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I am currently getting help for my #EatingDisorders and this staff truly impacted my life but as of may 19th she is going different ways in Boston. This is my second time at this program, I remember the first time I didn't think I needed help with my ED and I was definitely doing is for my family and friends, so I showed I didn't want help. we got close after I yelled at her but I feel like It had to happen for us the have a close bond after and I am so glad because she truly impacted my life and she was a staff that didn't feel like a staff. she helped me so so much in the meal space she would always give me advice , eat the same snack , cheer me on we also looked for Becky outside , she loved when I would write chicken nuggets big , we had a plant together , I would talk about life , I would cry and laugh she was amazing and i feel an #Emptyness and I'm not as close with other staff. I'm #strugglling because she is not her anymore

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Honestly, I have no idea how I feel today. I am "emotionally blind" or something? I can't think clearly either, somehow everything is clouded and through absorbent cotton. I'm watching a series and not watching it at the same time. But food is really nice. I am high for months now, I can‘t live without it. I‘m panicking cause I realized that I have to buy it again. It‘s exhausting and relaxing at the same time. I can‘t stop it. #BPD #Borderline #Emptyness #high #Smoking #Addiction

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A glimpse of a human with mental illnesses

Today has been such a hard day for me. I can’t stop crying, everything seems overwhelming. Tired of feeling so alone. You find out how many people are in your corner once you’re faced with something serious. Hence, I’m having my Epilepsy operation the 28th and realizing you have no one to care for you once you’re discharged, is the saddest, most heartbreaking feeling…. At least I have #TheMighty #Depression #Emptyness #whoami #Anxiety #Loneliness

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Physically beside you but lightyears away. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Love #Emptyness #Forgiveness #lack of selfworth #Lettinggo

I love her fiercely. I could write a love story like none before based solely on our life as one...
So why can I not say it to her everyday? Why can I not show her how much my life has changed?... How Every.Little.Thoughtful.Word has pieced together a heart and soul which shattered long ago, before she watched
the pieces turned to sand. One by one. She stood by my side waiting for our time. Watching in horror as everyone from my mother and family to friends and exes break me down. Each day of my 'old life' is filled with memories that bounce back and forth between sleepless nights in fear of the terrors, a painful addiction I have allowed to take over. My mind races, I see the faces of my two little ones. Lost to my mother... But safe and together which is what really matters, still every day I cry for hours on end. Missing them is the only pain worse than the fear I have that one day she will wake up and realize that I am not worth the effort, the time or the headache.
Yet everyday as she pulls me close and tells me that day will never come, that no one could ever take my place and I will be at her side for all the coming years of our lives.
#Loveofmylife #amazingwife

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How does one "let go"? My kid was my reason, for everything I did. It's been over a year and I never want to let go. #MomGuilt #Emptyness #AfterSuicideLoss


Emptyness #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Emptyness

The hardest part of my day is driving home. Walking to my car, I feel alone. Walking to my car, it hits me that I feel alone. I’m scared. How long have you felt this way, Wes? What are you afraid of? How do others cope with loneliness? How do successful and confident people feel when they’re alone? Are they lonely? Do you feel empty? What fills their cup?

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Does anyone else get feelings of happiness in your stomach during anxiety and panic attacks?

It’s hard to explain, maybe more of a euphoric burst of energy. It still a panic attack and I have all the symptoms of one, but I get a burst of energy along with mild butterflies in my stomach. It only lasts a few minutes then it seems to be all over and the anxiety hangover begins. The feeling of being empty, drained, unable to think about anything. #Anxiety #DissociationDisorders #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety hangover #Emptyness

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Confused #Sadness #Emptyness

It’s almost 12 noon now and I still can’t sleep. Listening to gospel music (Hillsong) cause I feel a deep sadness and emptiness and confusion I don’t know who to talk to. 😔