Hopeforthefuture

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I Feel Very Confused...

There are a lot of things in my my life that I felt I needed to push away so that I could heal from all of the things that I’ve dealt with. I’ve suppressed my feelings, I’ve made some decisions that may not have been that best for me emotionally, I’ve even pushed away a guy because I felt that it was better for me to leave him before he left me. I try to exercise patience, but it feels like I’m going nowhere fast, or even nowhere at all. Each day meets me differently: I’m either ok enough to get through the day, or I wake up feeling empty, lost, and lonely. I feel very, very confused. Yesterday, I wrote down all that I’ve been feeling, all of my habits, any and everything that I’ve did or done to just survive. A number of those things weren’t healthy and I felt that maybe I need more help than I thought. I’ve flipped flopped over this guy and my feelings for him. I find that I still care for him, I still pray for him, and just seeing him alone makes the world feel a little less dark. I find that I do feel very empty and isolated when he’s not around. Maybe I’m self sabotaging myself out of things that just might be good in the end... I have no idea what the future holds, but I really wish I had answers. #MentalHealth #Depression #confused #selfsabotage #patience #Hopeforthefuture #Loneliness #Emptiness #Pushingaway #Feelinglost

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Finally

I finally found a doctor that believes me and listens without judging me. I got my diagnosis after months of testing and blood work. It feels like such a relief to be able to put a name on my pain. Now here's to hoping my family understands... #Fibromyalgia #finally #diagnosisfibro #Hopeforthefuture #FibroFog

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Newbie

Hello everyone!
I’m new to mighty, I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for the last 15 years. I’m a single mom to an amazing 8 yr old girl. She’s my best friend and brings out all the best in me. I have a lot of things to be proud of but despite everything I’ve accomplished I still struggle. How do I get us up in the morning, make lunches, travel to school and work and then work a full day. Some days it’s almost impossible for me to comprehend before I make my first moves in the morning. But I do it. I do it because I have to. If it wasn’t for my daughter I don’t know if I would be here today. I’m a firm believer that taking with people I similar situations is therapeutic which is why I’m on here today #Anxiety #Depression #Singlemom #Hopeforthefuture #icandoit #TimeToTalk

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Im hopeful things will change #Hopeforthefuture #PositiveVibes

Im hopeful that everything will set into place. I just today started getting out of a dark place I was in. Im remaining hopeful and inspired that everything will get better.

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Im hopeful things will change #Hopeforthefuture #PositiveVibes

Im hopeful that everything will set into place. I just today started getting out of a dark place I was in. Im remaining hopeful and inspired that everything will get better.

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#Thenewme #Hopeforthefuture #strongmind #Selflove

Building a new me feels like building a a house from just dust and rubble... but bricks can be made from dust and rubble, it just requires more effort! The worst feeling for me when I was diagnosed with depression was the feeling of loss of the person I was before. I loved the old me. I loved her chubbiest, her feistiness and sassiness, her stubbornness and her ability to do absolutely anything she put her mind to. And then I lost her due to a traumatic experience in my life when I was 15. The love of my life says I have not... she is in there somewhere... he can see it. But I can’t. And I hate that feeling. But I hope someday I will look back on these years and say “I like the new me better. She is stronger, more powerful and more experienced with life. She knows to expect anything in life and deal with it with strength, grace and happiness”. Until then... I hope and I do what I can to keep myself alive with the help of whoever is willing to be there for me. And even though sometimes I feel lonely I tell myself to be strong because my mind is the strongest, most powerful resource I have and I can conquer the negative thoughts, I can conquer the barriers in my mind that hold me back. Inspire yourself ⭐️

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Not sure how to go on anymore #SuicideIdeation

I haven’t told anyone this but since last summer I’ve planned out my suicide several times now. In the end I find a way not to go through with it. I’m not coping well and use unhealthy ways of coping. I have no friends or support from family. I wonder sometimes if sticking around is worth it anymore. This pain I carry has become unbearable. The depression and anxiety, too much too bare. The self harming and self medicating are barely keeping me above water. This isn’t the way to live. I’m just barely surviving. It seems that’s all I’ve ever known. Pushing the trauma and pain down because another wave of trials and pain are coming at me and I have no choice but to push that blow down before another wave hits me again and again. It’s a never ending tidal wave. And I’m so weak now I don’t know if I can hold it all in anymore. There’s only so much pain I can push down before I eventually explode. And it will explode at some point. It’s like a ticking time bomb. I don’t know when I will just tip over the edge and then I blow up. It’s will be all over. It will be way too easy for me to just end it. And that scares me. I just want to be loved. I just want my innocence back. I just want a friend who won’t abandon me. I want my father to love me. I want this pain to stop. I want this anxiety to stop. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve given up on life. I’m just going through the motions. I’m just surviving. If only my life could help others who suffer, maybe it’s all worth it, even if all I’m doing is surviving. Maybe one day I’ll stop turning the pain caused by others toward myself. Maybe one day I’ll begin to love myself the way I love those around me. It’s a daily battle. Do I let go, or do I keep fighting? Do I bare the pain, or end it? I should have died years ago when I was younger. So many times I shouldn’t have made it. It makes me wonder what purpose God has in plan for me. I try everyday to trust that God has a reason for my life. Why I continue to be saved. Why I always have to bare the weight of the world all alone. #Hopeforthefuture

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