total hysterectomy

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    Hysterectomy recovery: I felt better and now cry everyday #TotalHysterectomy #Depression #Anxiety #PMDD #PTSD

    I have finished my Partial Hospitalization Program and I’m now about to start my fourth week in my Day Program. I started the Day Program feeling so good but slowly, my mental health has degraded. This time, I do have my DBT skills to use and they do help, but I’ve started having panic attacks again and I’m crying for reasons my conscience mind doesn’t know.

    The therapists at the Day Program said this is normal when you transition programs. Still, it sucks.

    But this time, well, for the first time in my life, I’m not afraid of my emotions. I’m actually allowing myself to feel them, which is uncomfortable but I think I’m still grieving the loss of my ability of becoming pregnant. That frustrates me because I was never planning on having a child in this world, but these emotions are so strong and I can’t push them down like I have everything else.

    Plus, I had an endoscopy last Thursday and learned that my stomach surgery (partial nissin) is still in tact but my gastroparesis is bad again. I think that might have set me off. I’ve been crying and laying in bed since Friday.

    I wrote a poem to my future child. I’m afraid to show it to anyone because it involves my religious beliefs but it really helped me get out some of the grief. I haven’t written a poem since middle school and I’m not a poetry fan cause it can be so melodramatic, but I think I need to get back into again.

    I didn’t think recovery would be this long and exhausting. But for once in my life, I feel like I can handle it. I’m so sad but not hopeless. #Hysterectomy #Anxiety #Depression #PMDD #PTSD #Grief #Gastroparesis

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    Hysterectomy Recovery: almost 2 months later #Hysterectomy #PMDD

    I woke up this morning and needed to paint this. Almost 4 hours later, I was done. It was then a flood of emotions hit me. I put my hands over my heart and cried as I finally felt the loss.

    I think I can grieve now.

    #TotalHysterectomy #PMDD #Childless #Grief #Depression #Anxiety #elhersdanlossyndrome

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    Just needing to vent a bit. Prayers appreciated.

    I had a total hysterectomy last Wednesday and suffered a lot of internal bleeding while I was in the hospital. I received a blood transfusion and my symptoms were much improved but of course I was still in a good bit of pain. My intentional pain has been greatly heightened since the surgery but I am hoping that will calm down. On Monday I developed a corneal ulcer and now I have a UTI or kidney infection. I know this is the life we live with chronic illness one thing after another but when will it ever end? Just needing to hit the pause button for a minute but of course that doesn’t exist. #Hysterectomy #TotalHysterectomy #cornealulcer #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #ChronicIllnessEDS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #MastCellActivationDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #InterstitialCystitis

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    #Hysterectomy recovery day: ???? Ended up in a psych ward

    Welp... my mood had been decreasing since Sunday night. Monday I had major panic attacks lasting for at least 2 hours. Couldn’t take my clonazepam because of the pain meds from my surgery, so I suffered through. Things escalated from there. I stopped taking my pain meds (my pain was much better anyways) and started my clonazepam twice a day. I slept a lot but when I was awake I was extremely depressed. I felt like I was consumed by a black hole and no sound or sadness could get out.
    I messaged my doctor and a triage nurse promptly called me back. She asked me questions from a depression questionnaire and told me to go to the ER. So I did.
    I was not suicidal or wanting to harm myself or others, I was just... I can’t describe it.
    Well, when they finally called me back they lead me straight to the psych ward. Now, I have never been in one- though I most definitely should have been. They took away my phone and belongings, which I knew was coming, and I laid down in this tiny room with a bed and a table. The walls were a horrible brown mustard color, there were dents everywhere, and windows with blinds. It looked like a 1950’s asylum or a future dystopian psych ward. Basically, I felt like I was in prison for being sad.
    I was evaluated in time and it was decided that I didn’t need to stay over night, but they recommended a partial hospitalization program (virtually). I’ve been in a couple out patient programs and I do not want to be in group therapy again. If you have ever seen the episodes of House where he’s in patient and that group therapy- that’s 100% me but I don’t say those things out loud.
    I did seem to have privileges. I had a phone to call my mom, and eventually she was allowed to come to my cell I mean room.
    They also did blood tests to check for clots cause my heart rate was sky high and everything felt more physical then mental. Tests came back normal.
    The mental health person kept saying how I had a “loss”. My brain honestly does not feel upset that I can no longer get pregnant. I’m not even thinking about that or anything to make me feel bad enough to be in depression prison. But apparently my body has other ideas. Obviously there’s a disconnect. I’m an INTJ, so emotions are not something I am good at understanding or recognizing. But to need intense therapy yet again makes me feel like I’ve failed and frankly I don’t want to talk about anything. I will but I don’t want to.
    On a funny note when I called my mom and left a message I was like “It’s you daughter from the asylum.” And immediately thought of the above House quote.
    I’m still struggling but I’ve contacted all my doctors and therapist so we’ll see what happens next. #TotalHysterectomy #Grief #Depression #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe

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    hello girls first time posting im going in for a total hystorectomy this Thursday any advice or things that I should know for recovery


    #TotalHysterectomy

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    constipation following total abdominal hysterectomy

    #TotalHysterectomy #abdominal #Hysterectomy #constipatiom

    I’m drinking the water. I’m eating the prunes. I’m walking as much as I can (only 6 days post op) I’m taking the stool softener. I am in so much pain. holy shirt balls.

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    Things they don't tell you about #TotalHysterectomy

    When I talked to my obgyn about getting a #TotalHysterectomy she told me a lot about it: they ways to cut me open and take things out; what they would remove, what would remain; how they would blow me up like a beach ball to have room to maneuver; how I would be tired, sore, and couldn't lift or have sex for 6 to 8 weeks. I felt totally prepared when I arrived at the surgery center at 11am.

    But I really wasn't prepared. Abdominal surgery really makes you appreciate how much work your abs do for you every day. Trying to go to the bathroom? Pain. Trying to get out of bed? Pain. Trying to stand for more than five minutes? Pain and exhaustion.

    But also, removing the ovaries results in menopause, and about half of #Transgender men on testosterone still get hormone symptoms. And it's not the slow, gradual decline in the production of estrogen that older cis women get - it's everything, all of a sudden, and my little body can't keep up. I get hot flashes (nevermind that #Dysautonomia makes me heat intolerant to start with), then freezing cold, then hot again. My #Depression is the worst that it's been since I was hospitalized at 13. I'm constantly having #Tachycardia and my blood pressure yo-yos between high and low. I'm. always. tired. I have tremors and keep dropping things I'm trying to hold.

    When will it all go away? When will mu hormone levels even out and my body get used to the new me? No one knows. In older cis women, menopause can last years. Years! And they're expected to just continue on like nothing's going wrong, because it would make men uncomfortable to know that a woman's ~*~ lady parts ~*~ are the source of her troubles. And it's not just older cis women, younger people with PCOS or endometriosis sometimes get ovaries removed. How about cervical and ovarian cancer? There could be a dozen of people around you who are waging a quiet battle with their own bodies because a vital substance for regulating just about everything is just ebbing away.

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    I'm so done with my #Insurance

    I changed jobs for a lot of good reasons, but better health insurance coverage wasn't one of them. I used to work for the State of Wisconsin, and even though our union was destroyed back in 2011 we still had the best health insurance in the area. All the specialties, all the tests, all the medical supplies were covered. I never had to worry about whether or not my insurance would pay for the care that I needed. My new job has done great things for my mental health and my overall life satisfaction, exception when it comes to insurance coverage.

    My new health insurance does not cover my psychiatrist my therapist, the DME provider where I got my #CPAPMachine the pre-op appointment for my #TotalHysterectomy and my testosterone, which is now my only source of sex hormone.

    The thing that drives me absolutely crazy is on more than one occasion I checked to see if a given provider or service would be covered, and I was assured that they will be. Lies, all lies.

    Anyone who says the American health insurance system isn't broken has the 1 in a million really great insurance, or else is rolling in cash so the costs don't even register.

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    Uterine #Cancer Messed with the Wrong Girl! #UterineCancer #Hysterectomy #TotalHysterectomy

    I am officially cancer free! Met with my oncologist on Thursday and they canceled my chemotherapy! The second surgery took the remaining cancer out of the uterus. None were found in the ovaries, Fallopian tubes, or cervix. (They were all removed and biopsied.) Also, they did PET scans on my chest, abdomen, and pelvic and found no cancer elsewhere.
    Now? Just six month check ups from now on! It was finally listed as a Stage I! Which is huge because she anticipated it to be much worse.
    Thank you to every single one of you. ❤️ You WERE and are my support system when I needed it most and I will be forever thankful. You were there for me when I needed you. And you have no idea how much that helped me. ❤️
    Now? I am getting used to life with all my lower lady parts gone. I just started on a half dose of estrogen to try it out. Things sure are different...

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    #peace #LoveYouMore #BeUnstoppable #Warrio ;r

    Hug yourself Beautiful Ones💜
    For me it takes seconds or minutes to hold on every day.
    I’m a #chronicpainsufferer .
    Always remember to love yourself!
    Even tho the pain is 14+
    #FibromyalgiaSucks #Osteoarthritis #MetastaticBreastCancer #MajorDepressiveDisorder
    #kneepainchronic #kneereplacement #TotalHysterectomy ##rectocele

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