melanomasurvivor

With the weather changing I always get a little nervous, about myself & the kids being out even at school etc.
I used to enjoy being out busy doing things on nice days but after Being diagnosed with skin cancer in 2016,then having over 30 biopsy surgeries between then and now & the fact I have this upcoming biopsy on my lymph nodes in my neck next week it really makes me anxious in ways .
Hope if anyone is out, you are enjoying the nice weather & remember to keep safe and protect yourselves.♥️😊🙏

#MentalHealth #Melanoma #melanomasurvivor #melanomaawareness #SkinCancer #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #loveyourscars

So got a call from my specialist dermatologist today ,and after blood results she wasn't too pleased with and a few other things instead of a scan I am now getting a needle biopsy done on the lymph nodes in my neck (due to the previous skin cancer) this was an urgent referral and appointment, but as its like weeks away till I can get it done I am now extremely worried and stressed and just thinking the worst now.I am still on crutches, and have long term catheter in which next month il be then doing self catheterisation to see if that works OK and there's no issues. I feel absolutely drained physically and mentally, I got myself in such a panic and state after I found out just completely thinking the worst already, the waiting is constant anxiety and worrying too and my he's dust doesn't stop overthinking it all,I just feel so overwhelmed right now and genuinely don't think I can handle anything else 😔 🙈 feel as though the past months it has just been non stop and eventually I just feel broken 💔
#MentalHealth #Melanoma #melanomasurvivor #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #taketimeforyou #itsokaynottobeokay #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Upallnight #SkinCancer #PTSD #Positivity #wellness #Parenting #GeneralParenting #Bekind #loveyourself #longcovid #COVID19 #AloneTogether

Soo... I am still extremely unwell , I had to get my medication today and I thought I would be OK enough to go the 5 minutes journey to collect it from outside the store as obviously I am still in isolation and I could wait another day as my pain is too bad. So I thought I'm sure I'll manage ....
I am usually such a fit person , I go through my skin cancer surgeries, my endometriosis, my biopsies etc and I always just push on and get through it ...
This is the worst my body has ever been ... it is so bad that it can't fight the usual things it does and isn't coping with my usual symptoms in the way It usually does.
My body is soo drained and exhausted right now that I am feeling ever pain , I am so aware of how much I am struggling and I today after trying to manage this one task realised how much I making mh body worse by not giving it the rest it needs.I am pushing it too hard and yes usually I manage but this time I didn't I took a major bad turn at the chemist my body body went into panic mode ,I took a bit of a seizure and my body just about coped . I obviously still wasn't listening to my own body thinking I'd be fine !!! NOW I know and after that experience I am lucky enough to get home with help from my neighbours and back in to my bed .....
I DEFINITELY NEED TO LISTEN TO MY BODY & REALISE THIS IS NOT OK .
It's not a matter of knowing il be OK in a few days or giving myself a time ....My body is clearly had enough of that and will be ready and refuelled when it has had the time to heal and get better .....

So moral of the story is I need to realise that it's not my choice ,I HAVE TO REST and it's not giving up it's listening to and learning to respect my body for all the amazing things it has got me through to now know I need to do this in order to be Me again .....

#Depression #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Bekind #youmatter #Selfcare #loveyourself #alone #COVID19 #ChildLoss #Sepsis #melanomasurvivor #ItsOkNotToBeOk #rest #recover