Mentalexhaustion

Having a rough few days. Been pushing myself to be there for everyone,get back into regular work and appear stable myself.

I'm exhausted and it's hard not to feel hopeless. I've appeared okay but the truth is I've still been struggling all along waiting for it to be actually okay.

I'm tired of looking after myself for the sake of others when I actually don't know how I want to be. #Depression #Selfworth #Mentalexhaustion

I’m struggling with the exhaustion of motherhood. Like, I’m actually looking forward to my colonoscopy on Friday because it means I’ll have several hours out of the house and away from my kids. Tomorrow my husband is taking them to a friends house that we haven’t seen in months, to welcome back the dad who was deployed for 6 months. He’s doing that so I can do my prep without too much interference from the kids.

I love them. But I need a break. Preferably not one that requires me to empty my colon, but I’ll take what I can get. #MentalHealth #Mentalexhaustion #Motherhood

Had a full on crying meltdown with a side of an awesome panic attack. Emotional drained. I can't be there for emotional support for 3 friends and deal with my own nonsense all at the same time anymore. It's too much.

It’s one of those bullshit & stressful week 3 years in a row. I’m on a verge of #Mentalbreakdown mainly my work is the culprit. My clients and the office staff were on “Bitch mode” all week. A constant barrage of texts and emails. Non-stop complaints coming in from all directions. These fuckin people have no clue how it can be emotionally exhausting. Never realizing a person can only take so much. “Passing the buck” is the only thing they’re good at. #BPD in full effect. It’s pretty bad when I got out of the gym earlier I was still stressed. My shoes turned brown from stepping on several bullshits! When’s it gonna end? I had to get off work early today because it was just too much. At 4 pm, I texted my girlfriend saying I’m turning in early and don’t wanna be bothered. I punched the bathroom door because I was so angry. People just fuckin pissed me off. I’m just venting if anyone is listening. #Depression #Mentalexhaustion #ADHD #Angerissues #triggered

Today is a bad anxiety day. I took something to calm me down and am at least not crying at simple courtesies.
Even good conversations can be exhausting on a bad day. I just chatted with someone about a mutually loved topic. It was a fun chat. Even so, I had to force myself to pay attention and not walk away in the middle.
Now I’m ready to hide from the world for the rest of the day. #AnxietyDisorders #anxietyatwork #Mentalexhaustion #GoodthingIhaveanappointmenttoday

With anxiety comes the over thinking. The worry, the 100 questions, that nasty voice in my head making everything awful. I spend my time at work pretty much with my head down. Occasionally I’ll be pulled into convo but I generally just get on with it because honestly I feel like everyone hates me. I had 6
Months off work after a break down. I came back and I’m no longer a member of this team.

I have been back 3 months and today my manager started a convo, asked if I’d watched any good TV.
Now I’ve always been a fan of the occasional horror, not gore but I enjoy a good jumpy movie
Once in a while. All I said was that I’d watched a good horror film. His response being “you shouldn’t be watching stuff like that really now should you ... you know with how you are right now”.

Now correct me if I am
Wrong but what is this assumption? that horror films will exasperate my mind set?
Maybe it was a genuine concern? But... umm... Did the film “Carrie” make me suicidal, cause my PTSD, Anxiety and major depression? Ermmm... no it was the fact I was subject to a horrific crime, years of mental, physical and emotional abuse. Am I not allowed to enjoy a horror film because I am mentally ill?

This comment angered me.
And I have not been able to stop thinking about it for almost 10 hours now. It is grating on me . Am I being unreasonable to be irritated by this?
I’m sorry if I am. Im probably being stupid but grrrr. #Horror #Anxiety #Mentalexhaustion
#SocialAnxiety
This is why I don’t cope socially.
I needed to just put it out these so I can go to bed and stop thinking.