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    I Finished A (Big) Accomplishment Today

    Disclaimer: This thought contains themes that may trigger you.

    Although this might sound like an easy task to carry out, I have been struggling to find out how to carry myself forward. Every single day, I have been feel nothing but dread and lethargy to such extent that bringing trash downstairs takes a lots of balls and hours of anxiety-driven planning before I could get it done.

    Days turned weeks, the anxiety has become more unbearable that I had no choice but to do something about it. Today is the unfortunate day when things turned upside down. In other words, everything I have written and posted today are events that happened not too long ago.

    With almost 10 years in the freelance writing business, one could imagine that I am this kind of person who is an expert and ideal for business success. While that was how it seemed from the surface, what’s beneath was far from reality.

    I was rotting inside. My soul was crushing and dying. Physically, I became a fan of self-inflicted bruises and wounds. Mentally, I was not able to think for myself right to such a point where choosing the most basic of things took a lot of time and effort. Overall, I wasn’t okay.

    Years forward, I am still working on my new chapter of my life. The urge of self-inflicting damages has been gone, as well as the loud scream of my bulimic tendencies has been whispered.

    Secret?

    Since 2 months ago, writing a book has been helping me out in my journey. It has been years since I’ve started this self-improvement journey through writing.

    How about you? What keeps you going?

    #Writing #recover #transformation #writingformentalhealth #Selfcare

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    one universe at a time :)

    swimming in the universe

    tiger floating too

    buzzing in our spaceship

    smiling as our crew

    sees our angel up ahead

    YES!! we're moving on through

    SPACE..

    the final frontier (LOL

    woo hoo HERE :)

    #PTSD #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Disability #recover #Superpower #technique #angel #innerguide

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    inner angel guide ((listen :)

    deep breathing

    (((in ... out...

    eyes closing

    listen

    YES!!

    softly singing

    joy .... love

    TRUE

    ((thank-YOU :)

    #Anxiety #recover #technique #PTSD #MentalHealth #innercalm #Superpower #listen

    2 comments
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    Why is it soo difficult to accept this instead of constantly being harsh on ourselves??? Do any of you find yourself doing this ??? #Parenting

    Over the past few weeks my health has been the worst its ever been .I am suffering justnow with sever covid , pneumonia, sepsis and damage to my liver and lungs .
    This is on top of my usual daily spells of endometriosis flaring up, my anxiety and depression.

    I am just out of hospital in the high dependency unit and I am on strict bed rest. I haven't been able to be round the little ones due to all of this and they're not home from their dad until Monday now also due to my isolation period.

    I know myself this is best as theyl be having the time of their lives and lots of attention they don't always get the luxury off with being able to spend so much time with their dad due to his work, I know I could cope looking after them at home anyway as I can barely move or take care of myself rightness. BUT as much as I know this is best ,the fact I am struggling so much health wise that little voice in my head has decided to flare up and I have all these feelings of sadness and guilt as though I'm failing as a mummy , as though my body's failing me to be the mummy I usually am ,everything just feels very heightened right now because of how run down I am .I know now I have to take this time to rest , recover and try and get myself back to me again and I can only do that when I accept that I have to do self care , self love and self appreciation knowing that yes I'm struggling justnow but my body has got me through it all and more....I have to stop punishing myself for being so unwell just now and stop letting those things get in my head that I am failing or not a good mum because I've needed this time where I haven't been with them.
    I need to remember I am no use to anyone especially them if I don't look after myself first and make sure I am OK .
    It is just so much easier said than done and I am feeling very all over the place justnow...

    I need to remember I AM ENOUGH & I DO MATTER but unless I let my body rest and recover and do what it needs in whatever time it takes to do it I am only going to make myself worse.

    Does anyone else feel like this? Or be too hard on yourself as a parent????

    #Depression #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Bekind #youmatter #Selfcare #loveyourself #COVID19 #ChildLoss #recover #ItsOkNotToBeOk #everydayparenting #Parenting

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    Don't quit ..... #Depression #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Bekind #youmatter #Selfcare #loveyourself #COVID19

    Soo... I am still extremely unwell , I had to get my medication today and I thought I would be OK enough to go the 5 minutes journey to collect it from outside the store as obviously I am still in isolation and I could wait another day as my pain is too bad. So I thought I'm sure I'll manage ....
    I am usually such a fit person , I go through my skin cancer surgeries, my endometriosis, my biopsies etc and I always just push on and get through it ...
    This is the worst my body has ever been ... it is so bad that it can't fight the usual things it does and isn't coping with my usual symptoms in the way It usually does.
    My body is soo drained and exhausted right now that I am feeling ever pain , I am so aware of how much I am struggling and I today after trying to manage this one task realised how much I making mh body worse by not giving it the rest it needs.I am pushing it too hard and yes usually I manage but this time I didn't I took a major bad turn at the chemist my body body went into panic mode ,I took a bit of a seizure and my body just about coped . I obviously still wasn't listening to my own body thinking I'd be fine !!! NOW I know and after that experience I am lucky enough to get home with help from my neighbours and back in to my bed .....
    I DEFINITELY NEED TO LISTEN TO MY BODY & REALISE THIS IS NOT OK .
    It's not a matter of knowing il be OK in a few days or giving myself a time ....My body is clearly had enough of that and will be ready and refuelled when it has had the time to heal and get better .....

    So moral of the story is I need to realise that it's not my choice ,I HAVE TO REST and it's not giving up it's listening to and learning to respect my body for all the amazing things it has got me through to now know I need to do this in order to be Me again .....

    #Depression #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Bekind #youmatter #Selfcare #loveyourself #alone #COVID19 #ChildLoss #Sepsis #melanomasurvivor #ItsOkNotToBeOk #rest #recover

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    Daily Inspiration

    The next step in your recovery is placing one foot in front of the other. #Recovery #recover #Healing #HealingVoices

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    How can you "unlearn" or "unthink" ideas that a #narcissisticmom planted in your mind? 36 years of #narcissistic abuse... how do you #recover ??

    I don't even know who I am...

    7 comments
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    #RECOVERINGCODEPENDENT #Depression

    I am staying positive and committed to my #Recovery and I have accepted that Im ment to be #alone bc in the midst of my #recover..the relationships I have with ppl are ending,But my #boundaries are growing stronger, #Selfcare is a commitment more than a routine, especially when it comes to me being in #Recovery.

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    #HealinginRecovery #courage

    Im proud of myself, I joined a CARE Group at my mom support church its a #recover

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    Needing to find myself

    After suffering from this miscarriage and everything else that's been going on in my life, I am really needing to find who I am. I need to find what sparks a fire in my soul, better ways to cope, learn who I really am as a person. Yes I am a mom and a fiancé but I know deep down I am so much more than that and I can still express who I am while being all of that. #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Healing #lettingo #recover #findingmyself

    4 comments