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#Aggravated #MarriageWithDepression

Ok I am new here so I'm very nervous 💗 bare with me 😂 anyway I woke up this morning to my husband running his mouth on me and actually accusing me for sneaking out at night or bringing someone else in the house!! OMG 😳 I have never even cheated on him. We both are trying to lay down the meth and it's day 2. It really hurts my feeling's.
#Recovery #Depression #anixety


I'm not ready to let go.

I recently found out about my wife's infidelity. I've been more apologetic than her. Knowing I haven't been the easiest person to get along with. The love is out of her eyes. Divorce is the topic of conversation lately. I even proposed an open marriage. To give her the space to find what she's looking for if it's not me. Or to get it out her system. I feel so stupid but I'm just not ready to lose her. #Marriage #infidelity #Marriageproblems #MarriageWithDepression


War of emotions inside my mind

Do you ever feel so conflicted with your thoughts and feelings that you don't know the best way forward? Life is super stressful for many most of the time, but since Covid hit the world, for some it's affecting them more than they could possibly have imagined. I'm one of those people. The one that quietly got on with life and suppressed those unwanted feelings, not allowing them time to present themselves in my mind, but when Covid hit, life changed, I had more time to think when I would usually be keeping very busy. I feel almost trapped by these overwhelming emotions and wondering if I should stay where I am or try to take a different path. I have a beautiful son, my husband and I have been together for 10 years. There was infidelity after our son was born and I've struggled since then. When you build a life with someone you love, share a child together and a business, it's a hard pill to swallow when trust is broken and the love and safety bubble gets burst by infidelity. It hasn't happened again, but I chose to stay because he was sorry and promised it wouldn't happen again. We have been working on things, but since Covid hit and turned our lives upside down, some feelings I have had locked away are resurfacing thanks to my Anxiety and feeling a bit depressed.

I am currently on a break with my Son away from my Husband, I called him last night and brought it up with my husband last night that I may need to make some serious decisions as I am just not in a good place. He was shocked but understanding, all he wants is for me to be happy and our son to live a wonderful life. He knows how much I struggle with stress and anxiety already. I just feel it's not so simple to walk away, I also would be taking our son with me if I did leave and I don't want to hurt our son by changing the way his life is now which is loving and warm and surrounded by family with a mum and dad all under the same roof. I love my husband so much and I don't want to hurt him, I know leaving with our son would be really hard for him and of course he will always be the father of our son and a special part of our lives, but I often ask myself if love is enough if we are both not really happy or in a happy place. I've never cried so much in my life. This year has really taken its toll on me. Hopefully I can find peace and an answer within myself . I'm so blessed we share a beautiful son together. And my husband is a wonderful loving father.

Life can be so Complicated . 😟



Can your partner hinder your motivation?

Every day after work and on weekends, all me and my husband does is sit on the couch and play games. I understand things are closed because of the virus but there are other things to do. It seem if he doesn’t do anything it results on me not doing anything. #Motivation #Marriage #MarriageWithDepression #COVID19


My husband just doesn’t understand....

My husband began dealing with my parinatal depression by drinking liquor. He would continuously put me down emotionally...especially by calling me LAZY.

He just doesn’t understand me or my Bipolar depression. I’ve been manic twice since I was diagnosed in 6/2009. I went manic to be diagnosed and then again on my wedding day, 5/8/2015. I got pregnant in 1/2017 and *finally* as in 4 months ago, did I actually recover from what felt like an eternity of depression.

My husband has since sought out AA and is making huge strides in his sobriety. However, he always tells me that I have no motivation to clean house, cook and do basic chores. (He does have diagnoses OCD and won’t treat it which is super annoying...) I do work for a living and between my job and being a Mom, most of a lot of the house chores gets put on the back burner. It’s not that I am filthy, I just struggle with finding the time to take care of myself emotionally and mentally and raising a super strong willed toddler and working.

I’m just so tired of him calling me lazy. And I feel like that’s all he sees in me. And that I don’t offer anything to our relationship. We were in couples therapy prior to the pandemic and haven’t had a session since mid March. I’m struggline right now with feeling adaquite in my own marriage.

I will say that since he has been sober, our marriage has done a 180 and I’m really happy for that. I just *wish* he wouldn’t just see me as lazy anymore. When really, all I’m doing it trying to push through the bad days and find some light in my own self.

#Bipolar1Disorder #MarriageWithDepression #selfcareissues


depressed, suppressive feelings and anger rising up

I never thought I would be here again.
After sooo much inner work and making plans... less than a month ago, we tied the knot and tonight he already said the divorce word. After all I’ve been doing, after paying all the bills when he got fired. He still treat like this?
I was so mad so rejected so disappointed I got loud and the neighbors called the cops.
Now we have a record on domestic violence and more anger and unhappiness.
what do you do with someone with adhd? someone that just still easily cracks at his ex and gets physical with me?
after 4 years. still so much sadness in my heart and so much questions unanswered. #Marriage #ToxicMarriage #issues #ADHD #adhdpartner #Depression #Anxiety #Divorce #MarriageWithDepression #Marriageissues


Feeling lonely

Life is so hum drum and boring. I stay in the house most days. when I do leave out it’s suuuuuuuch a hassle with the children. my husband is amazing and super supportive but doesn’t really understand. I feel like we only have about 10-20 minutes to talk daily between dinner and bed when he gets home from work and our weekends are always booked. I can’t get anything done no matter how hard I try. My “village” is spotty. this sucks #sahm #threechildren #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MarriageWithDepression


Anyone ever struggle with being unfaithful to your spouse related to your depression?

I keep finding myself painfully attracted to pretty much any man that gives me the time of day. I have an instant connection with these guys that understand what it's like to struggle with depression. I haven't had sex with anyone but my husband, but I've cheated emotionally and may have made out with one guy. Lord knows I wanted to do more.
My husband is an amazing man. He loves me even though I've struggled with this. And he knows, I told him. He thinks it's related to my depression, but I can't help but think I just want to escape. I don't deserve him. he's so wonderful and I'm unfaithful and an alcoholic.
Now there's yet another friend that has taken a turn toward something more. I can't stop. I don't know how. Can anyone relate? #Depression #MarriageWithDepression #cheating


Married to mental health #ClinicalDepression #Anxiety #MarriageWithDepression #Marriage #PTSD

Married to mental illness

It’s not just being in bed all day or being suicidal. It’s also irritability, mood swings, irrational thinking- heartbreaking shit. You become highly attuned to their mood shifts. Is today going to be a good day or a bad day? Am I safe to leave him alone today, or should I be worried he is going to self-harm? The constant worry when you do leave them alone, not getting quick responses to texts or calls and immediately going into panic mode that something is horribly wrong. You check on them periodically when they’re resting to make sure they’re still breathing.

They don’t sleep, you don’t sleep. They don’t eat, you don’t eat. You try to keep them away from triggers and protect them
from things that can invoke anxiety. You go through the motions, putting a smile on your face. You stay strong, even when all you want to do is hide away and cry. You’re afraid to show your true emotions because you know it’ll make them feel worse. You feel so completely and utterly helpless.

You spend hours researching their conditions and how to be a supportive partner. You stay up late at night contemplating how you can possibly help. Your work suffers. Your family suffers. Your own mental health suffers.

You’re there for them when they try new meds. You encourage them to work with their therapist and stick with it. You pick up the pieces and keep the house going when they have to check themselves into a mental health facility for days to weeks at a time. You love them at their most un-lovable times. You do damage control when they lash out at family or friends. You cancel plans. You pray every day for some answers and strength. It’s fucking exhausting, and if that isn’t love I don’t know what the hell is.


Can’t talk to my husband about mental illness

I posted this as a comment on another post but I just thought I’d share this to my my profile too.

I don’t have anyone I can talk to. I tried telling my husband about how I was feeling suicidal the other day and he answered that he doesn’t want to be with someone who thinks like that and continued to tell me how gloomy I was all the time and he doesn’t want to be around that. This was right before we were going to bed. I left the room after that because I didn’t want to be near him and couldn’t sleep. The next morning he acted like this never happened. He does this a lot and it confuses me because one minute he’s hurting me and the next it’s like he never wants to let me go. I can’t trust him but he’s the only person I have because I moved to another country to be with him. I want to talk to him about this but he gets upset whenever I do and tells me I always make him feel like a c***t and then I end up apologizing. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.
#Depression #Suicide #MarriageWithDepression #isolated