How you feel if one of your partners #alters cheated on you. Is not the partner, but an aspect of them.
Recently my wife has discovered one of my alters has been having adult relationships with other people. I don’t know what to do?
This was a part of my fusion story, my persecutor alter “B” was once a protector and damned herself because of shame and what she experienced with my trauma, she felt alone and told herself she was a monster. My internal self helper, “Elizabeth” told her a story about how brave and strong she was to face everything in the beginning by herself and how she was never alone. I cried for B for also entire month. I felt her redemption and the love bond between the two, I felt so complete, two pieces of me in unity and peace. Unconditional love.
So, I woke up this morning and saw that one of my alters (I suspect who it was, but I’m not sure) decided you rent “Hannibal” on YouTube. I went to my YouTube app to watch some videos and saw I was halfway through the video. 😂😂😂 My alters seem to come out more when I’m intoxicated (which I was after a couple of bourbon and Cokes 😂), or when I’m tired (which, I was, seeing as it was about 5am when I was trying to get some sleep). I never know what they’ll pull and it makes life a little more fun and interesting (when the alters are not being cruel and insulting). Looks like I’m starting my day with “Hannibal”. 😂😂😂 Anyone have any alters do something weird or crazy like that? #DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #Weird #Wacky #WhatWillTheyThinkOfNext ? #alters #Dissociating
I was looking at old photos of myself and came upon some from before I went into Eating Disorder residential treatment in December. Any time these photos have come up since I’ve gotten to a healthy weight, they’ve made me want to go back to that.
Today, that didn’t happen. I saw a photo that I wanted to share with a close friend or two, because I know it’s an alter. But I caught myself thinking, “I don’t like how skinny and sick I look in it”.
This is HUGE! To want my body to look (and I hate this word, but for lack of a better one) healthy, rather than sick is a major triumph. I know this comes and goes, but I wanted to acknowledge it and feel this growth and give it some space.
This is growth. This is proof EMDR and a fuckton of group therapy is working. This is proof that getting to the root of the ED- the trauma, is key. I’m proud of myself. And that’s something else I’ve never felt before.
#ThisIsRecovery #ThisIsHealing #EatingDisorders #EatingDisorderRecovery #AnorexiaNervosa #ResidentialTreatment #ResidentialCare #emdr #emdrtherapy #Healing #PersonalGrowth #DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #alters
A newly emerged young alter has been highly anxious so we went for a walk to work out the tension and fear. Unfortunately, we came across a dead rabbit and he felt destroyed by it, getting so emotional the rest of us nearly lost consciousness.
I feel SO badly for him; it's a very delicate process to co-con with him and teach him boundaries and healthy behaviors/responses. I've asked other adult alters for their help and suggestions in caring for him.
And then there's me coming down after bodily experiencing shock, rapid switching, etc. I'm not ok.
We are little today. No words, just preverbal moans. Memories of utter helplessness, no way to fight back or protect my body, and being subjected to the horrific cruelness of the monsters masquerading as my human father and his friends. So today we eat good foods, hold our stuffed lambie and listen to Spa Music on Pandora. Later, some preschool cartoons on Kidoodle. SHE, had no say in what happened to HER. TODAY, SHE gets to choose what WE do. TODAY is all about HER, and what SHE needs. Sweet little baby. SHE is safe and loved here.