biploar

It’s astounding how one person can make you feel terrible about “feeling” anything without constantly asking, “did you take your medicine?” And now they’re putting on Facebook: “Tip of the day: when someone suffers from depression but feels better with a medication…. Don’t throw it in their face they have to be on a medication.
That’s all.” The irony in that is killing me. Don’t act like you’re wise but make others feel like crap about having emotions, and assuming it’s always because they’re not on their medication. #Anxiety #Depression #biploar

So I'm doing really well on the outside. I've started 2 online courses, I'm getting up ticking things off lists, I'm self caring, I'm painting again.
But God am I lonely in this hostel room, where I'm not allowed guests & I'm 100's of miles from my friends and family. I miss my puppy (he is with my best friend) I hate I had to leave him to flee. Most days I don't mind I had to flee my home town and leave everything because I feel safer here.. but I fight this loneliness and isolation.
I'm in my 30's and I'm starting over from scratch. It's not easy but I know I'm building something more fulfilling in the long run, I'm finally getting funding for therapy, my life is better here. But the evenings the loneliness kicks in, i need a hug.

I am less than 2 weeks from closing on buying a house and I swear the process becomes more overwhelming each day I get closer. Three constant requests that have to be dealt with immediately, on top of work and the fact that I feel like my sanity is starting to crack. I don't know how much more I can take.

I'm considering just walking away at this point. But if I do that my living situation wont get better. I need to do this but my strength is almost gone. How do I do this? And what do I do when it inevitably falls apart anyways?

I'm trying to find a way not to feel so guilty for not being able to do things that a normal person without mental health issues can. It's hard to accept the limitations that come with having bipolar 1 . Which are many. I'm a God fearing person who loves people. With spirituality comes expectations and that's where the guilt comes in. When I'm unable to meet those expectations because I just mentally can't what can I do to ease my guilt. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Fellow soldier in the the fight for mental wellness

Saw my Psychistrist who prescribes my Psych meds. They have gotten some of my dissociation lessened and had some results with my anxiety and RMDD. My mood swings from happy to numb to sad still continue and sudden drops are still ongoing and "concerning" though. (scary AF to me)
So it's Mixed Bipolar Disorder symptoms, and they asked me if I wanted to start on yet another med to help equalize me. Lamotrigen. I just picked it up and it's sitting on the table in front of me. I'm on so many fucking meds at this point, and the list keeps growing, and sometimes they can ramp up my ADHD.
Sooooo..... I'm scared of taking another med and what it will fo to my brain with the cocktail it's already on and that I worry as well. I'm scared of myself and scared of the sudden depression and drops into self loathing and the ideations that either ssaunter on in like the own the place or ambush me.
It would be nice to take a bath again without being scared of it turning into Ideation and becoming an emotional and mental struggle.
Walk through the kitchen without eyeballing the knives, cook without fear of "accidentally" cutting or burning myself.
Cross a bridge without stopping to look over the edge, and not because I'm enjoying the view or thinking of bungie jumping, base jumping, or cliff diving. Without wondering how deep, cold, and dark the water is.
Or hell IDK maybe cuddle with someone, be intimate, pet the cat, enjoy a joyful moment without worrying about fatalism cock blocking.
But I also don't want to be numb, be a zombie, lose parts or all of myself, become someone else, short circuit my brain, or otherwise make things worse. #biploar #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #MixedBipolar #Depression #SocialAnxiety #SuicidalIdeation #ChronicPain #ADHD #medicationsideeffects #Lamotrigine #medications #Medicationstruggle

Recently diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I have nights that I dont sleep but feel really good. No heart palpitations or panic attacks Then when am hits and world is awake. I start to stress and panic.
Is this something to do with being Bipolar?

With so many misdiagnoses and so many traumatic experiences, how does one really know?