My chronic illness has now made it very hard to do anything physical for very long. I currently I’m out on disability due to the COVID-19 but I was working in the medical field. ##Job #jobseeking #workfromhome#Jobhunting #cronicillness #Fibromyalgia #help
My job has significantly cut my hours and I am care taking for my mother so I need something that allows me to be with her.
I thought I would be better today. I just found out that I was no longer qualified for a job vacancy that I had been rooting for these past few weeks. I was very excited for the job opportunity because it would be closer to home and it will hopefully get me out of the tight working condition that I am in now. I feel so much pain right now that I never thought I could feel. I feel so trapped right now. #JobSearch #Jobhunting #jobseeking #jobchange #disqualified
I’ve been working on-and-off since 2013 which seems like a love and hate relationship. I get way too excited way too soon, but when that sense of thrill, adventure slows down, so does my motivation. I tend to give up on my job before it gives up on me. But this isn’t the only reason why I haven’t found work stability. A bigger part of the problem was LACK OF ATTENTION and RIDICULOUSLY SLOW GRASPING POWER.
I made up my mind during my early days of graduation that I wanted to be a journalist, a field reporter to be precise. Unlike other people, I wasn’t required to sit on the chair for eight straight hours. Little did I know that the reason why I hate a desk job was because I was always anxious, restless and distracted. This limited my work choices. I often made a comparison of my work with other journalist and realised that I wasn’t very good at it. Thus, this comparison led me to rethink my career choices.
I would get extra sensitive when my boss would scold me, when my stories failed to garner wider attention or when I was made fun of for fixating on a particular news story. I was convinced that the world just didn’t appreciate the amount of efforts that I was putting in. I bounced from one organisation to the other. To find “THE ONE” for myself.
I am at that stage of my life where I have a post-graduation degree in social science but no job. Because I am fixated on the idea of finding that one suitable job for me.
So where did I go wrong in my job search hunt in six years?
1. Fixated on the idea of getting a job profile which I SPECIFICALLY wanted. Not ready to explore other work opportunities.
2. Preconceived notions about other similar work profiles hence rejecting them at an early stage.
3. Consciously or sub-consciously sabotaging my work by showing little interest, little motivation and pushing my pre-conceived notions against it.
4. Jumping to a conclusion that the particular work profile was not meant for me in less than a month.
5. Slow progress often demotivated me way too quickly. So much so that it became hard for me to bounce back from it. (Feels like a trauma).
So what can I do about it?
1. DO NOT PANIC!!!!
2. DON’T OVERTHINK!!!
3. Give at least 3 months at an organisation before coming to a decision whether I want to continue with it or not.
4. In case I am not making satisfactory progress, I will approach a colleague or senior to help me out. I will make some efforts to make myself better and not let the introvert nature get into my head.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #ADD #Motivation #Work #stability #Instability #failure #progress #positive #thistooshallpass
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