I want to say about 3-4 years ago I started to debate taking away all of my social media. Politics was becoming rough and like all of politics, we share our thoughts, which generally is a good thing. As time passed I started to see people that I have loved and cared for, for years, start to post ignorant comments. Various mental health subjects started to unearth themselves with this political dumpster fire. It made me feel as if those who I loved disregarded my emotions, those that they knew about, as they strengthened the stigma for mental health. It made me feel so sick. I was a generally social person and was getting even better at how I conduct social behavior. But this feeling inside told me it was time to delete it all. A few people thought that I was being sneaky, hiding things, when they didn’t realize it was them turning into the people I could never waste my time on if they can’t have mutual respect with me. I am always available to listen to any sides and enjoy conversation, but not this time.
I felt great for a long while. I could only see positivity. My chest felt light and I had the ability to continue my recovery.
I learned more and more as time passed. The biggest, unfortunate, discovery that I had learned was “Out of Sight, Out of Mind.” I am not perfect at keeping up with everyone’s specifics, but if it’s a holiday, I’ll text you. If I remember your birthday or a special time, I’ll text you. Again, I’m not perfect but I do what I can. However, on the other side, I receive nothing from anyone.
I wonder how much I can remember about a person in a short period of time to where I will remember that you like ___ movie, etc. A “Hey, What’s Up?” Or a “Remember when we…” Things like that make a huge difference in the world.
I know when you grow up things change. People have kids, get married, move to a new place, fancy job, all of it, and I love to see my friends happy. But without Social Media I’m invisible. I can’t believe that a device can make me become invisible. It hurts. I’ll think of a fun activity to do and realize that I don’t have anyone to do it with. I love exploring on my own, meeting people, adventuring, or just enjoying peace and quiet. But in exchange for peace and positivity by shutting down Social Media, I have become the most lonely that I have ever been.
I truly am #OutofSightOutofMind