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Forgiveness, Trauma, Complicated Relationships and Catholic Beliefs #Trauma #Abuse #Relationships

As a trauma survivor I'm always told that forgiveness is necessary for healing, and yet others say that it isn't necessary. As a practicing Catholic, I know what the church says but when you have complicated relationships with your family then I think that makes forgiveness a little more difficult. I have no relationship currently with my family ever since I spoke up about the abuse I was enduring. They seemed to turn on me and I am still healing those wounds. I used to feel completely let down and invalidated.

I felt defeated and unimportant. I thought that speaking up would make things better. It did the opposite. Other than no longer being abused, I struggle to see the positives. Sure I have a loving fiancé that has been with me every step of my healing journey but somedays that just isn't good enough. I have written numerous letters of forgiveness to my abusers but always discarded them. I felt they either weren't genuine or I wasn't ready. However I have been able to forgive myself for not knowing certain things then that I know now. Yet I struggle to forgive my abusers. It makes it harder because the abusers are family members.

What are your takes on forgiveness? I do want to reach a place of healing and maybe forgiveness one day. I want heal so much that I cannot get triggered. Though having #PTSD makes that a little hard. I feel like if I forgive then I can move on. I know forgiveness is a personal choice but I just wanted some opinions. Ultimately I may follow Catholic doctrine and forgive my enemies but right now I am not there.

#SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #ChildhoodAbuse #Trauma #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Family #Toxic #Healing #Writing #Forgiveness #Catholic

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Spiritual Healing and Transformation

I’m Catholic but I also believe that we are spiritual beings. Recently I have been trying spiritual meditations. They have really opened my eyes and spirit as well as eased some of my mental health symptoms. It has also given me better sleep. There have been instances in my life where I lost sight of the good in people because I was shown the ugly side of humanity. I was sexually and emotionally abused for a long time.
Now however I want to heal and focus on the positive and see the good in people once again. Trusting takes time and it’s a little hard for me but I believe that I can heal. If I listen to my inner voice and angels that guide me and not listen to my inner critic then I will be on the path to healing.
I encourage everyone to try a spiritual meditation. Even if you aren’t sure. It has helped me to stay calm and to look at life objectively. I’m sure that the more I practice the closer I will get to healing. Slowly I am beginning to understand more of what I was put through. Slowly I am reaching a state of inner peace and calm. My hope is that all of you be a light in this dark world.
I am truly blessed to have what I have and I hope to never take it for granted. Though I live with three mental illnesses I know that I am strong enough to make it through each day. My past does not have to dictate my future. I am a radiant and loving woman that can be a light for others. If there is anything I can do to help you please inbox me. My goal is to share my trauma so that others can be inspired and feel less alone. Even on my bad days I hope to inspire. I wish you all the best and pray that you receive peace and light in your lives. For anyone that needs healing like myself I pray that you become healed. If anyone would like any prayers please let me know. You are all beautiful.
Love and light,
#Spiritual #PTSD #Healing #Catholic #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Hope #ChasingLife

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Love does not abandon #CPTSD #Christian #Catholic

Love does not abandon.

My niece loves me. I will not abandon her like my dad abandoned me. It still hurts. I know the pain and I will NOT abandon my niece or my future children!!!

Lord, give me acceptance that I may never have a healthy, loving relationship with my father. Help me place myself in your hands and show my heart that my earthly father does not determine my self-worth. Show me the people that need my love. Give me my purpose. Thank you.

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Coping with depression

Felt so depressed so decided to take my time in washing dishes, then jumped on the elliptical while watching Cobra Kai, stretched and ended up almost finishing up this coloring page to cope with depression. It worked!

#DialecticalBehavioralTherapy #Depression #CPTSD #PTSD #Catholic #Christian


Just Returned to Work

I checked myself into the hospital a few months ago and did some outpatient group therapy. At work today I realized that I was unconsciously doing things to prepare others for my absence at work in case anything happened to me. I realized that I was preparing others at work for my death all because my Dad, uncle, sister, and a friend touched a wound of me feeling unworthy (it all happened within 3 months). It’s painful to be able to see this. Be not afraid of checking yourself into a hospital. Your life is still worth living. #SuicideIdeation #CPTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Catholic

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Keep going #CPTSD #Anxiety #SexualAbuseSurvivors #Depression #Healing #Catholic #CatholicChurch

I am proud of you. Keep going, keep moving forward. I am cheering for you. Jesus, Mary, St. Joseph and your Guardian Angel are all cheering for you 💙


It’s been a battle in my mind with staying present. Yesterday, I realized that my parents never asked me what my favorite colors where, celebrated me, remember any milestones, noticed when I quit basketball in 6th grade, never encouraged me to dream or asked me how my day was going . I would just bring in my straight A’s and it was noted but not celebrated. I just existed but wasn’t seen. They didn’t help me discover who I am. Just a lot of emotional neglect. So, I feel that I now need to ask myself those basic questions: what are your favorite colors? What is your favorite song? Who are you, really what do you want out of life? What interests you?Some more self discovery. #CPTSD #depressed #hopeful #childabusesurvivor #Catholic #Selfdiscovery #HealingProcess


I’m really struggling today the baby girl Vivienne that I lost to miscarriage would of been 4 today. I’m having a hard time coping with anxiety and w

Orry thoughts. I’m all alone noones checking on me besides my college aged friend who I consider to be my cousin he’s very caring and has helped me tremendously and my cousin in ct. this pandemic is making me unwell emotionally and physically. Can people give me support and words of love and care?? #CheckInWithMe #alone #Alonewithnosupport #NoOneFightsAlone #PTSD #CPTSD #CPTSDinrelationships #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlineStigma #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #bipolar2depression #Depression #Anxiety ##OCD #BOR #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Aspergers #AspergersSyndrome #Flareup #Upallnight #selfcaresaturday #CheckInWithMe #FibromyalgiaAwarenessDay #FibroFog #Fibromyaliga #FibromyalgiaDiagnosis #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #HashimotosThyroiditis #ChronicPain #ChronicIllnessStigma #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #PCOSAwarenessMonth #Friends #TheMighty #MightyQuestions #MightyReviews #MightyFeatures #TheMightyTakeaway #TheMighty #MightyFeatures #InsideTheMighty #MyMightyMonth #MightyGreetings #MightyMoms #MightyMail #MightyTogether #Music #Yoga #Photography #artist #Art #Animals #Love #sad #lonely #Lonliness #WritingThroughIt #writer #Poetry #Jeopardy #god #Catholic #Faith #Prayer #Makeup #cry