Hey everyone, I hope it's a good, peaceful day for you.
For me, it's being weird. Well, on second thought maybe not do much.
I just applied for a job. I finally came to the conclusion that if I don't expect to be able to make myself happy, I can at least and some money and move out to make everyone else.
Applying online is easy. You joy one button. No strings attached. Most of them won't call you back anyway so you don't have to expect anything.
Face to face applying is a whole other level. Social anxiety was the first visitor, of course and then... Everything else. The man was really kind but it was like we was calculating the whole time. I mean, I get it. I would have done the same. I'd want to know if the person in front of me is the right for the job.
I played cool and kind as my mind wasn't killing me the whole time. Told him I didn't have a similar job in the past and described where I had worked before. I even had the audacity to tell him I am e fast learner while the voice was getting louder. "You can't do this. You'll suck. You're wasting their time and if they choose you they're screwed. Your mental health will certainly get in the way too." I smiled through all this, gave him my CV and left.
And as I inhaled I was in the verge of tears. This was supposed to be a good step forward. It was supposed to be easier. I was supposed to feel better and I was supposed to feel anxious about him not calling me. I'm so nervous he's gonna call and take the deal and I'll screw everything up.
My mind can't stop. How am I supposed to find a job while being like that?
What do you do when you can't think of any positive scenario and your mind puts you down? #Depression #Anxiety #Jobhunting #Advice #MightyQuestions