Cheer Me On

Took a walk just around the block with no cane earlier. Felt so good decided to do it again. Only made it down the other corner to a neighbor’s house. Sitting on their deck. Feels so good to get outside and be around someone other than my dad. Plus they have the sweetest huskies who love me. #MightyMoment #CheerMeOn

I am not telling many people I know about this, but I decided to study to see if I could pass the exam to renew my school psychologist license.

I still am not able to work, as I am still working through various things and I have a lot of symptoms. I am still disabled.

However, I do want to see if I can get my brain to start performing more work/school tasks, if that makes sense. I have weird gaps in my functioning that I am hoping that EMDR will help (mostly things tied to trauma from being homeless and violations of medical rights). I still struggle to concentrate on things, and understand things. But if EMDR works like I hope, my panic attacks will be reduced significantly, I won’t have as many flashbacks, and I won’t be as dysregulated. This will obviously take time. I also have no idea what is going on with my physical health conditions.

I don’t know if I will be able to return to work any time “soon,” or if I want to return to the same field. However, it is a profession that is high in need and it’s kind of a protective factor for me, as well as a test (literally). But one step at a time.

#CheerMeOn #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicVestibularMigraine #Migraine #AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #ADHD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

If something bothers me, I feel itchy until I feel like I have processed it. I need to do a lot of external processing. Idk why. I used to journal but that has been harder for me lately.

So I kind of have been talking about the things that have been really bothering me a lot. You know what I’m talking about. And how it links to my trauma. So I have been taking some action by making phone calls. At two points, I noticed some weird things going on, and I called the news.

They got back with me today; they knew about my history about being unhoused, about my education, etc from the information I mentioned when I called those two times. The woman was so nice and she helped me share my story about being disabled, unhoused, needing benefits, and why advocating is so important for me. She told me “okay, this story will air during the 5:00 news.”

✨✨✨Did I know this was an interview? No. I am wearing a zip up hoodie, dry shampoo in my hair, yesterday’s mascara under my eye from being slept on. ✨✨✨

😂 So I just shared a lot of information about my story on the local news where I grew up. Most people probably don’t know I was unhoused, especially people from my past. I could have decided against it. Especially because my family live here too. But if it gets out to anyone, I really am not upset. I am lucky to share a story about how hard it is because people don’t understand the disability rules. And it doesn’t get brought up enough. And there is a lot of stigma and misinformation I am willing to correct with data and lived experience. I think I have done a good job.

Anyways, let’s see what happens i guess?

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #ChronicVestibularMigraine #AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Disability #MentalHealth #CheerMeOn

#alone#CheerMeOn So much needed to hear from her. She was busy getting her daughter married. Her dog MOMO for short greeted me over the phone.

Big step 🪜 #CheerMeOn #So many medical bills and senior on social security and small pension. Felt like I was begging! Big knot in my head and tummy. Took time to get something to eat.. Hash browns and non dairy sour cream. Yummy 😋.