Adrenal Cortical Carcinoma

I haven’t been feeling great lately. There have been so many things that are weighing on me.

Have been having lots of anxiety over being overwhelmed and in Freeze mode with my school assignments (to the point that they are already overdue). I feel helpless and trapped, and defeated.

Then I also lost all access to the PTSD sub on Reddit which I relied on a lot for support for the repercussions of a really violent SA I had experienced in 2021, and had all of my Reddit accounts permanently banned this past weekend — and they blacklisted my IP address and device MAC address, so I can’t make any new ones even with VPN — all because of a careless mistake I made on the title of a post on the r/medical sub, which I then tried apologising and explaining to the sub mods about to try and get the sub temp suspension lifted where they muted me after i sent them 2 completely respectful messages. I used an alt acc to ask why they muted me, and they perm banned that alt account, threatened to report me to the Reddit admins for ban evasion, then muted me again. Over a month after I served the temp ban on my main account, I forgot about the existing perm ban on my alt, and when I used my main acc to post another (completely different) question, the mods reported me to the admin. Now all my accounts and any new accounts have been / are being permanently removed from the site. I’ve tried to apologise to the Reddit admins during my appeals, and beg them to just let me have one account to stay on the PTSD sub because I need it (it is a major resource for me since I don’t have much support in real life outside of weekly therapy), they just keep rejecting me. I think they are not even bothering to reply to my appeals anymore. This has caused me to feel a lot of panic, desperation and helplessness.

I’ve also been feeling pretty shit about myself and my place in my family (and the world, really). I feel like I’m wasting all their money. I’m a student and am trying to find a part-time job, but my salary from a PT job barely covers 80–90% of my expenses on meds and therapy alone. My family offers to help me and they are already paying for my schooling. I feel like a burden and that they hate me for wasting their time and money. That they don’t, they can’t, love me. I’m just a leech on their time and savings. Maybe they think I should be dead so I stop being such a burden. My mum is always more frustrated with me than my older sister, even just for sleeping longer than everyone else in the family because I’m severely depressed and always tired. That me sleeping in later into the day ruins the ability to keep the house clean because my room can’t be cleaned by our live-in helper on schedule (she has a very loose schedule). I feel unloveable, like everyone hates me and doesn’t want me around.

From all of this, I’ve had a significant uptick in the intensity of my suicidal thoughts again, like attempting has become a matter of time again.

I went to therapy today. First she brought up my schoolwork and we were supposed to work on anxiety about that today. Then I asked her if we could spare 10 mins on the Reddit thing, and the awful feeling of having lost a resource — we shifted to that. I kept apologizing for wasting her time because the Reddit thing is honestly so stupid, and I don’t know why it’s affecting me so badly. Halfway through processing the Reddit thing, a lot of anxiety about my assignment that was due yesterday (that I still haven’t submitted and am pressed to submit ASAP) came up again. At one point she said “you’re not wasting my time don’t worry” and I started crying, bad. She asked me what was happening and I said I felt like I was wasting everyone’s time and money, especially my family’s, and that I feel like I’m unloveable and a burden. We tried to process that. And I feel fucking awful that I spent the 1 hour session jumping back and forth on so many things. I hate myself. I know she said it was okay, it was actually good, but still… what if she’s lying and she hates me too?

I don’t know what to do. It’s really hard right now. 😔Sorry for wasting everyone’s time with this stupid wall of text. I don’t know where else to put it.

#Therapy #Depression #severedepression #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CPTSD #PTSD #SexualTrauma #SexualAssault #emdr

Hi, my name is Sstaves. I'm here because

#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #AdrenalCorticalCarcinoma #AdrenalInsufficiency #AdrenalCancer

Hi my name is Kara Simone and I wanted to share my story. I got diagnosed at 4 years old with Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum after having a seizure and subsequently getting an MRI. I got diagnosed with ADHD in middle school and Generalized Anxiety Disorder in my early twenties.

If you don’t know what Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum (ACC) is already, it is complete or partial absence of the part of the brain that connects the two hemispheres. In some cases, ACC can be accompanied with other brain anomalies. It ranges in severity. I have Partial ACC and my case is mild, it can affect people in different ways.

Also, I was diagnosed with Mosaic Turner Syndrome at 16. A somewhat traumatic appointment with an endocrinologist and a geneticist around that time revealed problems with my fertility. I’m fine with it now though, even though I have my moments. Other than anxiety, ADHD, and Thyroid problems, my health is alright. I had my first bone density test in 2020, that’s an important to do for those of us with TS considering lack of some hormones can lead to bone issues.

Thank you for reading. I wanted to share my story because dealing with things that most effect my mental health and fertility has a huge impact on me and I want people to know they are worthy and not alone. #MentalHealth #Anxiety #AgenesisOfTheCorpusCallosum #TurnerSyndrome #Infertility #ADHD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder

So Today I had a therapy session in which I disclosed some details of me and my friend Amber ending our friendship. We have not spoken since, I would be lying if i said this was easy. I am getting better and I am praticing letting go and all that fun stuff (I.E. Meditation, Breathing,Affermations, Asking for forgivness). At Nights are probably the worst, my want to message her is high during this time. It is not like that is easy either, I have a extra acc that I made awhile ago and It has her added. I have tried to talk to her but she has just read my messages and not responded. I am guessing I this is a clear sign that I should let her go. At the same time her friend reached out to me to check in on her clearly not knowing what happend between us. Once I let him know and all was done, he seemed willing to ask her if she was ok with the idea of talking to me again. I have very little faith any of this will work and there is alot I am leaving out but I hope this has formed a general idea of the situation. However, I say all this to say that I am going to be having therapy on valentines day and I am a bit exited, is that at all weird?

My fp said something kind of hurtful to me today idk if it’s acc something hurtful but it made me feel kinda weird. I met up with him after a month of me cutting him off, he followed me a month after and I gave in. Today we went for walk on a trail and we were talking about how I cut him off and I wanted to tell him why, he is aware that I have bpd and I told him he was my fp and tried to educate him shortly after I cut him off. But today he said a part of him thought it was cap that I was his favourite person bc I cut him off so abruptly, it made me sad bc it was clear that he didn’t really pay attention when I tried to send him videos about it. I tried to explain it but it just made me feel upset and now I’m thinking about it again. Do u think I’m overthinking?!

This morning the Fibro pain has again reared its ugly head- I hate when it starts my day,instead of ending my day( tho that's not nice to be hurting at bedtime,either!). Guess it's the below freezing temperature that's got it going. Don't you( those with fibro) just hate it when the fibro takes over even Before the day starts? It over comes the arthritis,the swollen feet & lower legs,the fitful sleep from the nite,and tired mind from having to deal with it & everything else on a daily basis. Even the pretty sunrise this morning gets hit. Big Sigh. Oh well,such is life when you are used to hurting All Over from an Invisible Disease. #Fibromyalgia ,#RA ,#oa ,#PTSD ,#GAD ,#Bipolar 2,#GERD ,#Insomnia ,#high Blood Pressure,#Allergies to most Everything,#sinusitis chronic,#Teeth problems( likely from meds been on for so long,acc.to dentist),#"covering" how I really am feeling,#bad dreams that carry over into the day,#restlessness ,#So many Meds,#dry Eye Syndrome,#Dermatitis -chronic,#Headaches ,Short term memory loss left over from ECT treatments,#Fibro Brain Fog,#sad ,#Overeating when illnesses take over too much,##Poor Self-Image,#Stagnant motivation,#chronic Talking to Myself-even Out Loud,#Talking & writing too much,#worry ,#Thinking of others instead of me,#people Pleaser,#Procrastination ,#Poor money management,#Ignoring important signs & Symptoms.