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A couple years ago I was diagnosed with Cyclothymia. - Borderline Bipolar. Not considered Bipolar because I always had #stability and worked extra hard because I was a single mom. Up until last year I left my job of 5 years for More money. My life went downhill after that. The day I after I put my 2 week notice in I caught long term Covid and almost died. Lost my vision couldn’t walk or take. Some how I recovered. As soon as I did my kids moved out. I went into a deep depression and lost my job. My kids haven’t spoken to me since they left with a father that was gone the last 6 years. It affected my performance so I was let go after 6 months. And this week a tornado hit my storage and I lost everything. I spent the whole day yesterday in bed crying. I some home had managed to not turn to drugs and alcohol. Trying to cope and feel this but it’s getting out of hand. I go to the gym every day. Just reaching out for kind words and help really. What are some positive ways you guys and girls handle stress. What books have you read that helped better understand what your going through. #struggles #Bipolar #Cyclothymia #basicallybipolar #thinline #help #thissucks

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Braces, Wraps, and Physical Supports - Any Recommendations?

Recently on the recommendation of a friend I got a pair of Mueller thumb stabilizers to wear while driving so that the wheel doesn't torque my thumbs out of their sockets due to my joint hypermobility syndrome. They have made a world of difference!

Now I am thinking a lot about other means of achieving a sense of physical stability using external aids. I realized today that I have been unconsciously using things like shapewear to help mitigate the constant feeling that my body is coming apart at the seams, and back when I was still dressing up to go out I often wore corsets because they made my back feel supported. (My grandmother wore a back brace for all the years I knew her, which makes me wonder if I inherited this condition from her.)

I'm wondering if anyone else is using things like shapewear, compression wear, weighted blankets, wraps, splints, stabilizers, braces, or other physical items on a daily basis to get that feeling of stability and holding your body together, and if so, what do you recommend? #Hypermobility #JHS #joints #Support #stability


Good News and Bad News

I had my first physical therapy appointment this morning, and breathing a sigh of relief because I was not diagnosed with fibromyalgia. At least not yet.

What I am dealing with is rotator cuff tendinitis in both shoulders, triggered by…drumroll…stress and tension. Different diagnosis, same cause. Even if it had been fibro, I would still be treating it in a similar way. I need to up my fitness game and get back to the prehab stretching and strengthening exercises I used to do, so I don’t spend my life doing rehab exercises and missing out on good stuff. #ontheball #Fitness #Flexibility #stability #corestrength #mindbodyspirit


Work & Trust

I discovered this week in therapy with a trusted counselor that I have huge issues revolving around women and trust and betrayal and safety and abandonment and this is so monumental for me becasue I am 40 and have quit so many jobs and this breakthrough is so revealing about my pattern. Does anybody else identify with this feeling? I need work so badly, but I my pattern is becoming detrimental to my financial livlihood. I don’t tolerate any bull s&*t, but I also will just leave a job that I don’t care to spend time at anymore, on the opposite end of the spectrum, when my work energizes me, I lose all boundaries and let it consume my life - having slept at work multiple times, worked for free, and worked 4 low paying jobs at a time - I love to work, but I’m just ….picky? I don’t know what I am….anybody else?

#PTSD #emdr #Work #stability

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Read about a well-managed and stable person with bipolar2?

I've been dating this fantastic woman for a couple of months. Early on — after the 2nd date — I was direct and upfront about my bipolar type 2 diagnosis. She wasn't scared off!

She learns best by reading, and very much wants some written material about dating or being in a relationship with somebody who has well-managed bipolar. Any articles I can find on the subject are concerned with explaining the sickness and learning to accept and forgive the ups and downs; how to tolerate excessive and destructive behavior. That's all valid information, sure... but I'm very stable, and have been consistently stable for six years. My illness is well-managed and honestly not a big problem in day to day life. My shrink thinks I'm totally fine to date, love, marry, and even parent.

What literature — online or actual book — can I give this fantastic girlfriend to educate about living with a STABLE man with bipolar type 2?

#Bipolar #Bipolar2 #BipolarDisorder #Dating #stability

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#stability #reachingout #censureemotions

Interesting! Apparently I really upset the applecart at home. BIG TIME, but I had no memory of doing so!!!! There was trauma, chaos. Aha! On the day in question, I was openly cranky, tired,and frustrated. Some felt disrespected and insulted by my "unsettling attitude." Yup, I was "guilty" of being---------cranky, and of not being my usual self. I have great respect for the relative who informed me my behavior was being viewed in a different light. Communication floodgates opened. Resolved our concerns ( I hope😄). It's #goodmedicine

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Turning 35 #BirthdayGirl

On February 22nd I turned 35. My birthday party was on the 20th. I have not really much had changed. However, I know that #Family is everything. I have been through so much this year. I have been on #Disability for so long.

I realized that it takes time to heal. It was clear that it would take more than a month to recover from years of not getting on the right #Medicine . I thought about how my old #PsychiatricMedication did not work for me. My #Psychiatrists office was horrible. Now that I am in a new practice, I am feeling much better. I am beyond #thankful that things are the way they are right now.

I may not be where I used to be, but I know I am heading where I want to be. I seek #stability in my life. I know we all do. We want to be able to handle issues, problems, grief or loss in better ways than we have for years. #stayingpositive is key to moving forward, but #stayingcalm is another story also. It takes a lot to think positive because it's so easy to be naturally driven to negativity.

Imagine, you hit your toe against the side corner of a table... Yet someone is telling you you're beautiful at the same time. Which are you going to think about more? The voice of the one telling you you're beautiful, or the toe that has sooting pulsating pain up your leg into your brain? This is like #NegativeThinking in action for someone like me.

So... #Cheers to making it to 35. I pray that God helps my Dad's health, and the rest of my family's health. I pray for peace and comfort in times of pain. I pray for my Dad to be #CancerFree and I pray for all who are reading this message.

I may be all over the place tonight.. but I know that #BipolarDepression can only make me stronger.

God Bless You.
So say we all.


I am thankful today

I am thankful today.

I am thankful for sobriety.
I am thankful for stability.
I am thankful to be alive.

I am thankful today.
#Thanksgiving #Sobriety #stability #SuicidePrevention #Recovery


Boundaries #Crazy #irrational

It’s a bit ironic that people push those who have mental illness or emotional struggles to seek o it help. Whether it be a Psychiatrist, therapy, a life coach, or Psychologist they want you to get help. So you go seek help to either get evaluated or to get help for something that you already have but just need a little help. You start working on your triggers. You start working on yourself and your self esteem. You also learn about boundaries and how you need to Protect yourself. You then begin implementing these coping skills, these boundaries. Most often those who kept catastrophizing your emotional or mental state begin hating the fact that you’ve learned boundaries, you’ve learned coping skills. So now these people or said person can no longer emotionally abuse you to distort things, they can’t scape goat you, and they can’t gaslight you. So they begin to manipulate those around you. I have gone through this time and time again with my father, with my mother, other relatives, and in relationships. I get so sick of people’s inability to be accountable for themselves. They deflect, the project onto you to keep from seeing themselves. However, this is the American norm. in our society. So many people CAN’T see it! How do I attract so many narcissistic and manipulative people?!? I feel as if I have “sucker” tattooed on my forehead and I’m the only who can’t see it. To what extent will you let yourself suffer and lessen your quality of life to keep damaged goods in your life? Do the cons outweigh the pros? I’m at the point in my life that I no longer live for the comfort of others. I feel what I feel, I can rationally explain my thoughts and emotions. I know the “why”. I have no idea when my last day will be so I will not live my life for the comfort of others. Family, friends, anyone! Blood doesn’t mean anything. I have my chosen family, an amazon partner who agrees with my life choices. Good riddance to bad rubbish. My life is just THAT, MINE! I don’t feel obligated to make anyone more comfortable than myself. I am number 2, because, my kids are number 1. They’re little emotions and lives are the only things that mean more to me than me. #Parenting #MentalHealth #boundaries #exes #stability #Mycomfort #nooneelsematters


How to get over instability

I have had a fear of stability my whole life. Now that I am 30, it has to stop somehow. Scared of staying in friendships, scared of staying in jobs, scared of community, romantic partners, etc. Always afraid they will find out how different or odd I may be and rejection will occur. The fear in general makes me odd, which makes situations bad.

To anyone who has beat this, kindly, please give me advice. It's all I have really ever known and am at a place in life where running is not an option anymore. Can't do that to my kids as they are young and deserve stability themselves. Stability may help with finding me, but it is terrifying yet has to be done...

#stability #Instability #beatbpd #beatbipolar #beatanxiety #StayStrong #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder