Cantsleep

Oh Utube, excellent! Watching the rain from Utube penthouse! This is truly a vacation for my brain!

How many here can identify with this?

Thats the immediate response when shit just ain't happening right. Then, is it really me (because ive made this up in my mind) or is it them? Why is my life quiet and my mind so loud? I stopped wearing one mask but there's like 5 more underneath that one. I feel like I'm running out of time! I hate that I give more love to others than I do myself. But I love it. Just can't do right. What the fuck is really wrong with me? Why do these meds only work temporarily? I been taking pills for 4 years now wtf!!😳😟Whats my purpose? I'm just walking through life, I can't even smell the roses. I think someone hid them 😂 Wheres the love of my life at? I'm tired of waiting🕢. Am I setting the best example for my daughter♥? Ahhh that feels better. Whew I was gonna explode✴ that let some of the steam out!! Thanks for always listening Mighty. #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #randomthoughts #Cantsleep

I’m stressing pretty bad tonight. I recently moved from Mobile, Alabama to Denver, Colorado. Tomorrow I have my first mental health appointment at the local clinic. I will be getting my usual meds refilled and my #Abilify injection. That part is not scary-that’s a good thing actually. What’s scary is having to go somewhere I’ve never been, be treated by front desk ppl/nurses/doctors that I’ve never met, and having to figure out where everything is and who everyone (the staff helping me) is. I have #Agoraphobia so all of this really amps up my agoraphobia symptoms. I am so scared about tomorrow that I #Cantsleep tonight. It’s almost 2am and I’m wide awake. I don’t know what to do to ease this. I’ve never changed my mental health #treatment team/facility/routine. I’m also worried about not seeing a therapist until May, and I’m worried what if me and the new therapist don’t match? I am trying to rationalize all of this-but do I sound like I’m overreacting? What would y’all do? How to not only get through my first appointment with them tomorrow, but how to find the normalcy and comfortablility in this whole situation?