FemoralAcetabularImpingement
#Bursitis #Osteoarthritis #RheumatoidArthritis #BackPain

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Sigh...

Can today be done? My today was awful. I'd sincerely appreciate a mulligan. I burned the roof of my mouth and got a quarter size blister. My tooth is super wiggly and hurts so much. And while eating a few popcorn chicken nuggies, I got too excited and accidentally bit my hand. I'm quite talented at hurting myself. Pauley Holm is just enjoying watching her airplane friends online so she didn't notice. I kinda want to lick her face.
I'm craving pop. I really enjoy the pineapple flavor faygo. It's really yummy to mix pineapple faygo with raspberry or lime sherbet. When I was younger, my family made punch with ginger ale and strawberry sherbet for family parties. I decided to try making different flavors and combos.
UPS just came. I was like yeah I'm not expecting anything and then they rang my door. It was the big jar of CBD gummies that I ordered last week and forgot about. It's a 6k jar so it's pretty big. I ate one cuz I was coughing kinda hard and it made my migraine come back. But my back and hips still feel great. They haven't hurt since Friday morning. I'm a very happy functional puppy.
Suddenly my tummy hurts kinda bad. I think I ate too many pieces of chicken.
My mom is angry at me for not knowing what I want for my birthday. I told her I'd like a gift card for Instacart or Thrive market. I plan to make a very special dinner for Yule for me and Pauley. I'm gonna make filet mignon and lobster. She's never had lobster. It's my favorite seafood. So I want to introduce her to my favorite yummy treatos.
My tooth really hurts. 2 years ago I was headed to my girlfriend's house and eating some caramel puff corn and it broke my back left molar. Then 3 months later another chunk broke off. Then 5 months after that another chunk broke off. So I've got one fourth of a tooth and now it's wiggly and really hurts.
I've had the hiccups quite a lot today.
I got a chance to finally see the quality of my haircut and it's... not good. The front is maybe 4 different lengths. I asked for a 0 on the sides and back but she didn't do it. The front half of the top of my head, the hair is awful and a trillion lengths. I'm gonna see if my neighbor can fix it. I'm not happy.
It's been a weird couple days. I wish we had a kitty.
My heart hurts. I feel kinda sad. I wanted to celebrate my birthday.
#CheckInWithMe #BackPain #FemoralAcetabularImpingement
#Birthday #holidazedandconfused

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I feel something something uncomfortable

My lumbar and my hips don't hurt. But my tummy and my tooth hurt like hell. I think my gums are bleeding again. The molar is wiggly and loose.
The only thing that is going right for me is the injections in my spine. And they were very painful. Made my legs violently shake. Doctor was pleased with that cuz it meant the needle was in the right spot. Fun fucking times.
Pauley made a reference to my weight and it feels like she's calling me fat.
I just realized I was super tense and my back muscles were tight. So I relaxed my muscles and OMG 😳 my upper back is awful. Pain at 7. Sharp pain when I exhale. #BackPain
I'm really struggling with my feelings today. I just feel worthless. I know I'm not but it's how I feel.

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My Experience With Ankylosing Spondylitis

September 17, 2024
Living with a progressive autoimmune condition is BORING. Boring because if you’re not working, all you do is sit at home and if you are working, you have to be careful how much time you take off for appointments and treatment plans.
First, I was a CNA/ medication aide working in the skilled nursing and memory unit section. When I could no longer lift 200+ lbs, I moved to the memory unit/ assisted living section, which was less heavy lifting as the residents were pretty much independent. -At that point, it wasn’t that bad and I was still searching for a definitive diagnosis. In 2014/2015, I was diagnosed with just degenerative discs and sacroiliac joint problems. So, no big deal— it was just back pain right? At one point, it was Fibromyalgia, then that flopped. I didn’t really have any symptoms of that, yet one doc still diagnosed me with it. Very briefly, afterwards, I was diagnosed with MS. That flopped too. It didn’t make sense either. Then, they said that I’m drug-seeking or crazy. So I quit looking for a diagnosis because I felt like I could keep going, until 2020. I had a major surgery, went back to work. 2020 came around and I knew I was feeling worse. I *still* felt like I could keep going.

In 2022, I moved to doing a desk job. That felt pretty good. I was happy and didn’t feel bad at all. I loved the group of maintenance men that I worked with. When something didn’t work out, those guys informed me and they were vocal about concerns or anything like that. I had their respect (I hope) and they had mine. -In May of 2022, I was officially diagnosed with Bechterew’s Disease (aka Spondylitis), a progressive fusion of joints beginning in the spine and moving to fuse what’s called peripheral joints like hips, hands, knees and shoulders. This year, my hands began bothering me, aching. My previous rheumatologist who has since retired had me on infusions for about a year and a half, from May 2022 until October/ November 2023. In December 2023, the new rheumatologist thought it was too much and we moved to injections that I give myself. -Ever since March, things have been going wacky. I woke up one day in March with fever-like aches and chills without the actual fever. The first noticeable change came from a blood test in March where my liver enzyme levels were through the roof (some liver damage). Normal liver numbers are supposed to be somewhere between 25 and 44 and mine were 109. 300 to 600 is when you apparently become jaundice, but they didn’t get that high, thank goodness. The second sign that something was wrong was decreased movement in ligaments and joints. Sitting down or bending anything was next impossible and very little sleep. I went through this pain until about early June and spent those weeks on 80 different medications and steroids trying to get that inflammation down. Fever-like chills and body aches eventually went away. I would wear thick socks, two pairs of leggings and a hoodie during that time. In May, when I spoke to my rheumatologist, she said, "Honey, had you felt like this in years prior?"
"No, I’ve never even had a cold this bad."
She said, "Honey, you’re going through your first major relapse/flare."

For two whole months, from March to May, I had no idea what was going on. I quit my job on May 13th after Cody and I had discussed it. In June, I started to feel okay again after all the medications and injections. My liver was reacting to my flare 🔥 and trying to give me a sign. That was the first clue. All that time, I blamed the injections for the elevated liver enzymes, because one side effect is liver issues. Turns out, I had a GI problem causing this flare and symptoms and couldn’t eat anything solid but noodles with only broth and crackers. We avoided tubes and surgery, thank goodness. When something major happens in your body, your liver can decide to react and freak out. This might not happen to everybody— this was just my unique case. In late July or early August, after all the inflammation died down, my legs became really weak and somewhat tingly/numb. After joint inflammation comes muscle weakness apparently, like an after-effect. I fell about two or three times. I couldn’t hide my gait anymore and I’d rather have my cane than worry about what others think. I found it difficult to walk longer distances than before, so I swallowed my pride, started to use my cane more often and ordered a custom-fitted wheelchair for those longer distances. This is fitted to my dimensions. I went to a place in Missouri and it took a whole hour to measure. Out of desperation, I bought a semi-custom wheelchair back in late May. It gave me some freedom. And recently, I finally got out of this house for an outing that was longer than an hour. I had not gotten out of the house much since March, except for appointments. On Sunday, September 15th, I went to a museum and got lunch with my wonderful husband, using that wheelchair. We were there for about two or three hours. Walking for that long would’ve been impossible ever since all this started this year. It used to be that every once in a while, as I was driving, that my foot would be so weak that it would slip off the accelerator. That only happened a very few times. Lately, after the inflammation dissipated, the muscle weakness and numbness has been more persistent, so I’m getting portable hand controls that will attach to the pedals of my truck soon and I can attach them to any vehicle that I drive. But as of lately, I’m feeling great. After months of noodles and broth soup and crackers, I’m eating normally. I don’t know how long the muscle weakness/ numbness will last, but I’m not dwelling on it. The main focus is going to PT, dealing with treatment and going to appointments. It’s the little things that are worth more than the big things. When you look back, you’ll realise that those little things were actually the big things.

DON’T IGNORE YOUR HEALTH. When something feels off, keep persisting.
#AnkylosingSpondylitis @chronicallyoffline #Wheelchair

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