recover

swimming in the universe

tiger floating too

buzzing in our spaceship

smiling as our crew

sees our angel up ahead

YES!! we're moving on through

SPACE..

the final frontier (LOL

woo hoo HERE :)

#PTSD #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Disability #recover #Superpower #technique #angel #innerguide

deep breathing

(((in ... out...

eyes closing

listen

YES!!

softly singing

joy .... love

TRUE

((thank-YOU :)

#Anxiety #recover #technique #PTSD #MentalHealth #innercalm #Superpower #listen

Over the past few weeks my health has been the worst its ever been .I am suffering justnow with sever covid , pneumonia, sepsis and damage to my liver and lungs .
This is on top of my usual daily spells of endometriosis flaring up, my anxiety and depression.

I am just out of hospital in the high dependency unit and I am on strict bed rest. I haven't been able to be round the little ones due to all of this and they're not home from their dad until Monday now also due to my isolation period.

I know myself this is best as theyl be having the time of their lives and lots of attention they don't always get the luxury off with being able to spend so much time with their dad due to his work, I know I could cope looking after them at home anyway as I can barely move or take care of myself rightness. BUT as much as I know this is best ,the fact I am struggling so much health wise that little voice in my head has decided to flare up and I have all these feelings of sadness and guilt as though I'm failing as a mummy , as though my body's failing me to be the mummy I usually am ,everything just feels very heightened right now because of how run down I am .I know now I have to take this time to rest , recover and try and get myself back to me again and I can only do that when I accept that I have to do self care , self love and self appreciation knowing that yes I'm struggling justnow but my body has got me through it all and more....I have to stop punishing myself for being so unwell just now and stop letting those things get in my head that I am failing or not a good mum because I've needed this time where I haven't been with them.
I need to remember I am no use to anyone especially them if I don't look after myself first and make sure I am OK .
It is just so much easier said than done and I am feeling very all over the place justnow...

I need to remember I AM ENOUGH & I DO MATTER but unless I let my body rest and recover and do what it needs in whatever time it takes to do it I am only going to make myself worse.

Does anyone else feel like this? Or be too hard on yourself as a parent????

#Depression #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Bekind #youmatter #Selfcare #loveyourself #COVID19 #ChildLoss #recover #ItsOkNotToBeOk #everydayparenting #Parenting

Soo... I am still extremely unwell , I had to get my medication today and I thought I would be OK enough to go the 5 minutes journey to collect it from outside the store as obviously I am still in isolation and I could wait another day as my pain is too bad. So I thought I'm sure I'll manage ....
I am usually such a fit person , I go through my skin cancer surgeries, my endometriosis, my biopsies etc and I always just push on and get through it ...
This is the worst my body has ever been ... it is so bad that it can't fight the usual things it does and isn't coping with my usual symptoms in the way It usually does.
My body is soo drained and exhausted right now that I am feeling ever pain , I am so aware of how much I am struggling and I today after trying to manage this one task realised how much I making mh body worse by not giving it the rest it needs.I am pushing it too hard and yes usually I manage but this time I didn't I took a major bad turn at the chemist my body body went into panic mode ,I took a bit of a seizure and my body just about coped . I obviously still wasn't listening to my own body thinking I'd be fine !!! NOW I know and after that experience I am lucky enough to get home with help from my neighbours and back in to my bed .....
I DEFINITELY NEED TO LISTEN TO MY BODY & REALISE THIS IS NOT OK .
It's not a matter of knowing il be OK in a few days or giving myself a time ....My body is clearly had enough of that and will be ready and refuelled when it has had the time to heal and get better .....

So moral of the story is I need to realise that it's not my choice ,I HAVE TO REST and it's not giving up it's listening to and learning to respect my body for all the amazing things it has got me through to now know I need to do this in order to be Me again .....

#Depression #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Bekind #youmatter #Selfcare #loveyourself #alone #COVID19 #ChildLoss #Sepsis #melanomasurvivor #ItsOkNotToBeOk #rest #recover

I am staying positive and committed to my #Recovery and I have accepted that Im ment to be #alone bc in the midst of my #recover..the relationships I have with ppl are ending,But my #boundaries are growing stronger, #Selfcare is a commitment more than a routine, especially when it comes to me being in #Recovery.