Fixme

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Everybody knows how to fix my crohn’s #Fixme

#CrohnsDisease . Why is it as soon as anyone finds out that I have crohn’s they have the quick cure. Every thing from a food alergy to poorly cooked food and everything in between. They think they have the answer. I have been at this for a long time and this is something that never changes. I have gone through so many medications and so many tests. My food issues change as the years go by and my the variation in my symptoms change as each day goes by. People don’t understand how one moment I’m good and another
I’m horrible. It’s always something I’m doing wrong. When I’m at my worst people think I’m good because I’m down on weight. When I gain weight they think I’m bad. They don’t realize that weight loss and gain can come from any stage of the disease. It gets exhausting to try to explain to people what I’m going through. Feels like I have to justify my symptoms because I don’t show them on the outside. I know in most cases they mean well, but I’m not sure why my issues have to be discussed. I’m use to having to talk about it but it is exhausting and sometimes you I just want to be treated normal and for people to understand that you just have bad times. It seems like once people find out that it is the topic of the conversation everytime. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. If I don’t eat there food, I don’t want them to feel insulted. I think people feel as if I use it as excuse not to eat there food. I love almost all food. Even poorly cooked food. The longer you live with crohn’s the more you appreciate being to eat anything consistently. Chicken seems to always be the cure for some. They don’t understand that I have trouble with standard store bought chicken. “How could that be a problem, chicken is so plain.” I just need to get this off my chest to prepare myself for the coming onslaught at thanksgiving.

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What do you do after you hit a rock-bottom moment and know you really screwed up?

I know in my heart of hearts I need to step up to the plate and work on some things. I wallowed in this for a couple days, and then on Wednesday I decided to go have a drink and socialize. Working at home is very isolating. I sent a text to someone who wrote something very triggering and I just went over-board with my drinking and my behavior. I am very good at self-punishing, guilt and shame. I woke up Wednesday and felt paralyzed by what I did. I also screwed up a very important day with work. I'm hating myself and need some advice/support. #selfsabotage #Fixme #issues

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Struggling

I have a question... Do any of you struggle with decreased libido? Mine is basically non existent, most times I don't even want to be touched. Can anyone relate? Is it fixable? #AskMe #questions #struggling #libido #Relationships #Fixme

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initial intake appts

I have my initial intake appointment for therapy. I'm really worried about it. I hated the last few counselors I had. Is this even worth it ? I don't trust people. #Fixme #Anxiety #PTSD #BPD #Bipolar depression

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Is it just me or

Do you wish that people wouldn’t always try to fix you or give you advice. Sometimes I just need somebody to listen so I can process what’s happening but all people want to do is tell me what I’m doing wrong or what I should do to fix it. Like I’m so broken and they can fix me. It’s not your job to fix me- I just need somebody to talk to but if all you’re going to do is try to fix me then I’m happier to just deal with it myself. #Donttalktome #Advice #listen #Fixme #alone #Inneedofafriend #Depression #Anxiety

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#Depression

Feeling like I’m on that emotional rollercoaster today. One moment I want to cry, the next I want to scream, the next I want to go to sleep, then the next I want to just throw in the towel. Inside I know that I have joy, but I’m feeling horrible today lol.

#Fixme #helpless #hopeless #hurting #givingup

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