lonley

When I first started getting sick four years ago, it started with stomach pain. I thought no bother just an upset stomach I'll live. Then a week passed then two weeks then three. I thought huh that's odd but I'll get over it soon. After two months passed I thought right okay I'll go to the doctor I probably just need antibiotics or something.

I was prescribed buscopan and lansoprazole. Sent for blood tests and handed in a few samples for testing for like helicobacter. But everything came back clear. After another two months went passed and I wasn't any better I went back to the doctor. A few more tests got told there wasn't anything wrong with me probably because of my weight and mental health. Got told to loose some weight and put on anti depressants.

I lost a bit of weight took the antidepressants and got on with my life. I silently got on with it and ignored the pain as best I could. Four months went passed and I was exhausted. I'm pretty sure the GP thought I was wasting his time. I mean 20 year old females who are overweight and have a history of depression and anxiety don't have any other issues? Right?

A year came and went I was still dealing with the pain and fatigue. My joints were hurting on top of it all too. I didn't go out with friends I didn't drink I had tried every diet I could come up with. Nothing so I found a different doctor. I was switched from paroxitine to fluoxetine. I also switched the lansoprazole to omeprazole. My pain didn't get any better so I stopped going to the doctor I mean you heard them? There is nothing wrong with you. It's been a tough few years, your just depressed.

A year and a half came so I thought here let's give the GP another go. Benefit of the doubt, this time I saw a female doctor she up my antidepressants, gave me propanol, switch omeprazole to famotodine and then esomeprozle. Finally she did something else that no other doctor did, I was referred to a gastroenterologist. They then did a endoscopy and found a few things but nothing serious. Things were looking up I was being taken seriously

Then I moved from Scotland to England I registered with a new GP and I was back at square one. The doctor thought it was my mental health so he referred me. On my last appointment with him I faked being happy and put a big smile on it was like I was trying to prove to him "hey look at me I'm happy but still in pain please help" he finally referred me back to gastroenterology.

For four years I've been living with this stomach pain, joint pain and more I do have bpd, depression, anxiety, PTSD autism and ADHD but apart from that no firm answers on what causes my pain. The worst part I've done this all alone when I had my endoscopy? My parents thought I went to a job interview. Like the doctors they think there is nothing wrong with me. Since I moved to England four months ago we haven't spoken.

I hate how lonely all of this is. I'm on 13 medications and I am exhausted. I spend most of my weekends sleeping. I don't drink, I'm vegan, I exercise when I can and I work full time. I do everything right everything I'm supposed to so I can be healthy and yet I'm not. Chronic pain is so unfair. #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #BPD #medications #Doctors #lonley

You had me
I would have done anything for you
Looking back I am reminded of what we could have been and not what we were
Missing you is like missing the rain
Once the storm hits I reminded of your power but once you leave me dry I’m missing you all over again

#lonley #betteroff #missingwhatisntthere #YouGotThis

Read a post that asked the question why put up with being alone if you’re gonna die eventually anyway? And that really has me thinking. Most of us live our lives just barely above water. Drowning most of the time with little to no lifeline. Alone or at least feeling lonely even when surrounded by people. Can it be we were just put here to see how many people can survive without first removing themselves from the game, the game of life. Which is unfair and almost always stacked against you. We want to be seen, loved, understood. But most of us never find anyone who can fully and completely and wholly love all of us even the darkest parts that we often hide and can’t love ourselves. IDK been thinking lately about how everyone has someone. As humans we weren’t built to be alone yet so many of us are. Maybe it’s a lie we tell ourselves. The lie being that there is someone for everyone. Maybe there isn’t. Maybe some of us just aren’t meant to have someone. #lonley #alone #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD

Since I've been on The Mighty, I've had several requests for DMs. The conversations never went anywhere, and I didn't think anything about it. Then I was on here and read an article about emotionally predatory men (yes I'm sure there are women too) who come on here, scan for who seems #Vulnerable , then proceed to try to talk to these vulnerable people in an effort to #manipulate said people for their own nefarious reasons. I was floored. I thought about it, and I have NEVER had one single woman send me a DM. It's always been men. Then it occurred to me that when I said "Hey what's up?" Virtually all of them said "I'm just looking to chat with someone because I'm #lonley ." Yet when I tried to talk about mental or physical health or anything appropriate for The Mighty, they had nothing to say. When I looked at these men's profiles, virtually all of them had made zero comments, no real bio, were not in any groups, but we're following like 30 Mighty members, who allllll happen to be female.
I feel really angry with myself for not catching this sooner, but I'm working through that anger. So now, when I get random DMs from some guy, I always say "Hi, what were you needing to talk about?" Not ONE of them has even replied. At all.
Just remember to be careful. Emotional predators are real, and they are everywhere, including The Mighty.
#EmotionalPredator #unsafe #manipulation #EmotionalHealth

I’m so tired. I’m having terrible nightmares and I wake up screaming and my throat dry and even though there are 3 other ppl in this house I am always alone. There is absolutely no one on my life and sometimes I like it that way, no chance of getting hurt. But staying up all night because I am too scared too to sleep over and over, it’s pretty shitty. Did anyone know there is actually a word to describe someone who wants a relationship before they have sex. They are demisexual. They want to take time. I guess that might b me. From being frozen to never wanting again. Terrified of it. Maybe the right understanding gy

i would run to your house if you needed me, but when i need you your to busy. i get it though, im the expendable one of the group.