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What to do?

I’m angry. I’m so angry on that people always use me. They don’t think about my emotions while I give all of myself to think about theirs. I’m loosing control over my anger and don’t know what to do anymore. I’m calming myself but anger is still inside. I have an appointment with my therapist in 6 days and I don’t know what to do until that. I don’t want my anger go undercontrol, but I’m loosing it. I’m scared that I’ll do something bad in these 6 days. I’m in such a box of stress and anger, that scares me. I’ve read and tried all things to calm myself. If someone has experience with controling anger I would like it to share with me. (In coment or in private) Thanks 🌷
#anger #Angerissues #Advice #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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My mom is toxic #Toxic #ToxicParenting #BPD #Angerissues #Childhoodtrauma #narcisstwithvictimcomplex #Depression

A few days ago I had a fight with my mom because she is rude, doesn’t want to understand my emotions and thoughts, and honestly she is toxic. The problem is, my bank account is overdrawn and right now I can’t do anything about it. I just started a new job and it’s exhausting. I tried to explain to her, I tried to say that I just can’t do an additional side job because of my mental illness.
She also insulted my girlfriend, talked to her like she was her child and yelled at her.
She almost made me explode, I was going to freak out and then my girlfriend showed me a text message that said I should calm down a little bit cause she makes me angry, and she’s right. She makes me angry every time I talk to her. Every time there’s something that she doesn’t like or hate about me. With every call my self esteem dies a little bit more, and the pain won’t stop, and then I’m crying because of the things she said. Every time. And now she ignores our fight, ignores her words and the terrible things she said about me. Honestly I don’t know why she does this. I mean, she should have learned from New Year’s Eve - I had a suicide attempt with my girlfriend. Since that three days at the hospital in the ICU and psych ward she says that she worries about me. Although we haven’t circled around another “attempt” since then at all. But being rude doesn’t help, it makes everything worse. Now she wants me to just get over it, to forget and “be(act?) happy and communicative” for her, so she doesn’t have to worry about me. Well, I don’t think she worries. I think she’s jealous of my girlfriend, I talk about everything with her, I can be myself. With my mother, everything seems unreal and I’m not really there like I see everything through clouds or something. Can anyone relate? I just have no clue how to deal with my mom, how to explain that I am ill and I’ll never going to be healthy. You can’t heal borderline personality disorder if you just “find a hobby that you love and care about” I mean wtf is wrong with you?! Like “you could start riding a horse again or working with animals, animals are pure therapy and joy”.
Does anyone knows how I can deal with her? I just don’t know what to do anymore. #NarcissisticAbuse

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Bpd changed me #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Angerissues

Since I know that I have bpd, I notice what it does to me. My mother has always been able to upset me, but now there is an immense anger growing inside me as soon as I talk to her and she doesn't like something again. I go from 0 to 100 in less than a second and it scares me. I was never an angry person, I was always quiet and reserved. Now everything is coming to light and by now I don't even know who I am or who I was. I feel good and I'm positive, then I'm on the phone and suddenly I'm aggressive and I want to scream at her and insult her, throw everything she's done at her and that she doesn't understand me and has never tried. But since I don't want to do that, I try to hold back. How do I deal with it? What can I do?

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BPD in the workplace 😣

I'm having a lot of trouble controlling my anger that doesn't result in me simply excusing myself from the room. Generally, I fear that opening my mouth mouth excuse myself at all will result in saying other things that should not be mentioned in a professional setting.

Unfortunately for now, I am not at liberty to take 5 minutes to calm myself and deal with my feelings as it generally is a fast paced environment in retail and customers everywhere. I already have a difficult time dealing with authoritative figures and I need to find an outlet for strong, intense triggering anger and emotional rage.

Any suggestions?

#CheckInWithMe #BPD #bpdintheworkplace #Angerissues #professionalstruggles #aversiontoauthority #overwhelmed


Living with PTSD #PTSD #Depression #Trauma #Angerissues

What should I do if i still can't get over a trauma I had when I was 9. I am 20 now and i still get these flashbacks and nightmares. I hate it when I'm reminded of that. I keep constantly hating myself. Blaming myself. Lost in thoughts. It just sucks.


Why I Avoid Posting Here #Angerissues #OfMonstersAndMen

Every freaking time I post something or comment on a post I get bombarded with chat requests from MEN.

Look, guys, I am NOT INTERESTED in private chats, especially with men. I am 60 years old, happily married, and NOT looking for any kind of long distance relationship (not even platonic friendship) with anyone, male or otherwise.

I have many problems, some I have more-or-less overcome and some I’m very much still working on. But I have to avoid posting because there are apparently quite a few men who have joined The Mighty to prey on vulnerable women! I am so angry over this! I want some way to report them! I want everyone to be blocked from requesting private chats (except with moderators) until they are actually contributing members of the community. I want to be able to look up these people’s profiles to see who they are before I decline a chat request, just on the chance that they’re genuine. Meanwhile I’m just ticked off and will keep declining.

And men—any chat requests I get after THIS post, I won’t just decline. I will report.


A chance.

It is difficult to live up to your parents expectations or for that matter anybody's expectations. There's a difference between what I want to do and what I am doing. Fighting a outer battle can be torturesome but fighting an inner battle is much harder. And fighting both at the same time is much more harder then one can express. Constantly fighting with your thoughts and pin pointing what exactly gone wrong is overwhelming and exhausting. I am always day dreaming and thinking of myself in a place where I am happy BUT and because I never stop realising that reality is disappointing and devastating. Having a chance to do something differently is what I need , just a chance. A chance to know myself a little more. And a chance from my father to let me do what I want. :))
#Depression #Angerissues #BipolarDepression #PanicAttack #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #Familyproblems #Career

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Bipolar Mood Swings

Does anyone else use things that they're mad about , to fuel them to be productive? I allow little things with my kids, husband, friends, work, that have been bothering me to get angry because being mad allows me adrenaline and energy to be able to get things done that I can't seem to normal get done because I'm exhausted. Today I kept thinking about things and got all upset and I was able to get dressed, out of the house(1st rimes since July 1st) I was able to go to the store, clean the house and laundry all because of thing about those things and then when I sat down and my husband asked my i was mad, and I told him. Im not really mad, I just needed to get things account and thinks abut things that upset me allows me to be able to, yet when I'm done I sit down and I'm so wore out I can barely move or open my eyes..Am I the only one who does this?
#Angerissues #BipolarObsessiveness #bipolarupsanddowns #Adrenaline


Only bugging thing, my career.

Both of my parents and my elder brother are doctors. When I had to choose my subjects for 11th standard, I knew I don't want to choose PCB or PCM Or commerce for that matter. I had only one option left and that was humanities. I was quite happy with that if I am being honest. But my parents, especially my father was very persistent on making me choose Biology. I knew I didn't want to be a doctor so he scolded me, made me meet with people who would basically talk me into taking biology. I didn't bulge. So they went to our principal who is a good friend of my parents, he told them that if she takes up Biology she will flunk so it's better we give her an easier subject that was humanities. I was hurt by what he said but I was happy that atleast now I can do what I want. He told me if I am taking humanities I'll have to pursue law in college, I didn't want to that either but at that time I had no option than to nod to whatever he says because at that time all I cared was the subjects I had to opt for 11th, so I thought whatever will happen, will happen after 2 years so it can wait till then I'll just go with the flow. So I went with the flow. I scored a good percentage in 12th standard with those marks I could have gone to a great college for pursuing BA in psychology and I also got selected for the same. But my father came in, he said that BA is not course you will have to have a professional degree etc etc. He scolded me and what not. I was not happy. Now I am in 3rd year doing law, I feel as if I stuck. I have nowhere to go, nobody to talk to and nobody to believe me. MA in clinical psychology needs a bachelor degree in psychology which I don't have. I feel as if I trapped and I am unable to do anything. I am always reminded that I am a failure. The only thing that made me go all 7-8 years of depression was my career and now I am left with nothing. To all those people who feel struck in doing something and have a way out of it, please follow your heart. As for me I know where my heart is, but I don't know how do I get out of it. #MentalHealth #Depression #Anixous #AnxietyDisorderNotOtherwiseSpecified #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #PanicAttack #Angerissues


Heavy sleeper much???

Currently sitting in the office waiting for 40 minutes until the taxi can pick me up because my boyfriend is a piece of shit. He did this to me all the time when I worked at walmart, he knows it pisses me off.
He asked if I'd be done at 10:30 and I said yes. I ended up getting done a little earlier so let him know, he didn't respond. I called, no answer. Currently I have called him like 15, maybe more times and sent him so many rude messages and that don't bother asking me anymore.
Seriously how does someone sleep through all of this??? I'm a heavy sleeper too but just one phone call wakes me up. And he always blames it on the dog. This is so ridiculous. The taxi is expensive but seriously, I don't need you if you're going to keep doing this. He did this to me yesterday too and had to wait just as long. When I want to go home after work, I WANT TO GO HOME.
And he never sleeps right away in the morning after work anymore, but now I have this job all of a sudden he does??? Whatever... I'm so done. I cannot stop screaming in my head
#Work #Relationships #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BlackandwhiteThinking #Angerissues