Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

This is really not good.

Worst case scenario keeps happening. I keep getting told it won’t. I keep trying to tell myself it won’t. I am about to be in my car without resources or substantial support

My foreshortened sense of future is constantly on play because I keep losing more opportunities and time

My hyper vigilance cannot be extinguished bc I still need it for safety.

This is hell.

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CPTSD #PTSD #Trauma #Anxiety #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicMigraines #ChronicVestibularMigraine #CheckInWithMe #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #ADHD

This is really not good.

Worst case scenario keeps happening. I keep getting told it won’t. I keep trying to tell myself it won’t. I am about to be in my car without resources or substantial support

My foreshortened sense of future is constantly on play because I keep losing more opportunities and time

My hyper vigilance cannot be extinguished bc I still need it for safety.

This is hell.

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CPTSD #PTSD #Trauma #Anxiety #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicMigraines #ChronicVestibularMigraine #CheckInWithMe #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #ADHD

Where do you go or what do you do when you’re so stressed it’s making you physically sick. You have suicide ideation but no plan. You don’t feel like you should go to ER or psychiatric hospital but you’re about to lose it being home. Is there a middle place?
So broke can’t go anywhere, family is driving me nuts, husband expects too much from me, bills piling up, disabled can’t work, can’t handle things much anymore. What’s next? #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MentalHealth #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD

I know black people were slaves but like in all the mental hospitals I have seen so much people treated unfairly not only black people. I don’t know why it’s always ‘black lives matter’, it should be about mattering equally and we all should have all the same rights. My dad has a bachelors degree and would never want me dating a black guy. It’s not racist, it’s just their culture.
#Depression #CheckInWithMe #BipolarDisorder #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth #MajorDepression #Disability #Trauma #PTSDAwarenessMonth #CPTSD #PTSD #Suicide #Selfharm #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #Psychosis #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders

I know black people were slaves but like in all the mental hospitals I have seen so much people treated unfairly not only black people. I don’t know why it’s always ‘black lives matter’, it should be about mattering equally and we all should have all the same rights. My dad has a bachelors degree and would never want me dating a black guy. It’s not racist, it’s just their culture.
#Depression #CheckInWithMe #BipolarDisorder #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth #MajorDepression #Disability #Trauma #PTSDAwarenessMonth #CPTSD #PTSD #Suicide #Selfharm #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #Psychosis #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders

I just tried to get food at four different places.

I had a massive panic attack at each one.

My case manager won’t be in next week. I can call her boss but there won’t be any immediate physical assistance for at least a couple of weeks.

It’s not even just money. It is partially.

It’s that I am physically getting sick with panic before I can even complete the steps of doing the thing.

It used to be I had a hard time paying bc my card would get declined sometimes
Then I would have a hard time going into stores
Then I would have a hard time making decisions
Then I could only get a couple of items
Now I can’t get through the process of getting anything.

I dissociate and lose things. Important things. Like my phone

I don’t have anyone to call.
I tried asking for help for 12 hours this morning and I didn’t get a response.

I sit in crisis by myself sometimes for days.

Three of my medications have been interrupted.

I am fighting for my basic rights to be respected by two agencies.

I lost my core support.

I don’t have enough money for food.

I am going back to a place where I am not even acknowledged and there is a countdown for me to be out on her streets. By my former best friend.

I don’t have anyone to show up for me.

I am homeless, about to be living in my car.

People say to talk but when I try they can’t handle it.

And this is the one place I feel heard. (Thank you)

There is so much more. I am so scared.

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CPTSD #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #ADHD #ChronicVestibularMigraine #Migraine #ChronicMigraines #Trauma #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #CheckInWithMe

I just tried to get food at four different places.

I had a massive panic attack at each one.

My case manager won’t be in next week. I can call her boss but there won’t be any immediate physical assistance for at least a couple of weeks.

It’s not even just money. It is partially.

It’s that I am physically getting sick with panic before I can even complete the steps of doing the thing.

It used to be I had a hard time paying bc my card would get declined sometimes
Then I would have a hard time going into stores
Then I would have a hard time making decisions
Then I could only get a couple of items
Now I can’t get through the process of getting anything.

I dissociate and lose things. Important things. Like my phone

I don’t have anyone to call.
I tried asking for help for 12 hours this morning and I didn’t get a response.

I sit in crisis by myself sometimes for days.

Three of my medications have been interrupted.

I am fighting for my basic rights to be respected by two agencies.

I lost my core support.

I don’t have enough money for food.

I am going back to a place where I am not even acknowledged and there is a countdown for me to be out on her streets. By my former best friend.

I don’t have anyone to show up for me.

I am homeless, about to be living in my car.

People say to talk but when I try they can’t handle it.

And this is the one place I feel heard. (Thank you)

There is so much more. I am so scared.

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CPTSD #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #ADHD #ChronicVestibularMigraine #Migraine #ChronicMigraines #Trauma #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #CheckInWithMe