Dementia

Hi, my name is Verobeach2025. I’m interested in any advice for my mom, who has Frontal lobe and vascular dementia. Currently, hallucinations are a real concern (Sees people and has discussions, has lizard like critters in her apartment and certain shows on TV can see her and talk with her. If you’ve experienced any of this with a loved one, what was the most effective thing you did to hel? Also, any advice to help neuropathy pain in legs and feet? Thank you!
#MightyTogether

My wife blew her top at me yesterday as she received official warning not to drive from the driving authority in the UK. Again it's my fault, not hers, yet she's the one who is driving erratically. I get blamed for snitching to the authorities but it was her that wanted the investigation and her that has the problem but I am the traitor betraying her secret that isn't a secret (I can see it's bad and eventually so would every other road user she came into contact with: her eldest step sister was finally stopped by the police when driving and she had Alzheimers as did the eldest step brother - different mum, same dad). With my wife it is dementia as with her mother but things have speeded up over the last few years

When "Don't talk like that" really means "You need to just suffer silently, please" the scars can run deep.

There are a lot of unique circumstances leading up to this, but my circumstances have nothing to do with why this is important. I'm writing because I want to help save someone. The person I want to help is suffering, and it's slowly getting worse. This person lives with a harrowing agony and is suffocating inside. You might even know this person. You might even be this person. If so, this is for you and I need you to know that you are not alone.

My name is Heather. I am living with knowing, seeing, feeling, and hating the fact that I am dying. In my opinion, it doesn't change anything whether a person is dying from a terminal illness, suicidal ideation, or killing themselves with an addiction, there's still inevitably a deep suffering involved and an excruciating loneliness that only adds to the level of pain one experiences.

Years ago, I told my mom about some of my medical conditions. My mom essentially expressed her opinion that I am just too full of self-pity. She called me a victim. She went on tell other members of my family that I was only claiming my conditions to get people's attention. I'd like to address her claims now. She said I am too full of self-pity. Maybe she's right. I admit to moments (more now as my condition progresses) when I am absolutely feeling sorry for myself. Who wouldn't? I lack grace and dignity sometimes. If she could do this better than me, by all means, I'd like her to teach me how. She said I am a victim. Really? No, mom. I am not claiming victim. Yes, it sucks. No, I am not always grateful to be alive, but I am not running around blaming anyone for what's happened in my life. I go directly to God and tell him when I'm pissed off because this sucks, but I am not playing victim. She also said I was just trying to get people's attention. Am I? OF COURSE I AM! But not like she thinks. I am scared, sad, angry, lonely, and I don't know how to cope. I'm creating a will, sorting out which of my beloved things will go to whom, wondering when I pay a bill if I'll be here to do it again next month, checking things off my bucket list, making sure people know I love them, and still trying to navigate like I'm normal. I pretend to have strength I don't have. I fake like I think everything is going to be ok. I put on makeup when I don't care how I look, wash dishes when I don't really care if they're dirty, and I google funny jokes just so I'll have stuff to talk about that isn't depressing. I do al l kinds of things that don't make sense. But if attention seeking was really the truth, wouldn't I make up a better story? Like I won a prize or something? Then I'd get happy, celebrating attention.

I ache to feel some kind of connection with anyone who can relate, or with anyone who might just need to be heard.

I haven't had a full on migraine in ten years (vomiting /headache) but today I ended up feeling a little queasy and then noticed a blind spot, followed by a growing zigzag from that point on (stressful day yesterday for my wife, who has been banned from driving because of dementia problems but a full assessment and driving test may clear her)